The Assassinated Press

Virtually every member of any rebel group in Central Africa has several advanced degrees in the sciences, engineering, finance.
15 year old gun toting soldiers have Phds. in physics, chemistry, spectroscopy, geology, mineralogy, engineering etc.
“Its just fucking bankster b-hole amazing! Gangs of rag tag 15 year old boy soldiers in Central Africa who speak six languages and have multi-billion dollar lines of credit with the largest western banks!”

The Assassinated Press

Otherwise how do you explain the billions upon billions of dollars of minerals and rare earths being extracted from Central Africa every day, refined and shipped to the West and the Middle East. In the mainstream press, right wing and liberal media and the idiots who believe their shit that’s all that‘s there is at work in Central Africa, rag tag armies of rebels, many in their teens, stirring up strife and conflict. Few are aware that they are rag tag gangs of Doctors of Science and Engineering who got their Phds from the most prestigious universites in the West, a generation of teen aged savants.

I found it curious that such an impoverished portion of the world could create so many scientifically advanced savants. So I went into the bush to find out for myself.

Sure enough, for my first interview I talked with 16 year Kamila Seseko. He, indeed had read in chemistry at Cambridge and acquired his Doctorate in Electrochemistry from the University of Oslo. He did post-doctoral work at Princeton on a grant from Bechtel. He also joined Laurent Nkunda’s own billion dollar engineering and mining firm, Bechtel Congo, upon being awarded his third doctorate at the age of 12.

But Seseko said he found corporate life, life behind a desk and in the laboratory not to his liking. So he picked up an AK-47 and went into the bush to wear rags and starve, learning how to rape and kill in the process.

Emulating the American model.

However, many Ivy League educated Central African savants have learned to balance combat and rape with the corporate life. Such is the 18 year old CEO of Century Aluminum, Suweta Malinga.

“Why should we allow foreigners to come to Congo and expoit our resources when virtually every male in the region has an advanced degree or multiple advanced degrees in the mining sciences and mineralogy and geology,” Mailnga told the Assassinated Press. “If you study closely the western press, colonialism never existed in Central Africa. That’s just a lie Belgium told to save face when we beat them back from our shores. I mean the Belgiums. Who could those pasty white shits conquer."

“Its just fucking bankster b-hole amazing. Gangs of rag tag 15 year old boy soldiers who speak six languages and have multi-billion dollar lines of credit with the largest western banks!” The American Ambassador to Congo, Christopher ‘Krispy Creamhole’ Murray, told the Assassinated Press.

It became crystal clear, clear as a blood diamond, that there were no western mining interests operating in Central Africa. Though the lions’ share of rare earths and minerals, timber and diamonds come from the region, it was obvious that the companies operating the huge mining infrastructure required and extracting the minerals were all run by teen aged, AK wielding African boys, as reported in the western media, with advanced degrees from universities across the globe from Beijing, to Delhi, to London to Southern California.

“Yes, we Congolese built all of this” Miyumba Arila told the Assassinated Press as he drove us through vast heavily cut old growth forsts owned by a ragtag, teen aged group of Stanford and Harvard educated rebels known as the Kindu Guggenheims. “Well, we actually didn’t build it. Child labor did. Western corporations would never have allowed this. They always put forward the rights of the individual before working him to death.”

“But what about your rags,” this reporter asked. “Oh, these are Ralph Lauren designer rags. Very expensive. Very chic. Real bloodstains and sweat from models wearing them under the hot lights of a New York runway.”

“But you guys look emaciated, starving?” I asked. Again, “Heroin chic,” Arila added.

Still I remained incredulous that tiny, bloated Central African children could graduate with advanced degrees from some the West’s best universities and go on to found and run some of the largest mining, farming and lumber operations in the world.

But then again the late Milton Friedman had called the teen aged central African entrepreneurs and example for the entire world especially American youth who have easy access to guns if not a good education. Friedman even went on to criticize his mother who worked in a fctory at age 12 instead of owning it.

80,000 years in existence and things get royally fucked in the last 150.

I sensed some western corporate involvement in not only these companies but in the child labor and violence that surrounds them. This had the stink of the white man all over it.

And sure enough, after an Herculean search of perhaps 8 seconds, I found a litany of western based companies exploiting Africa at
and elsewhere. Many operate in Central Africa. The choice is yours. You can believe what the western media wants you to believe that violence in Central Africa and elsewhere on the continent is caused and fueled by the indigenous population, old pre-colonial tribal rivalries etc. even as corporate neo-colonialism rages on. Or you can see the violence and chaos as fomented by competing foces of major western corporations that seek to exploit Africa for its wealth and don’t give a rat’s ass how many people die in the process.

Reading the work of Keith Harmon Snow is a first step.