The Assassinated Press

Shop til you drop --- from automatic weapons' fire. Women spend a disproportionate amount of money compared to men. So they should embrace combat roles because the front line is essential for the theft of worldís raw materials that go into the manufacturer of all the shit females buy.
Worried about too much fucking between male and female combat troops? Make all combat troops female for the next forty years and then switch back to the swinging dicks in, say, 2053.

The Assassinated Press

Imperialism is democratic. Women are free to die for the rich just as much as men.

Women in combat roles? Where the fuck do I sign my wife and daughters up? And my wifeís mouthy sister too? And you better hold your tongue, grandma. The imperialist aristocracy needs every jizz baton and jelly roll they can huckster into uniform.

Whole lotta stealiní goiní on.

Itís about time the women started stealing the coltan, gold, oil and rare earths for their own damn cell phones and cars and stop sending us males out to fucking do it for them. Thatís downright sexist. And the last thing I want to be is sexist.

Itís about time the cooze cocksuckers stole some of that Middle East/North African oil that they gas up their fucking leased Lexus with.

You want an engagement ring? Go get your own blood diamonds, bitch. I done my three tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. Damned if Iím going to the Central African Republic for Uncle Slimey, the Koch brothers and their Israeli fuck buddies.

And the next time, you want to do a line of coke off a some d-jays rancid foreskin let the shit come into Andrewís in some sisterís scooped out corpse.

Yeah, letís send the women to fight and see if I canít balance my fucking check book for the first time since Dien Bien Phu.

Sign up my sisters and bring me back some brotherís scrote from Somalia, Mali or Niger. And remember, thereís nothing hotter than a broad with no limbs or no tits.

Sure. Kindergarteners get gunned down. Answer: add more guns. Run short of combat ready men. Use the women. At least until the robotís are ready. No thought given to changing the material culture or the pure evil of US imperialist foreign policy.

Obama, the head ding-a-ling said in his speech that the US doesnít have to be involved in perpetual war.

YES IT FUCKING DOES! How else are you going to maintain the standard of living that keeps the average American looking like a triggered air bag bloating in 120 degree heat?

It was Satan in John Miltonís Paradise Lost that nailed US foreign policy so nicely when he said, ďTo wage by force or guile eternal warre.Ē Thatís why Obama blew it out his ass that he wanted to end the USís involvement with perpetual war. I mean most Christians fear and loath Satan. They just hadnít figured out that killing for plastics might be associated with Satanic activity or cross referenced in the fucking sixth commandment.

So all you cunts get out there on the front lines of Imperialist combat and earn the shit you consume. Go out and murder somebody else's babies with extreme prejudice, you fucking assholes. Thatís what fucking equality is all about, getting your brains splooged all over the hot desert sand for your betters. Who said being an ignorant victim for the corporate aristocracy was gender sensitive? Who claimed the world would be a better place if women ran it?

Uncle Slimey wants you skirt. Now, go and die.