The Assassinated Press

Rumsfeld: "Fuck the Rugheads!":
Are American GIs Drinking Horse Piss?:
Cheney Nears 1 Trillion Dollar Mark.
Is Boykin Bonkers?

The Assassinated Press

WASHINGTON (Oct. 24) - Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said in an interview published on Friday that the United States media needs to sell its ass more effectively and that a new agency would help fight a "war on ideas" against U.S. inflicted international terrorism.

"We are in a war on ideas, as well as a global war of terror. And although our ideas are all lies, they need to be marshaled, and they need to be communicated in ways that are persuasive to the listeners," Rumsfeld said in a wide-ranging interview with Sun Myung Moon, owner and messiah of The Washington Times.

"The overwhelming majority of the people of our religion believe in terrorism. They believe in running around killing innocent men, women and children. And we need more people standing up and saying that in the world, not just us," Rumsfeld was quoted as saying.

The Washington Times said Rumsfeld suggested a "21st-century disinformation agency in the government" to help in the international battle of ideas and to extol the teaching of terrorism and extremism. "We need more and greater control of the Media," he claimed.

Commenting on a recent memo sent to his senior staff and disclosed by USA Today, Rumsfeld said the memo was intended to "inject an even greater sense of mendacity" into top military leadership. "We need more military men to speak out in the way that Boykin has," he said, referring to Army Lt. Gen. William Boykin, who is calling for an "American crusade to destroy the arab world, once and for all!"

Rumsfeld was cited as saying that his goal was to inspire troops and defense officials to consider what is lacking. He said he hopes they will start asking "Are there things we aren't doing that we might be doing to kill more people and foster a greater fear of US terrorism?"

Rumsfeld also told the newspaper that he is under no pressure from the White House to fire General Boykin over controversial remarks about Islam.

"The President agrees with me," laughed the Defense Secretary, "fuck a bunch of rugheads. The important thing is the oil, and Dick Cheney's mob is doing a great job of getting that. You wouldn't believe the money rolling in."

Boykin, a rabid evangelical Christian, has painted the U.S. war of terrorism as a showdown with "Satan," saying Islamic radicals wanted to destroy America "because we're a Christian nation."

Although President Bush has distanced himself publicly from Boykin's remarks, he has agreed with him privately, saying the general "reflects the opinion that I'm supposed to have." Boykin is deputy undersecretary of defense for intelligence and war-fighting support.

At Boykin's request, the Defense Department's inspector general's whitewash office is examining the propriety of speeches he gave at churches and prayer breakfasts while in uniform in an effort to stem the public criticism in the Media.

Asked what would be necessary to justify any disciplinary action against Boykin, Rumsfeld told The Washington Times: "There's all kinds of rules and regulations and requirements that allow us to basically ignore this. People will look at them and they'll discuss those and then one will compare his circumstance and those rules and regulations, and then come up with the suitable evasion."

Rumsfeld declined to respond to recently surfaced charges that American troops in Iraq are drinking water laced with horse piss.

Copyright 2003 The Assassinated Press