“A WELL REGULATED MILITIA, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” WHAT PART OF REGULATED MILITIA DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, NRA ASSHOLES?

The Assassinated Press

NRA wants to turn school masscare into WPA style jobs program.
Now your gunman won’t have to make a special trip to the school to gun down your children, HE’LL WORK THERE!!
300,000 to 400,000 thousand new guards needed from the ranks of high school dropouts as security guards fatten portfolios of Wackenhut, Dyncorp and the Koch Brothers.
Could the NRA become constitutional and be “well regulated?”
If the assholes at the NRA claim you can defend yourself with firearms, why have they asked for extra police protection Defend yourselves, you motherfucking cowards.

The Assassinated Press

All we hear is that there’s no money for public education. Besides the teachers stink. And they earn too much money because they are unionized.

Let’s turn all the schools into private charter schools so the Koch brothers can see an obscene return on their investment lobbying.

Let's eliminate teachers and increase class size. Let's replace the teachers with armed guards. Non-union. Unions don't make you rich enough to get away with eteranl criminality like the Kochs. You earn just enough to make you a target of people who earn 1000 times what you do backed up by the yahoos who earn as much.

And as intended since our schools don't educate many of the little fuckers, we’ll make him a security guard in the same system that beat him into the dead end minimum wage job to begin with. Fuckin’ brilliant if your suffering from a syphilitic dementia or a Walter LaPierre or a Koch brother or more likely both. Right up the corporate food chain ya gotta ask “what have these people been fucking. Or what's been fucking them.”

Oh, the guards would be volunteers. Even fucking better. What could go wrong?

Murder is for Gun Lovers.

Clearly, the problem with the NRA, the Koch brothers and gunowners in general is sexual. I’m not going all Freudian on ya now, but its obvious that these gun lovers cannot distinguish a rifle barrel from a stick of butter, the proverbial ‘guns and butter’ being tangled up with making a dollar on both.

Guns and Butter.

You can lube a Koch brothers ass with a stick of warm butter before you stick a load of monkey dick in it or a gun barrel or both. In fact as any Koch brother will tell ya, the buuert is desirable. Or perhaps Grey Poupon because it has that slight bite of horse radish and blends in better if you're shriveled old white boy. And its name strikes the right chords.

A. Sounds like you've tried it.
B: Yeah, I used your mommas old recipe.

But in their rush for the instant gratification that money provides them, more oftern than not a Koch brother will shove a rifle barrel up his ass without the benefit of ‘Land o’ Lakes’ or Grey Poupon. This chafes the tender little star chamber of their pink white asses. Thus, they become gruff, murderous, corporate golem and remain so until the corporate syphilis that drives their perverse thoughts puts them in the grave since no gunowner has the guts to save all of our chidren and knock off these fuckers.

Likewise NRA owners. They forget to lube before they take it up the ass. This allows the monkey syphillis carried on the gun barrels to more easily penetrate tender, torn anal flesh and enter the bloodstream.

This accounts for the simian nature of gunowner’s thoughts. Call it Planet of the Gun Barrel Rapes.

What about celebrity armed hall monitors?

Why not require that all of the movie stars, gunmakers, gunsellers, arms merchant, arms makers, policy maker, policy wonk, corporations and banksters, private security firms, violent video game makers etc. volunteer as armed hall monitors to guard our schools?

Get Bruce Willis’s and Charles Koch’s creamy white asses in the hallways Monday, Wednesday and Friday to help prevent the murderous enviromanet confronting our children that assholes like them create.

Then we can do the same fucking thing in Afghanistan. We can have volunteer hall monitors at Afghan schools protect the Afghani children, mostly boys, from US military strikes.

And since guns don’t kill people, people do, why not have inner city gang members as armed hall monitors since the conditions created by prison industrial complex and greedy corporate fucks like the Koch brothers tells us and them that they aren’t human anyfuckingway.

Arrest a gang member and let Dyncorp put him in one of your schools at eleven cents an hour with an assault rifle. I guarantee your monkey ass that the result will be the same as some Dyncorp or Wakenhut minimum wage slave or disgruntled volunteer.

If the assholes at the NRA claim you can defend yourself with firearms, why have they asked for extra police protection.

Then do we get to string LaPierre and his wife up at a lamppost and burn their bodies?