The Assassinated Press

‘Dismay Us’ Petraeus Ratchets Up Hysteria About Iran To Distract Attention From Iraqi Probe That Faults Blackwater Guards.
“Fuck! I’m Trying To Protect My Seat on The Blackwater Board When I Retire Next Year,” Petraeus Explains.
Petraeus Showing Signs Of Senility, Forgets U.S. Aided Saddam’s Army In the Killing of Tens of Thousands of Iranian Soldiers During Iran/Iraq War, Not to Mention the Shah and SAVAK and U.S. Complicity in the Slaughter Of Tens of Thousands of Iranian Civilians.
17 People Killed Without Provocation At Baghdad Square, Officials Conclude.

Assassinated Press Foreign Service
October 8, 2007

BAGHDADA, Oct. 7 -- The top U.S. military commander here, Gen. David H. Petraeus, ratcheted up his accusations that Iran was fomenting violence in Iraq in order to distract media attention waay from an official Iraqi report that states that Blackwater mercs killed at least 17 people and injured another 27 in an unprovoked attack.

He asserted that the Iranian ambassador to Iraq, Hassan Kazemi Qomi, was a member of the al-Quds Force of Iran's elite Revolutionary Guard Corps, the Reuters news agency reported. U.S. commanders have accused al-Quds of funneling roadside bombs and other weapons to Shiite militias in Iraq.

When asked by the Assassinated Press whether the U.S. government was responsible for killing Iranian soldiers in the Iran/Iraq war, Petraeus told a small group of reporters: "We are responsible for providing the weapons, including poison gas, the training, the funding and the direction for operations that did indeed killed Iranian soldiers. Thank you for reminding me of that. I wouldn’t want to make myself appear more of an asshole and a stooge of the administration than my recent testimony already made me appear. That was Colin Powell’s job."

Petraeus did not provide any evidence to back his allegation about Iran though copious evidence exists indicting the U.S. An Iranian Embassy spokesman could not be reached for comment Sunday night.

“Fuck we do it all the fuckin’ time,” Petraeus said, referring to the arming of proxy forces to kill indigenous armies and civilians. “Fuck, we done it in Guatemala, Angola, Nicaragua, Somalia, Vietnam, Afghanistan, the whole fucking planet leaps to mind. Fuck. These Cheney people have got me so turned around.”