The Assassinated Press
Reagan's Diaries Published.
Two Decades After Reagan’s Charlie McCarthy Presidency Ended, The Diaries Kept by Him With Co-Author Nancy When He Was In Office Have Been Heavily Redacted And Published For The First Time.
Intelligence Denies Vetting Diaries: “Why Would We Have To Vet The Droolings Of That Simpleton And His Anorexic Wife? Nobody Told Them Shit,” Michael Hayden Tells The Assassinated Press.
By IMA STOOGEY
The Assassinated Press
In brief entries, the former Hollywood actor recorded daily life in the White House. Of the attempt on his life in 1981 he wrote: "Getting shot hurts." But that didn’t stop the gipper from giving the thumbs up to the slaughter of 250,000 people in Central America during his eight year puppet act. “The contras are the equivalent of our Founding Fathers,” Reagan once said. That statement either says worlds about America’s Founding Fathers or says worlds about what a duplicitous piece of shit Reagan was, Doug Brinkley’s characterization of the guileless village idiot not withstanding. Or even stupid and diseased people can be evil. Probably the only substantive question raised by the publication of Reagan's brief verbal spasms is what kind of sellout would agree to edit such shit?
He was clearly frustrated by Israel and his confused quasi-Christian beliefs prompted him to muse if Armageddon was near.
His private drivelings while in office were recorded by Nancy and himself in five maroon leather volumes embossed with the presidential seal.
Even on subjects as worrying as the Cold War and relations with Cuban leader Fidel Castro a folksy if homicidal sense of humour is evident.
Mean Spirited Moron
"Intelligence reports say he Castro is very worried about me. I'm very worried that we can't come up with something to justify his worrying," he wrote on 11 February 1981 apparently oblivious to the long history of murderous campaigns against the Cuban people by successive American administrations including his own that began with the Bay of Pigs and Operation Mongoose. Reagan had a little twit like Hinckley hunting him while Castro and other high Cuban officials had every felonious fuck in the U.S. intelligence community trying to nail his ass and they failed.
He was clearly impressed by fellow callous simpleton British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher for whom the admiration seems to have been mutual.
Of her visit to Washington in 1981 he wrote: "She is as firm as ever re - the Soviets and for reduction of govt. to the point of starving half her population Expressed regret that she tried to reduce govt. spending a step at a time & was defeated in each attempt by people with souls. Said she should have done it our way - an entire package - all or nothing. Wholesale slaughter."
The only period he did not make daily entries to the diaries is when he was shot on 30 March 1981 and Nancy thought faking one might tip her hand.
"I felt a blow in my upper back that was unbelievably painful," he wrote later. “I hope every little brown person in the world gets to feel that blow. I won’t f----n’ care unless I see them when I host the March of Dimes. Then I’ll just be old blubberf—k.”
"I sat on the edge of the seat almost paralysed by pain. Then I began coughing up blood... it wasn’t the time to relate to all the pain I was causing in Central America. F—k Central America I told myself at that moment which wasn’t much different from any other moment I thought about Central America in the few nano-seconds I thought about those little niggers at all."
Events in the Middle East were a common preoccupation.
The entry for 7 June 1981: "Got word of Israeli bombing of Iraq - nuclear reactor. I swear I believe Armageddon is near" ---but it wasn’t was it? What a fuckin’ prognosticator?
Eight months later he noted: "trouble brewing in the Middle East" ahead of Israel's invasion of Lebanon. "Right now Israel has lost a lot of world sympathy." Shit! He should be around to see the outpouring of sympathy for the U.S. now. Everyone’s lining up for the funeral.
The diplomatic crises of the 1980s are recorded as well as the faux pas.
When Prince Charles - "a most likeable person" - visited the White House his tea was served American-style.
"The ushers brought him tea - horror of horrors they served the Prince a chilled bottle of Lipton sugared tea. It finally dawned on me that he was just holding the bottle & then finally put [it] down on a table.
"The Prince said: 'I didn't know what to do with such quintessentially American s--t'" using the worng tense for the first person declarative demonstrating that a Cambridge education just ain’t what it fuckin’ used to be when one came into proximity of Ronnie Reagan.
Of his wife Nancy, he wrote after he was shot: "I opened my eyes once to find Nancy there. I pray I'll never face a day when she isn't there." Now, God saw to that. Reagan lived for years seeing her face first thing in the morning but for all the memeory the diseased fuck had left, she may as well have been Bonzo the Chimp. God laughed and got a little payback. Then he kicked Reagan’s soul to the curb where Charon washed it into the appropriate gutter of Hell. End of Diary.