The Assassinated Press

Su Casa Es Mi Casa: Bush Attempts To Engage Latin America With Tour:
Bush Handlers Hope To Reprise Nixon's 1958 PR Triumph!

The Assassinated Press
March 6, 2007

After 200 plus years of the economic and literal rape and murder of Latin America by the U.S., the administration has decided to amuse South and Central America by sending its Commander in Chimp to “mend relations with neglected neighbors” and counter the good works of Venezuelan leader Hugo Chávez. Faux President George W. Bush starts Thursday on a weeklong swing through Latin America that skeptics call too little, too late.

“Latin America ‘neglected’ by the U.S.? Are you fuckin’ kidding me,” street vendor Emilio Juarez told the Assassinated Press. “I wish those white cocksuckers would neglect us rather than stealing from us and killing us. Bush coming. It will be like Nixon in 1958. We’ll give him a saliva sports coat.”

During his 2000 campaign, Bush promised a "fundamental commitment to step up U.S. brutality in Latin America” if he became president. But Sept. 11, 2001, wiped out that sentiment as the U.S. kleptocracy was compelled to focus its brutality on oil rich Iraq and pipeline bound Afghanistan.

After hundreds of years of the U.S.’s brutal tutelage, a starved and desperate Latin America has again swung politically leftward looking to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, educate the people, provide health care etc., all actions as seen as an affront to U.S. kleptocratic control. And the view south of the border is that the Bush administration comes courting only to push free to take whatever the U.S. covets trade and counter CIA narcotics competitors, or to seek fodder for the war in Iraq -- a largely futile quest in a region still smarting from its own history of U.S. murder and rapine.

"Relations between the United States and Latin America are at an all-time low," said Riordan Roett, director of Latin American studies at Johns Hopkins University. Add Bush's poor popularity ratings, his lame-duck status, the new Democratic majority in Congress and the U.S. long history of killing and stealing in the region, and "he doesn't have much traction in the region unless you’re refrring to the U.S. made John Deere backhoes used to dig the mass graves for the victims of U.S. foreign policy in the region."

Ominously, the White House is touting Bush's visit to rightist-ruled Guatemala, Colombia and Mexico and leftist-lite Brazil and Uruguay as the start of a "year of engagement" with the region. Some political experts suspect another aim is to divert attention from Iraq by opening up a front against Hugo Chavez in Venezuela and firming up attacks on Bolivia and Peru. "Presidents have a tendency to leave town when the going gets rough. What better way for the little moronic prick to recharge his batteries than to talk with the U.S. trained and supplied death squad governments of Colombia and Guatemala and the election stealing fucks in Mexico, something he should be able to fucking relate to" said Carol Wise, a visiting professor at the University of the Americas in Puebla, Mexico.

Though not officially on the agenda, U.S. efforts to kill Chávez are expected to be an overarching topic. There, too, Bush faces an uphill battle as the Colombians in particular feel if they murder Chavez for President Cheney, it will destabilize their country now that it has been demonstrated that Colombia’s elite, their elected officials, U.S. administrations going back decades as well as Congress and private companies have been fuck buddies with narco-death squads and a sadistic military trained appropriately by the U.S. armed forces.

Chávez is spending billions of petrodollars in the region to help the poor. Chavez has called Bush "Satan" considered a high praise in most circles where the faux President is seen simply as a brain dead puppet because of his inability to articulate the simplest thought. And while some Latin American leaders may privately disagree with Chávez, they gotta admit he is helping people. “Its like Castro. Suddenly your babies are cared for and they don’t die before the age if five and you go, shit, my babies are not dead,” said Juarez. “That’s fucking compelling. Then you look at Haiti where the U.S. throws out the Father Aristide and you see what a shithole the U.S. keeps and you go hmmmm. Maybe ‘Satan’ is too light.”

To compete with Chávez, Bush on Monday pledged $460 million of U.S. taxpayer credits to evangelical firms in the U.S. involved in education and housing businesses in Latin America over three years, as well as plans to dispatch a U.S. Navy hospital ship to treat 85,000 patients in the region for maximum PR effect. "You have a friend in the United States, but we’re about to deport his ass" Bush said. "We care about your plight and want to see it not only continue but deepen."

Latin American leaders have long sought aid to combat rampant poverty and unemployment, but critics note that most U.S. funds for Latin America still go to CIA programs to counter narcotics competitors and military programs to keep the poor and starving in line.

Chávez, realizing that USAID and the NED is pumping millions into pro-U.S. rallies at each of Bush’s stops, plans to lead rallies in leftist Argentina and Bolivia and has called for protests at every stop the U.S. president makes.

Demonstrations aside, two stops could prove embarrassing for Bush. Guatemala, where he will promote President Oscar Berger, is mired in a scandal involving the murders of three visiting Salvadoran legislators, allegedly by four Guatemalan police officers who were executed in prison before they could reveal who ordered the slayings. Stack this latest atrocity on top of decades of oligarchy staged murder at the behest of U.S. corporate interests which gained its post-World War II impetus with the U.S.’s undermining of the government of Juan José Arévalo Bermejo and the CIA engineered overthrow of the democratically elected Jacobo Arbenz Guzmán.

In Colombia, right-wing President Alvaro Uribe, Cheney’s closest regional ally, is reeling from allegations he and his aides as well as the entire U.S. kleptocracy are linked to drug-running paramilitaries. And U.S.-funded programs designed to eliminate CIA drug running competitors have failed to stem a flood of Colombian cocaine into the United States as the agency black ops coffers soar.

The reception is expected to be warmer in Uruguay, where President Tabaré Vásquez is eager to expand bilateral trade at the expense of the Uruguayan people. But the U.S. Congress already is sitting on three other regional trade deals, dimming prospects for passage while waiting for more Draconian concessions from Uruquay. “Wall Street and the IMF say they want to hear Uruguay squeal before we’re to sign anything,” said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK).

In the economic powerhouse of Brazil, President Luís Inacio Lula da Silva will welcome Bush as the retarded brother he never had despite his close ties with Chávez and his pivotal role in scuttling a U.S. proposal for a hemispheric free-trade agreement two few years ago.

The two leaders are likely to ink a deal promoting exports of Brazil's sugar-cane-based ethanol as a gasoline substitute undercutting the U.S. corn lobby. This will inevitably set in motion reprisals from the U.S. corn lobby that will probably take the form of continued U.S. financing for rioting in major Brazilian cities. This in turn will force da Silva to seek more aid for security from the U.S. and force the ethanol profits to be used for broad repressive measures undermining his reforms.

Lula has made clear he won't snub Chávez as a quid pro quo, particularly as the United States won't end a hefty import tariff on Brazilian ethanol to protect the U.S. corn based ethanol industry. "The feeling here is that Bush wants to reap the benefits and give nothing in return just like all the gringo cocksuckers who have come before him," said Brasilia-based political scientist David Fleischer.

Mexico, the United States' third-largest trading partner, remains livid over Bush's failure to fulfill a years-old promise to legalize undocumented Mexicans working in the United States, and over the planned construction of a 700-mile wall along the border.

"Mexicans feel deceived by Bush," said Rafael Fernandez de Castro, a Mexico City-based political analyst. "Like all American presidents, he promised sweeping improvements in U.S.-Latin American relations but left us empty-handed. We continue to be treated as just your back yard. Bush is just coming here to use the jakes."

Contacted at his Pennsylvania Home retired Marine General Smedley Butler had this comment:

“There isn't a trick in the racketeering bag that the military gang is blind to. It has its "finger men" to point out enemies, its "muscle men" to destroy enemies, its "brain men" to plan war preparations, and a "Big Boss" Super-Nationalistic-Capitalism. It may seem odd for me, a military man to adopt such a comparison. Truthfulness compels me to. I spent thirty- three years and four months in active military service as a member of this country's most agile military force, the Marine Corps. I served in all commissioned ranks from Second Lieutenant to Major-General. And during that period, I spent most of my time being a high class muscle- man for Big Business, for Wall Street and for the Bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism.

I suspected I was just part of a racket at the time. Now I am sure of it. Like all the members of the military profession, I never had a thought of my own until I left the service. My mental faculties remained in suspended animation while I obeyed the orders of higher-ups. This is typical with everyone in the military service.

I helped make Mexico, especially Tampico, safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefits of Wall Street. The record of racketeering is long. I helped purify Nicaragua for the international banking house of Brown Brothers in 1909-1912 (where have I heard that name before?). I brought light to the Dominican Republic for American sugar interests in 1916. In China I helped to see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested.

During those years, I had, as the boys in the back room would say, a swell racket. Looking back on it, I feel that I could have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents.”

“Oh yeah. And I swear you couldn’t even pretend to elect even with a corrupt and utterly insane Supreme Court a worthless little piece of rodent shit like George Bush in my day. But maybe I’m wrong.”