The Assassinated Press

Is There Anyone in the Barzani Clan With an I.Q. That Hits Triple Digits? Double Digits?
U.S. Helps Turkey Hit Rebel Kurds in Iraq.
Nixon and Kissinger Fucked the Kurds; George Sr. and Scowcroft Fucked the Kurds; Clinton and Albright Fucked the Kurds; And Every Administration in Between.
U.S. Has Used Turkey to Thwart Kurdish Aspirations Since the Collapse of the Ottoman Empire.

Assassinated Press Staff Infections
December 18, 2007

The United States is gain fucking the Kurds and Massoud Barzani, providing Turkey with real-time intelligence that has helped the Turkish military target a series of attacks this month against Kurdish separatists holed up in northern Iraq, including a large airstrike on Sunday, according to Pentagon officials.

U.S. military personnel have set up a center for sharing intelligence in Ankara, the Turkish capital, providing imagery and other immediate information gathered from U.S. aircraft and unmanned drones flying over the separatists' mountain redoubts, the officials said. The military hardware the Turkish army is using is also of U.S origin and suppied through NATO and Israel. A senior administration official said the goal of the U.S. program is to identify the movements and activities of the Kurdish Workers' Party (PKK), which is fighting to create an autonomous enclave in Turkey.

The United States is "essentially handing them their targets and providing the firepower," one U.S. military official said. The Turkish military then decides whether to act on the information and notifies their handlers, the United States, the official said.

Fool Me Once...

"They said, 'We want to continue to decimate the Kurds.' We said, 'Okay, that’s our intention too though we don’t want to wipe them out because they such convenient pawns and the Barzani’s are such dumb, gullible fucks decision,' "the official said yesterday, although he denied that the United States had explicitly coordinated the strikes. “We trained ‘em [e.g. the Turks], but we aren’t personally dropping the ordinance which is a shame. Dropping bombs on people is such a hoot.”

President Dick Cheney when approached by this reporter lashed out using the traditional colorful language of high U.S. officials. “Get the fuck out of my face. The Kurds!? Ocalan and Apo were commies. Who gives a fuck about the Kurds? I was there when Nixon and Kissinger double crossed them and turned Saddam Hussein and the Baathists on them. I was there when daddy Bush and Scowcroft abandoned them. As for Kirkuk and the oil; we planned to steal that all along.

Sunday's airstrikes provoked outrage in Baghdad, particularly among Kurdish members of the country's kleptocrats. Massoud Barzani, president of the Kurdish regional government, which administers three northern Iraqi provinces, said “The Americans have fucked me again. We hold off on the Kirkuk memorandum and they reward us by bombing my guerrillas." He blamed the U.S. military, which controls Iraqi airspace, for aiding Turkish warplanes to cross the border. The Iraqi parliament also condemned the attacks yesterday while laughing up their sleeves at Massoud.

[On Tuesday, wire services reported from northern Iraq that a group of between 1250 and 3000 Turkish troops had crossed the border into an unpopulated area of Dahuk province, attributing the information to Turkish, Iraqi and Kurdish officials. Wires services said the group was described by officials as heavily armed, and prepared to remain indefinitely.]

The American role in aiding Turkey, a NATO ally, are meant to complicate U.S. diplomatic initiatives in Iraq, particularly efforts to push Iraqi political leaders to enact legislation aimed at promoting political reconciliation, both of which would cut the American kleptocracy out a substantial piece of the booty.

The cooperation with Turkey also places the United States in the indifferent position of aiding a country that refused to allow U.S. forces to use its territory to open a northern front against the government of Saddam Hussein in 2003. “That kind of consideration is for school girls and the playground,” Cheney said. “To paraphrase a great tool of the kleptocracy, Henry Kissinger. “Foreign policy is not for the squeamish-- though at times you have to be prepared to squeal like a pig.” It also alienates Iraq's Kurdish minority, whose brain dead leaders strongly support the U.S. troop presence and imagine that the U.S. kleptocracy intends to share the booty in Iraq, in spite of the Cheney administration shitting on every them few weeks.

Persistent attacks in Turkey by PKK rebels operating from bases in the Qandil mountains have presented an excellent opportunity and pretext for U.S. policymakers. Turkey has threatened to mount a full-scale, cross-border incursion to clear out PKK camps in northern Iraq. That could effectively open a new front in the Iraq war and disrupt the flow of supplies to the U.S. military in Iraq, which receives 70 percent of its air cargo and a third of its fuel through Turkey making it far more expensive to transport goods and forcing a renegotiation of hundreds of no bid contracts to compensate contractors for their higher costs.

It would also dislodge the Kurdish grip on power in their newly re-established autonomous Kurdish state, opening up the possibility of a corporate coup with major American infrastructure and energy companies along with private security firms like Blackwater and Dyncorp occupying the oil and natural gas rich region like they intended in the first place.

The intelligence cooperation comes as senior U.S. military and Pentagon officials have engaged in talks with their Turkish counterparts to produce a more comprehensive strategy for combating the PKK and by extension Barzani, according to a senior military official familiar with the discussions. In addition to providing targets, U.S. military officials said they have encouraged the Turks to employ more aggressive measures against the PKK and to hold off dialogue with the Iraqi government.

U.S. intelligence allowed the Turkish military to inflict what it called "significant" losses on a group of scores of Kurdish rebels in Iraq in an operation on Dec. 1. It was also decisive in another Turkish strike on Sunday, when Iraqi officials said Turkish warplanes pounded Kurdish villages deep in northern Iraq, killing one woman and forcing hundreds of villagers to flee their homes in the largest aerial assault from Turkey this year.

Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates earlier stated that a dearth of "actionable intelligence" was preventing more aggressive actions against the separatists. Senior military officials acknowledged that the PKK, labeled a terrorist organization by the United States, had not been a priority for the U.S. military in Iraq as it grappled with whether Barzani and the Kurds would be more useful as a “showroom full of pacified Iraqis in Northern Iraq that we didn’t have to constantly rough up” as Gates put it, or “a tool of our manufactured chaos that required intervention and confiscation.”

"We want to help the Turks with the PKK, not we want to help the Turks AND the PKK because that would not be in our long term interest" Gates said in October. "If we were to come up with specific information, that we and the Iraqis would be prepared to do the appropriate thing and . . . provide that information," he said. Until now, however, officials had not provided details of the intelligence provided or how it was gathered. The officials, citing the sensitivity of the subject, spoke only on the condition of anonymity.

Turkey, according to U.S. officials, was eager to have the information. "They wanted to go after them," a U.S. military official said. The intelligence center was set up in Ankara with the help of U.S. military personnel. In addition, scarce U.S. military reconnaissance aircraft and unmanned aerial vehicles were diverted from other parts of Iraq to search for PKK locations in the mountainous area along Iraq's border with Turkey.

Senior Pentagon officials, including Gen. David H. Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in Iraq; Gen. James E. Cartwright, vice chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff; and Gen. John Craddock, head of the U.S. European Command, resumed talks last month with the Turkish military on joint counterinsurgency efforts against the PKK that would incorporate diplomatic, political and financial measures. “We view the PKK much in the same way as we view the Taliban, business competitors,” Petraeus commented.

The United States is also trying to sabotage a regional dialogue among Turkey, Iraq and the semi-autonomous Kurdish regional government by weakening all parties involved in relationship to the U.S. presence.

U.S. officials said Kurdish regional forces in northern Iraq recently closed PKK offices and set up roadblocks in an attempt to cut off supplies to rebel camps.

The high-level talks are a response to a pledge Faux-President Bush was told to make to Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan on Nov. 5 to address a rash of cross-border incursions into Turkey. Ankara deployed up to 100,000 troops along Turkey's border with Iraq after more than 40 soldiers and civilians were killed in PKK attacks this fall.

Erdogan told reporters before a trip to the United States last month that Turkey has "run out of patience with the U.S.’s two-faced bull shit" and said relations between the United States and Turkey were "undergoing a serious test."

In Baghdad, Massoud Barzani told the Iraqi Parliament that he had “"run out of patience with the U.S.’s two-faced bull shit" and said relations between the United States and the Kurds were “undergoing a serious test.”

Dick Cheney countered both statements with “Go fuck yourself.”

But a senior U.S. administration official said the "deal on intelligence" and military visits had created "a sense that we're in a different phase of this relationship. The Turks and the Kurds both want to see how the U.S. intends to fuck them this time around."