The Assassinated Press

The Washington Post Calls U.S. Armed Forces Nazi's:
Cheney Administration Seeks Resignation of Post Editorial Board

The Assassinated Press 3/16/03

Washington, DC--- Washington Post readers were stunned to wake up Sunday morning and read one of the premier organs of the corporate state compare U.S. forces to the Nazis.

"I spit out my latte right there in Starbucks," said long time arms lobbyist, Bob Boeing. "I couldn't believe my eyes!"

Right there in a center front page article titled "Audacious Mission, Awesome Risks: Bold War Plan Emphasizes Lightning Attacks and Complex Logistics," by Rick Atkinson and Thomas E. Ricks, the Post foreign service reporters and their editors go out of there way to label U.S. forces as Nazis. On page A16 they write; "The other major fear [after stirring the bogie of chemical and biological weapons] is that U.S. Forces could be bogged down in an urban battle that could turn Baghdad into a modern Stalingrad---a possibility that has resulted in some troops here being issued battle axes and battering rams."

The reference is clearly to the Nazi's 900 day siege of Soviet forces and the civilian population at Stalingrad during World War II. The Post is clearly comparing the Iraqis to the heroic Soviets and U.S. forces to the German Nazi Army. It bears repeating that the Soviet forces and civilian population at Stalingrad, who represent the Iraqis in the Post analogy, suffered 1,250,000 casualties while the Nazi's, who the Post is clearly comparing to U.S. forces, had 147,000 killed and 91,000 taken prisoner.

Further, the very title of the article and the description of U.S. strategy is worded to make that strategy sound like the Nazi tactic of Blitzkrieg or "lightning war." In fact, the sub-headline on page A16 reads "LIGHTNING ATTACKS, Complex Logistics Pose Huge Risks."

Washington Post senior editors tried to explain away the name calling by blaming the Cheney/Bush administration. "Shit! Oops! We're all getting sloppy. The Cheney/PNAC guys have tried all manner of lies and bribes to get this Iraqi killing thing off the ground and when you get up every morning and you have to write in support of their lies, you begin to lose your moorings. But we think the American people would resent the truth that it's about the oil and the control of the region a near monopoly on that resource would provide. Why they aren't more willing to kill for oil like we are at the Post, I don't know. They guzzle enough of the fuckin' stuff. I think the folks in the heartland need a reality check."

When asked about the Post piece, Secretary of War, Don Rumsfeld said, "I don't mind being called a Nazi and I don't think a lot of our boys do either. Hitler had one well oiled war machine except for the synthetic oil that is. You see, folks, that's one mistake we're not gunna make."

White House Chief of Stink, Karl Rove, added, "This administration has looked to the example of the Nazis a lot. My whole career is predicated on a retooling of Goebbel's Big Lie. I can't help but think the Bush's like me because I remind them of old Grandpa Prescott with his ties to Nazi banks and manufacturers."

The Cheney/Bush administration immediately called for the resignation of the Post's entire editorial board. "This really hurts," said President de facto, Dick Cheney, "After all the money we've made together."

The Washington Post issued this statement; "Acting like a Nazi doesn't make you one even when all of your actions remind the average person of the Nazis from issues of civil liberties to the conduct of war. In the future, we at the Post will resume our practice of reserving the Hitler title for little tin pot dictators like Khaddafi, Noriega or Saddam Hussein. We regret that in a rare moment of truth, we in essence called the Cheney/Bush war machine Nazis. But even we have trouble avoiding the facts when you have to pick your way down the garden path which has become so strewn with this administration's bullshit."

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