The Assassinated Press

Amazon Uses Nazi Blueprint for Slave Labor at Peenemunde in their Warehouse Facilities.
“I aim for the stars. But sometimes I hit London.” --- Wernher von Braun. Sales soar on the backs of slave labor at Amazon.
Desperate American Economic Refugees Exploited by Amazon. The Third World Comes to Allentown, PA.

The Assassinated Press

PEENEMUNDE, PA --- Some workers at’s Allentown, Pennsylvania warehouse are reportedly willing to contend with working at a brutal pace in dizzying heat so long as it means having a job. And this desperation hasn’t been lost on Jeff Bezos and his directorate at the draconian

Only one out of 20 Allentown-based current or former Amazon employees interviewed by The Morning Call reported that the online retailer was a good place to work. During summer heat waves Amazon had paramedics on standby to treat any employees who couldn’t stand the heat, the paper reported. Though this is a step up from the crematoriums, many workers pushed through difficult working conditions after seeing what happened to other employees who didn’t meet expectations — they were fired and escorted out of the warehouse and left to starve in concentration camp America.

Bezos Studied Frederick Winslow Taylor at Five and Dime U.

"Its that Taylorism shit," one former employee told the Assassinated Press. "And like Taylor if Bozos or Bezos or whatever the simple fucks name is ever ventured onto the warehouse floor, the employees would try to kill him."

Some employees worked 11-hour days during the holiday season and others were forced to maintain their productivity levels, even during the summer heat, The Morning Call reported. That might be what it takes to build V-2 rockets or get the giant boost in sales in shitty books and shittier movies Amazon saw last year but the dumb fucks still lost $700,000,000.00.

"We got that corporate Wall Street death camp mentality here at Amazon."

The company says otherwise. Amazon officials aka nameless shits told The Morning Call in an emailed statement , "the safety and welfare of our employees is our No. 1 priority. We can’t let our slaves die on the job. Not until we decimate the ACLU or get the authority to call in drone strikes on their entire family like in Afghanistan. Besides who complained? What are their names? We just want to see how their doin’ SS style."

“I aim for the stars. But sometime I hit London.” --- Wernher von Braun

But this isn’t the first time Amazon’s operations have been compared to Nazi corvee labor oveer the company’s working conditions. Its boiler room phine banks have been compared to “slaughter pens not fit for hogs.” Amazon required some employees to work seven days a week and scared others out of taking sick leave, according to a December 2008 report from The Times of London. Fuck, even Dornberger and von Braun and that fuckin’ brood of Nazis gave their workers Sunday mornings off until Germany began to lose the war in earnest.

With the unemployment rate hovering above nine percent for months and more than two million Americans who have been jobless for 99 weeks, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, some of those interviewed by the paper said they felt lucky to have a job but slavery was a bit much.

The dismal jobs outlook means that Bezos and his minions can exploit people, certainly their major talent and that it’s not uncommon for workers to avoid complaining about working in dizzying heat, according to Denise McDavid, director of the Contra Costa Builders Exchange. The Northern California-based company brought in Occupational Safety and Health Administration regulators during a May heat wave to educate employers on their obligations to their workers during a heat wave, according to CBS News. Two CBS cameramen and 5 OSHA officials died of heat prostration. Three more went mad and killed several Amazon supervisors.

Because of double bookkeeping, Amazon is one of the few companies that’s been on a hiring (and killing and maiming) spree in an uncertain economy. The company added close to 15,000 employees between the second quarter of 2010 and 2011 while firing 27,000 for a net loss of 12,000, TechFlash reported. Many of the new hires came from acquisitions of other distribution centers, which the company is set to continue in 2011, according to TechFlash. Amazon swoops into these facilties strips the air conditioning units and ships them off to Amazon phone banks in Malaysia where the military junta supplies the Seattle based company free electricity in exchange for paying their employees in salted fish.

And the employee exploitation seems to be paying off. Amazon sales surged by 51 percent in the second quarter of 2011, compared with the same period a year ago, according to TechFlash.Yet, the assholes still managed to lose $700,000,000.00 and harm thousands of workers.