Neotony—When certain environmental conditions like popular music and videos inhibit the completion of metamorphosis to adulthood.

“There are no dirty words.”-- Lenny Bruce.

The Assassinated Press

'Ho Money. Ho Money. Ho Money': It’s Capitalist Realism That’s Pornographic.
“Rap Is As American As Mom, Apple Pie, Clown-Like Fashions And School Yard Shootings,” Russell Simmons Tells Oprah. “As Long As You Can Make A Buck On It, Its Victims Are Fair Game.”
NRA, KKK And GOP Mount Vigorous Defense Of Thumbsucker Music On Second Amendment Grounds.
The Don Anus Test: Will Rappers Take Thumbs Out Their Asses And Smell The Coffee After Undergoing Self-Examination?
Latest Form Of Corporate Thumbsucking Pop Music Undergoes Scrutiny As Sales Plummet And Contracts Do Not Seem So Attractive To The Suits.
Language Used As Canard To Break Deals.

Assassinated Press Staff Writers
April 25, 2007

At first blush, it seemed as if the latest furor over misogyny and racism in rap had died down after Monday morning reports of sales figures. Shock jock Don Anus, in the wake of puttering his now-famous two-word slur, got the sack while ‘better read therefore not dead like many thumbsuckers who listen to rap and other forms of neotonous American commercial culture’ Al Sharpton declared that "more people need to get this message." But two weeks past its popular communications news expiration date, the debate seems to be gathering renewed strength because the Monday morning figures were actually in the crapper and the average rapper was rapidly losing his usefulness to the corporate suits aka the only reason he exists in madison Avenues eyes and therefore the only reason he exists in the public consciuosness.

Could Christian Porn Be The New Thing?

Today, rap is both just another thumbsucking commercial product masquerading as an art form, simply another failing industry like the U.S. car market or satellite radio under intense examination by corporate investors. Perhaps the late C. DeLores Tucker, who began railing against rap's "pornographic filth" in the early 1990s, was onto something after all, pornography sells but it needs a shitload of Jesus paradox in it, the way Mel Gibson’s movie, The Passion of Christ, is pornographic or the way Dick Cheney or Pat Robertson are pornographic.

Money Makes Everything Pornographic.

On Monday hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons, who just two weeks ago was arguing for the rights of rappers to express themselves as thumbsucking stooges of capital masquerading as artists behind enormous PR campaigns to buy off, belittle and destroy genuine art forms, did a seeming about-face and called for the voluntary banning of "bitch," "ho" and the N-word from the lexicon as "extreme curse words" after Oprah told his sorry ass if he ever called her a bitch she’d knock his fuckin’ ‘nigga ass’ any which way to Easter Sunday and sit on his face. Like the pussy that smells boycott of his shitty clothes and equally shitty HBO shows, he called for a coalition of industry executives to "recommend guidelines for lyrical and visual standards. I make thumbsucking shit. These folks will drop my ass in a minute if the arbiters of taste tell them too." Then the NAACP yesterday unveiled an initiative to halt racist and sexist imagery in the media, aimed at the record and television industries, recording artists and the African American community in other words to take what little pleasure there is in American popular culture, as tawdry as those pleasures are, and burn them in a big bonfire of the inanities. And tomorrow, in a belated benediction, a civil rights group will honor Tucker, the leader of the National Political Congress of Black Women who initiated a national and completely unsuccessful crusade against gangsta rap and gave Wall Street a chuckle when she took the recording industry to task for putting profits ahead of social responsibility.

Rap, facing sluggish record sales, is at an economic crossroads. A University of Chicago study released in February said that 62 percent of black teens think rap music videos are degrading to black women while 98% found nothing wrong in that.

Was veteran rapper Nas right when he paraphrased Friedrich Nietzsche with his now famous album title "Hip Hop Is Dead"? After Nietzsche was a world class misogynist too even though he brought a little more to the table artistically than all the rappers the world has produced from the beginning of time. And thank the god of lop-sided comparisons rap crappers were never hyped as philosophers by the shits at Warners.

"I don't see rap in a crisis," Simmons said yesterday. "These slumps happen every 10 years. People are blaming rap for all of society's ills and that’s going to cut into sales. Maybe, I should get into guns or advanced weapons systems and all that self-fulfilling prophecy shit. Whenever anybody uses one, everybody panics and feels they gotta buy more to protect themselves."

Simmons Led By His Nose

His call for the removal of the unholy trinity of rap insults came as a response to "public outrage and a looming boycott," of the wildly popular Russell Simmons Phat Farm Sleeveless Italian Tuxedo and matching NRO approved five carat nose ornament and tracking device he said, but he remains wary of encroachments on the First Amendment. "It's the potential for us to head off a nasty discussion that promotes censorship when there is money to be made. Oh yeah. And fuck that political censorship that the distraction the shit I put out there makes possible. I’m rich. Fuck social justice.”

Rappers, he said, are "going to need Madison Avenue, ignorant kids and Junior College professors to convince the public that the thumbsucking they do is poetry no matter what anyone who fuckin’ knows anything about poetry says." And the more hard-core the defenses of the Junior College professors are, the more a segment of the buying public that needs to be reassured that ignorance too can make claims on art are going to want it.

What’s Money Got To Do With It?

"I don't think any boycott is going to have a significant impact," Geoff Mayfield, director of charts at Billboard magazine, said of Simmons's bottom line fears and concerns. "A lot of broadcasters will be cautious anyway because folks can threaten to boycott their advertisers. I believe that those standards are already adhered to. I don't know how often you would hear the Bitch on the radio outside the Don Anus show and This Week In Dog Breeding. We know how to play the money game. We know when to scream free speech and when to snuff it out. That’s the capitalist game at its core. Isn’t it. And we designed pop culture to be the duplicitous little crack ho that it is to explicitly exploit any and every money making eventuality."

Neotony—When certain environmental conditions inhibit the completion of metamorphosis to maturity.

Stating the painfully obvious, in the music business, decisions are driven more by commerce than ethics, he added, and sales of unedited albums far surpass sales of the "clean" versions. "I don't see that changing. Its like gun control. And it never matters that it’s all shit. The fact that were selling neotonous thumbsucking product to the emotionally and intellectually retarded general population."

Tucker's boycotts of hard-core rap and the stores that sold it didn't stop the industry from churning out more and more explicit recordings because it was ineffective in slowing sales. Back then her quest seemed quixotic, schoolmarmish and finger-wagging. (On a 1999 release, Snoop Dogg mockingly dedicated his CD to the people "who say gangsta rap is dead: Fuck y'all.") While her efforts made headlines and seemingly pushed Warner Bros. to offload the Interscope label, gangsta acts such as Snoop, Tupac Shakur and 50 Cent sold well.

Some Call It History.

But the Anus incident recharged a debate that never really went away. "This is what you would call a perfect storm. Hip-hop was already going through a tough economic restructuring," said Davey D., a hip-hop cripple masquerading as a genuine historian and journalist in the San Francisco area. "The debate around hip-hop being dead brought on by slumping sales brought those canards to the forefront. Executives have grown weary and want to dump the dead wood."

Don Anus Looks Like He Oozed Out The Bottom Of That Hat.

To Tucker's husband, Anus's slur "brought about a revival of the struggle she waged, literally, by herself for the past 14 years -- she struggled against this, and speaking out against lyrics and how they demeaned and defamed women," said William Tucker, vice chairman of the Bethune-Dubois Institute, which is honoring his wife, who died in 2005.

“Everybody wants to aspire to poetry.”-Gregory Corso.

There was a time when the rap heard over commercial airwaves was hustled as an art form preoccupied with the issues of the day, from Melle Mel's haunting classic about ghetto life, "The Message," to Public Enemy's chanting "Fight the Power" but that was all a Madison Avenue canard. Even for the most devoted hip-hop heads much of rap is hard to take these days, given the same old beats and raggedy rhymes about pimping, loose women, guns and money. (So-called "conscious rap," as embodied by the likes of the Roots and Mos Def, remains forgotten in this debate because talkin’ bout tappin’ that ass actually makes mo’ money than capitalist realist revolution.)

"Rap is not perfect to hustle as an art form. I don't know what commercial thumbsucking form is," said Danyel Smith, editor in chief of Vibe magazine. "Rap gets a lot of blame, fairly and unfairly, for misogyny, poor spelling. Ignorance about mos’ everything and violence, while people tend to forget American cinema, for the last 100 years, not only has explicit misogyny and explicit violence in Technicolor but is about as ignorant and corporate cock sucking as anything even rap. Which frankly is what lot of rappers, gangsta and otherwise, are influenced by, the money that accrues to commercial shit."

The rap genre has been reeling commercially, with album sales plummeting by 87 percent between 2004 and 2006, according to Nielsen SoundScan. (Album sales across all thumbsucking commercial forms were down 11 percent for the same period.) The genre's free fall has continued this year, with album sales down by more than 33 percent during the first quarter, according to Nielsen SoundScan.

It's Far More 'Sic' Than 'Sick', Ignorant Than Offensive.

"Hip-hop is dog shit at this point. And when dog shit don’t earn no income, dog shit do stink. Records aren't selling and people are taking notice of the stink," said Felicia Palmer, editor of, a leading hip-hop site. "If I were a record label person, I'd use this as an opportunity to turn things around by taking the proactive approach and putting out a different type of product. If hip-hop is declining, it behooves us to bring it back to where it should be. . . . I'm glad this is happening and that the finger is being pointed back at us. Don Anus has taken a major fall, and he's not going down by himself."

The question of hip-hop's culpability in the Anus issue is one that some rap-industry figures appear reluctant to address. Label executives and radio programmers on both coasts repeatedly declined to comment for this article because Anus fucked up a big salary and the loss of that much revenue leaves the big business cunts speechless. Will the renewed focus on rap's responsibilities bring a revived attempt to reestablish the oxymoron of a capitalist realist rap masquerading as socially conscious? “Whatever’s gonna fuckin’ get me that new fuckin’ Lamborghini. If fuckin’ Mein Kampf would get me that fuckin’ Lamborghini, I’d fuckin’ hustle Hitler. Look what the fuckin’ New Testament has done for Hollywood.”

"We can't continue to embrace the 'Do as I say, not as I do' mind-set even if it works monetarily. . . . We need to turn the mirror back on ourselves and see if we're participatory in our oppression. But that won’t work with Madison Avenue. Those fucks don’t reflect an image in the mirror," said Asha Camille Jennings, a New York University law student who three years ago, while a student at Spelman College, organized a protest against Nelly for his negative images of black women, including a video depicting their bodies as credit card machines.

"It starts from within. Whether Snoop calls me a ho or Don Anus calls me a ho, I don't care," she said. "I'm tired of us blaming other people. They’re just trying to make a buck. Nobody held a gun up to 50 Cent's head and said, 'Call that woman a ho!' They held a fistful of dead presidents and said ‘calling that woman a “ho”’ is gonna make all us bitches rich, nigger. He wrote the lyrics and he presented it to the record label. They didn't say, 'I'm worried, you only said "ho" three times, I need more until it became apparent that each time he worked “ho” into one of his art songs it made ten million mo’ dollars fo’ the real “hos”.’"