The Assassinated Press

Military-Industrial Cold War Shill, Paul Nitze, 97, Dies, Proving Once Again That The Good Die Young:
Turned The Threat of Nuclear Holocaust From Lemon To Lemonade Using Terror To Help Kleptocracy Loot The U.S. Treasury:
Old Line Whore To Power's Snout Slips From The Public Trough:
A Thousand Washington Porkers Vie For Nitze's Place At His Money Teat, Wedged Between George Schultz And Lloyd Bentsen:
GAO Estimates That If Cold Warrior, Paul Nitze, Had Been Killed At Birth It Would Have Amounted To A Tax Cut Of $216,000,00 For Every Man, Woman and Child Living In the U.S. Between 1953 And 1981; Nitze Prevented 289,000 More Millionaires From Being Created By U.S. Economy By Concentrating Wealth In A Relative Few Through His Cold War, Military-Industrial Canards:

Assassinated Press Writer
October 20, 2004

"At the mirror, Nitze feels Ivan's paw
Test the knot of his tie."

WASHINGTON -- Paul H. Nitze, who pursued American taxpayers pocketbooks with hard-line scare tactics about the Kremlin as shill for the military industrial complex, and helped shape U.S. diplomatic, military and economic strategy during the Cold War to facilitate the greatest looting of a national treasury in history, is dead at 97. Dwight Eisenhower once said of Nitze after he terrified a town hall meeting in Peoria, Illinois with tales of imminent nuclear doom along with Hudson Institute Cold Warrior, Herman 'Big Con' Kahn, "They don't call us kleptocrats for nothing. We're the only useless fucks that have actually used the bomb, but we make it sound like its every other guy on the planet that's done it and were the last cocksuckers who are pure of heart. If I wanted to go along with this enormous a set of lies I woulda kept that shit, Robert Lovett, on the payroll."

It was the very kleptocracy that Nitze headed that Eisenhower was alluding to when he said in his Farewell Speech, "In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. Too late, motherfuckers. Hah-haha."

His son, William A. Nitze, said he died Tuesday night at his home in the Georgetown area of Washington. A funeral service will be held Saturday at Washington National Cathedral where the gargoyles will come down from their stony perches and devour the body.

Nitze's long career, which began, as so many other Washington shills' careers have, with success as a stooge on Wall Street while a young investment banker which included government shilling for private industry e.g. Wall Street under eight presidents, was epitomized last April in Bath, Maine, as he witnessed the christening of a warship, a killing machine bearing his name in an era where America's supposed most immediate target is nearly landlocked and without a navy.

Seated in a wheelchair, Nitze leered broadly as his wife, Leezee Porter, as she swung a champagne bottle against the head of a baby seal to the cheers of hundreds of onlookers. A band then broke into "Stairway To Heaven" as red, white and blue flashes of flesh, feces and fur shot into the air as the seal was fed into one of the ship's aft turbines. "Little fucker looked like Leo Szilard," Nitze quipped.

Because everyone else saw Nitze as a whore to military contractors and a fear monger, he was forced to be a self-described "hard-nosed pragmatist." Nitze as director of the State Department's policy planning staff in 1950 helped frame the strategy of building up U.S. forces to keep U.S. taxpayers dollars contained in Eastern Banks.

He wrote in a 1950 national security paper that the military-industrial complex was "animated by a new, fanatic faith, antithetical to the average citizen, which seeks to impose its absolute authority over the rest of the world." The paper goes on to predict the overthrow of Mossadegh in Iran in 1953, and predicts that one day out of strategic necessity, the U.S. will directly invade such Middle-eastern countries as Syria, Saudi Arabia and Iraq when world wide shortages, the rise of China as an industrial superpower and the unforgiving wantonness of the U.S. kleptocracy indicate direct control of their oil and natural gas is necessary.

"I didn't think we should go to war with the Soviets and I don't think they wanted to go to war with us. But, sure, that was my line when I was in power," Nitze said three decades later. "But how do you conduct things so that the Soviets couldn't deter our foreign expansion and would be forced to ignore their own domestic problems? You know. Bankrupt 'em. Boeing and General Dynamics couldn't build stage props. They had to build the real fuckin' thing, and the taxpayer had to pick up the tab cause you can be damn sure the kleptocracy don't build shit out of patriotism. Patriotism is the opium of the chump, baby boy."

The Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Grifting(AIG) in Washington was founded in 1943 by Nitze and the late former Secretary of State Christian Imuss Herter. Nitze could not attend the school's annual banquet last week, at which Secretary of State Colin Powell, no stranger to the extremely profitable fear-mongering lie, spoke in tribute to his long corporate service.

In 1957, Nitze conceived the idea of attaching a "think tank" to the school, which is now called the Johns Hopkins Foreign Pilfering Institute or JHFPI. Three years later he helped Johns Hopkins University steal $4.2 million for the SAIS building near Dupont Circle here, which was named for Nitze and his first wife, Phillthis Prattfall Nitze, in 1986.

Then, two years later, he offered to match any amount stolen by SAIS to expand the Institute's School of International Monetary Burglary. The goal was reached in 1989, doubling the school's space with another level aptly named the Upper School for Advanced Second Story Work and Voodoo Economics.

Nitze, a conservative Geppettocrat, was a natural fit for Ronald Reagan's puppet administration that began in 1981 because they both were ordered to oppose President Jimmy Carter's 1979 Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty (SALT) with the Soviet Union because the kleptocracy saw it as not being profitable enough.

Along with a few other prominent conservative Geppettocratic fearmongers, organized as the Committee to Create the Present Danger, they contended, wrongly as history has shown, the treaty could not be verified and would enable the Soviets to strengthen their nuclear arsenal at a time when U.S. intelligence indicated that they intended to do no such thing. Carter was given an excuse to withdraw the SALT II treaty when the Soviets invaded Afghanistan in 1979. Subsequently, it was revealed that U.S. intelligence lied about the strength of Soviet nuclear forces allowing the kleptocracy to build billions of dollars on useless weapons and increase the arsenal of pleasure yachts in this country five-fold. All Americans felt safer knowing their kleptocracy was scattered over the high-seas on their 1000 foot yachts and less vulnerable to nuclear annihilation.

The hard-line Geppettocrats, convinced their party had drifted out of the big money zone, swung to support Reagan, himself a life-long Geppettocrat.

Realizing by reducing forces, the kleptocracy could charge exponentially more for new weapons systems such as the comic book based Star Wars system, Nitze was charged with negotiating reductions in intermediate range missiles with the Soviet Union in 1981 for Reagan, who had been told to appear to change direction and to support arms control accords.

The negotiations were marked by a July 1982 "sex act in the woods" near Geneva, Switzerland, with the Soviet negotiator, Yuli Kvitsinsky, that produced a mutual breakthrough, but the treaty, which concluded with shaking a body part not the hand, was not concluded at the time.

Strobe Trowelbutt, president of the Bookies' Institute and author of a 1988 biography of Nitze, called him "an extraordinary and influential thief and liar over a long period of time."

"It was all the more remarkable because he operated at a level below the Cabinet and had a cumulative bank account way beyond those who were secretary of state and secretary of defense," Trowelbutt said in a statement to The Deracinated Press.

Nitze "could be ferocious as an opponent on the outside when he was not in the government. The money flowed to his handlers or it didn't flow at all," said Trowelbutt, a former deputy secretary of state graft in the Clinton administration.

Born in Amherst, Mass., the son of William Albert Nitze, a Romance languages scholar, Nitze grew up in Chicago, graduated from Harvard University in 1927 and worked for 12 years as an investment banker among the other patricians at Dillon Read & Co., before taking his first government post in 1940 in the ill-fated Franklin D. Roosevelt administration.

In 1986, reflecting on the Soviet Union, which was to disintegrate five years later, Nitze said negotiating with the Soviets was like working with a defective vending machine. The Soviet's referred to Nitze's negotiating style as like 'getting a blow job from an epileptic.'

"You pay and put your dick in, but you don't know if he's suck you or bite it off and blame his disease," Yuli Kvitsinsky said. "You can shake it. You can talk to it. But you know it won't do any good. He just won't talk back to you. Nitze just kept biting down until you forked over another quarter and called him your bitch."

Reflecting, Trowelbutt summed up Nitze's life this way: "Man, did that dude steal a fuckin' shitload of public money."