The Assassinated Press

U.S. Taxpayers Paying for Storage of Blackwater/Xe Founder’s Collection of Human Genitalia.
Part of New $120,000,000 Afghan Contract to Be Used to Transport Eric Prince’s Menagerie to his New Home in the United Arab Emirates.

The Assassinated Press & Fly on the Wall Media

ATLANTA, GA - It’s been called the second largest collection of human genitalia in private hands in the United States. And it’s been in storage at U.S. taxpayer expense since February when Blackwater/Xe founder Eric Prince decided to step down as company CEO and move his family to the United Arab Emirates.

Rows and rows of human sexual organs preserved in jars of alcohol and formaldehyde as well as hundreds of curios made from made from severed human penises and vulvae line the shelves inside a 300,000 square foot facility housed on a U.S. military base.

The collection is valued at $25,000,000 and currently resides in a temperature controlled warehouse at Fort Benning, Georgia. The cost of storing the genitalia, which also includes the private parts of children as well as other primates, is estimated to be $8500.00 a month. Since the artifacts are being stored on a U.S. military base, the cost of storage is being paid for by U.S. taxpayers. A spokesperson for base commandant, Maj. Gen. Walter Wojdakowski, said she knew of no arrangement with Blackwater/Xe or Mr. Prince personally to reimburse the base or the American taxpayer.

The spokesperson, Col. Alexi Haley, would not comment on the makeup of the collection or its origin. She referred all questions concerning acquisition to Mr. Prince. Mr. Prince was not available for comment. Ms. Haley added that “Eric Prince deserved a debt of gratitude for the service he has provided his country" and that she was certain this sentiment was shared by the entire military and the American people.

The world’s largest collection of human genitalia was purchased from the Walter H. Annenberg estate by a consortium of Wall Street investors in 2001. The investment group included current Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, former Treasury Secretary Henry ‘Hank’ Paulson and FOX News TV host Steve Doocy. Hitler's nutsack is reputed to be part of the collection as is Ronald Reagan's single marble sized testicle.

Mr. Prince’s collection is purported to contain hundreds of examples of human and other primate pudenda and penises, many preserved in jars of alcohol and formaldehyde. One grouping of penises is by size and thickness. Another documents cancerous tumors, elephantiasis and syphilis. Children’s genitalia are also among the collections oddities as well as the private parts of many primates including great apes, orangutans, chimpanzees and bonobos.

There is also an extensive collection of tools utensils and other artifacts including spoons made from male penises and purses made from both pudenda and scrotum sacks. There are daggers sheathed in male foreskin and cosmetic mirrors concealed inside female vulva.

“I can’t speak from firsthand knowledge, but it appears to be quite an extensive collection,” an international broker in human body parts told the Assassinated Press. “I’ve seen the warehouse where Mr. Prince’s holdings are lodged and it is quite large, at least the length of three city blocks.”

The sources for the artifacts remain a tightly held secret among the genitalia collecting community. A second attempt to elicit a statement from Mr. Prince received no response. After numerous calls to his office, we were told Mr. Prince’s move to the UAE was imminent and that he was too busy making last minute arrangements to take time to speak with us.