The Assassinated Press

US, UN, NATO Gets Its Dirty War in Syria.
With Mild Washington Summer Comes Pleasant News of More Bloodshed in Middle East, North Africa.
Sad Xenophobic Hick, Jim Breuer, Makes Transition from Mere Asshole to Kleptocratic Asset.

The Assassinated Press

Thereís a spring in the step of the average Washington kleptocrat these days. Not only can he go to the public trough whenever he loses a bet on the latest Wall Street nag, but the Middle East and North Africa is in flames and that spells big bucks.

Hand tailored $5500.00 Anderson & Sheppard suits and $2000.00 Stefano Bemer shoes abound on K Street where I work and in the dining suites of US arms makers and security firms. Well- greased congressmen are beaming and lobbyists and AIPAC are scheming how to expand the war to Iran over a bottle of La Tache and an appetizer of tagliolini truffles. Itís their patriotic duty to make money even as for the rest of us our mandate goes little beyond dying so those kleptocratic coffers can remain full.

Still itís refreshing to see so many smiling faces in Washington these days. With the advent of new technologies such as drones and Google, death has never been so economical to produce. With high unemployment and college beyond the reach of most young Americans, fodder has never been cheaper to exploit.

Perfect economic synergies abound. Too big to fail. Arm a third world nation and then attack it for having arms. Sell them old shit, so a kleptocratic victory is assured. Destabilize a country then exploit that instability by fostering all out war.

For example Syria. Even the pro-war Washington Post recently reported this:

ďThe rebels say they are acquiring access to ammunition and funding that had been in short supply a few months ago, streamlining their structures to improve coordination and steadily eroding the governmentís capacity to control large swaths of the country.Ē

Of course, there has never been a shortage of money. Itís just that Uncle Slimey controlled the spigot slowly moving from LIC and staged massacres to all out war when those measures proved ineffective.

China and Russia, like most of the worldís four year olds, can see right through the US ruse. Itís only been implemented by Uncle Slimey several hundred times before since WWII.

Like Sudan, Somalia, Syria or our new trading partner and friend, Vietnam, itís easy to lie about US involvement. The media like the Post thrives on lying. The lies are where the money is.

Is this what the American public senses when they support such lies? That tharís money in them thar Capitol Hills and K Street canyons. Nah. Thatís be giving the public too much credit. They ainít seeing a dime of that s#@t.