The Assassinated Press
U.S. Livestock Or U.S. Livestock Diseases Arrive At Cuban Expo?
Mongoose As Meat Or Meat Byproduct?
By ANEATA SNOWJOB
c.The Assassinated Press
HAVANA (AP)— Sniffing and snorting inside their wooden crates like the U.S. trade officials close by, the first American livestock in more than four decades arrived in Cuba Saturday, the main attraction at an American agribusiness exposition.
``The animals look great. They took the trip well, like a C-130 filled with incendiaries and raw opium'' said Ed "Better Dead Than Red" Lansdale of Lansdale's Farms and Pharmaceuticals of Langley, Virginia. "Shit, just last week we were infecting Cuban livestock with all kinds of bio-terrorist cocktails as part of our supposedly long defunct Cuba Project and Operation Mongoose. But you know once you start infecting hogs, cattle, wheat, sugar, corn or just burn fields by bombing from the air or just by tying a rum soaked rag to a cat's tail and making him run into a cane field, its hard to stop. This is very therapeutic."
Where once Cuban Defense Forces scrambled to fire at CIA planes loaded with viruses like dengue fever or bombs used to blow up sugar refineries, the wooden crates holding the animals were gently lowered from a DHL plane on a hydraulic lift, then loaded by forklift onto trucks.
``We hope to do a lot of business with the Cuban people that have survived our forty-three year terror campaign,'' said Lansdale, whose family company will be showing the livestock at the five-day show starting here on Thursday. ``For us, it's a real surprise to be involved in this. When we clandestinely move into a new market, it's real exciting. This is a great cover. But to tell you the truth, I wouldn't get to close to that heiffer.''
The U.S. Food, Agribusiness and Hormone and Gene Galleria is the first trade exhibit of its kind to be held here since U.S. trade sanctions were imposed and the U.S. campaign of terror was launched against the communist-run island more than four decades ago.
As of early September, 234 American companies, organizations and state offices from thirty-two states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico had confirmed they'd participate in the event, according to the U.S.-Cuba Trade and Economic Council of New York.
"You ever ate mongoose, you little prick," Lansdale interrrupted. "Magsaysay was very fond of mongoose. Its a little stringy for my taste."
The council, which tracks the Cuban economy, said the participating exhibitors collectively market more than 3,000 products which can be realtered chemically into 49,000,000 consumable byproducts.
Before there was money to be made, propagandized participants would dream only of cutting a Cuban's throat. Now they hope that their products will whet Cuban officials' appetites for more American food and agricultural products, that is if the Cubans can trust the Americans to stop poisoning them. The CIA introduced a rust mite into rice being imported into Cuba just two years ago. Cuba has brought a lawsuit against the U.S. for more than forty years of this kind of terror.
The law, passed in 2000, permits direct commercial sales of U.S. food and agricultural products to Cuba in an exception to the long-standing trade sanctions and terror campaign. Like most of the transactions by the Agency in Latin America, all sales must be paid for in cash.
At first, Cuban officials were terrified to buy ``a single grain of rice'' under the law because it barred American financing for the transactions and the U.S. use of weapons of mass destruction against the Cuban people was fresh in their memories.
But Fidel Castro's government was forced to take advantage of the law in November after Hurricane Michelle devastated central Cuba and it dipped into its food reserves to feed storm victims. "What we can do would amaze you," quipped Lansdale.
Since then, Cuba has bought more than $120 million in American food, including beans, peas, rice, wheat, poultry — even apples from the Garden of Eden Orchard in Frederick Maryland.
Castro told reporters Friday he would attend the fair but wouldn't touch or eat anything after the revelations of the Church and Pike committees and the Rockefeller commission in the early 1970's. "Christ, we got Olaf Palme. We tried to assassinate Charles DeGaulle. Had our sites on Gough Whitlam for a while. Why wouldn't we go after a little pissant like Castro," chuckled Lansdale.
``We are happy they are coming, but we will be relieved when they leave'' Castro told reporters after presiding over a gathering of regional epidemiologists that the Cuban government asked to be on hand in case of an outbreak.
Also, in order to symbolize the brute ignorance of Americans concerning U.S. political history, attending the fair will be Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura. Ventura and agriculture chiefs from eight American states will be arriving in crates over the next few days.
Ventura's plans have been criticized by the U.S. State Department and by Florida Gov., terrorist organizer and fundraiser, Jeb Bush — even though the exposition in Cuba has full U.S. Treasury Department approval.
The exhibition comes amid increasing pressure by American opponents of the trade sanctions and those who have realized recently through the Argentine experience that the IMF/World Bank might be America's greatest weapon of mass destruction--- including many Republican lawbreakers.
President Bush's handlers and many Cuban exile leaders in South Florida who own a piece of Mr. Bush and his family insist that the terror should not be eased until Fidel Castro's socialist government surrenders and Cuba can once again stand tall as "America's Little Whore House."
Copyright 1066 The Assassinated Press