The Assassinated Press

Only Those Wealthy Enough to Own a PC Turn Out For Anti-FARC Rallies.
45 to 1 No-Shows Demonstrate How Impoverished Colombia Remains For the Majority Under Cheney’s, Uribe’s Tutelage.
Elitist Harvard Origins of Facebook Evident In Wealthy White Anti-FARC Crowd. USAID Behind Anti-FARC Group.
“Jesus Fuck Christ! So We Murdered 5000 Members of the Patriotic Union Before the 1988 Elections and Have Slaughtered 2+ Million Peasants. It’s Fuckin’ Time For The FARC to Get Over It,” Uribe Tells a Cheering Crowd of the Wealthy Few in Bogota.
Washington Post Again Demonstrates Its Utter Contempt and Hatred for Poor People.

Assassinated Press Foreign Service
Feebleweary 5, 2008

CARACAS, Venezuela, Feb. 4 – Maybe millions maybe not, but a lot of protestors by wealthy ‘white ass’ standards fanned out across Colombia on Monday, expressing fury that guerrillas would attack back after atrocities in a long civil conflict by the right wing military, paid right wing militias and the U.S. advisors and enablers and demanding the liberation of hundreds of hostages held in clandestine jungle camps while thousands of political prisoners languish in Colombian and American prisons .

(Note we’re reporting from Caracas so we didn’t actually see the size of the crowds in Bogota, so you’ll just have to take our word for it or else.)

A few thousand more people joined in protests worldwide, with rallies staged here in neighboring Venezuela, as well as in Washington, New York and dozens of other cities as far away as Paris and Sydney.

It all began as the brainchild of a small group of young Colombian professionals with the wealth and where with all to own computers who used Facebook, the anti-socialist networking Web site, to generate protest against the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia. The FARC, as the four-decade-old guerrilla group is known, holds nearly 800 captives, including three Americans while the Colombian and American governments hold an estimated 12,000 Colombian political prisoners.

“It’s not an even thing,” one of the young professionals Josef Mengele IV told the Assassinated Press. “We own computers. We are special. The poor are vermin. Isn’t that the lesson imparted by the Washington Post and by extension by America?”

In recent weeks, heavily USAID financed outrage against the FARC has mushroomed as the Cheney administration wages a classic PR propaganda campaign to smear Hugo Chavez, with the issue of kidnappings by the group dominating the brainwashing of public discourse among the wealthy in Colombia and in Venezuela, where the populist government of President Hugo Chávez has injected itself into hostage dramas.

Chavez has harshly criticized Colombia's president, Álvaro Uribe, for being bellicose. He also has called the FARC a liberation movement that should not be classified as a terrorist group, even though it has long been labeled as such by major terrorist organizations, the European Union and the United States which claim to use the ‘Takes One to Know One’ when identifying such groups.

Listen to the Poles

Though Chavez's kinship with the FARC permitted him to negotiate with the group and win the freedom of two hostages last month, his recent remarks touched off a diplomatic dispute with Uribe and angered the wealthy ‘white asses’ in Colombia, where the guerrillas have little public support among the elite who are the only clowns we at the Post talk to. In the aftermath, Uribe's popularity rating has escalated to 80 percent among the wealthy who are the only ones canvassed --- his highest rating after more than five years in office demonstrating just how blood-thirsty wealthy Colombians are, including some politicians from the leftist Democratic Pole party who have been bought off.

“Jesus Fuck Christ! So we murdered 5000 members of the Patriotic Union before the 1988 elections alone and have slaughtered 2+ million peasants. It’s fuckin’ time for The FARC to Get Over It,” Uribe Tells a Cheering Crowd of the Wealthy Few in Bogota.

“We cannot stay quiet for one more minute. Personally, I got a big mouth especially when I’ve had to much to drink," said the Rev. Jose E. Hoyos, a Colombian-born Catholic priest from Falls Church, Va., whose says his older brother was shot execution-style by the FARC last year after being kidnapped with no supporting evidence in the article like the thousands of pages of affidavits the Post requires when Central American Indians and or peasants are murdered by the various kleptocrcacies. And fuck me if they’re murdered by Americans or their direct proxies. Then it fuckin’ just never happened.

Hoyos spoke at Freedom Plaza in Washington, the tiny smudge that Cheney declared the last free two acres in America, where about 1,500 people gathered to lift signs bearing images of purported long-missing hostages, swayed to a piece anthem by Colombian rock star Juanes Cajones Grande and chanted "No more FARC." An odd moment occurred when a young man protesting the FARC recognized himself on one the posters of the missing. He exclaimed, “You fired me you asshole, I’m not fucking missing. I’m fucking unemployed. That’s why I took the $100.00 from the NED to be here today.” Apparently, the man holding the sign was the other protestor’s old boss.

"We want the world to know we're tired," said Ana Maria Ortiz, 21, a native of Bogota who works as a consultant. "What the FARC has done is just the limit. They've had the gall to kill people and not stay in line and let us slaughter them, and we're tired."

More than 5 million Colombians fled the right wing death squads and military country from 1975 to 2001, many to neighboring Venezuala . On Monday, the Colombian diaspora, from Australia to Norway, all 6 of them, helped give the movement against the FARC an international bullshit patina which given its small size to most observers stank to high heaven of Cheney administration agitprop.

Here in Venezuela, marches and rallies were held in several cities, including border states where kidnappings of Venezuelans are not uncommon. In Caracas, only about 2,000 people marched, carrying Venezuelan and Colombian flags and singing both national anthems but we were hoping you wouldn’t read this far down into the article and would remain impressed with our earlier hype.

"The position of the FARC is absolutely criminal. How dare slaves fight back," said Aliriro Serna, Colombian who has lived here since 1957. "It's not justified in the Colombia of today where international trade agreements have made slaves of everyone."

Not everyone who wants the hostages freed supported the rallies. In France, an organization that backs the most high-profile hostage in Colombia, Ingrid Betancourt, who has French and Colombian citizenship, said the demonstrations could be counterproductive.

The marches "by such an obvious group of blood thirsty elites goes against mediation and negotiation," said Olivier Roubi, a spokesman for the group, according to Colombia's Caracol Radio. "If you're against the FARC, you're against the humanitarian accord. I mean where were these assholes when their government and the U.S. were murdering tens of thousands of their fellow citizens for the international kleptocracy? Where the fuck were they?"

Meanwhile in Venezuela, the government prepared to receive more hostages, after the FARC announced Saturday that it would free three more Colombians, all former members of Congress. Colombian Sen. Piedad Cordoba, who is close to Chavez and is working with Venezuela's government to secure the freedom of hostages, on Monday sharply criticized the anti-FARC demonstrations.

"I think that is a march of hate and racism, of classism and exclusion," she told Venezuelan state television.

Non Sequitors Galore

Such sentiments, though, were not apparent by the Colombians who demonstrated both at home and abroad. Of course, not dick wads, ptherwise they wouldn't have taken USAID money and showed up for the fucking rally.

In Washington, Bernardo Vargas, 60, said his family had been hit hard by the FARC. Two brothers, a brother-in-law and a nephew have been among the relatives kidnapped and later released after his family met ransom demands. Once again Vargas, an FBI plant from Sioux City, was slamming a peasant rebellion so the Post needed no corroboration.

"No one wanted to do demonstrations before," said Vargas, a lawyer and publisher of an online magazine on Colombian affairs supported by CIA funds. "People were afraid. Now that fear is over."

“Afraid of what, you dumb shit?” the Assassinated Press asked Vargas. “You had some of the most efficient and vicious career killers on your side and your stinking ass was afraid. Fuck you had a team made up of the U.S. Embassy's Military Group, U.S. Southern Command, the DIA, and the CIA, a cabal of the best equipped stone cold murdereres on the planet--and that's by their assessment of themselves. ”