The Assassinated Press

U.S. Will Send Troops To 'Secure' Haiti When Violence Ends(?):
Earlier Assassinated Press Warnings Go Unheeded--
U.S. Ambassador Says Haiti Is In Cheney's Crosshairs:
"Chavez A Goner Too," Says Armitage by Palsied Codd

The Assassinated Press Feb. 17, 2004

Washington DC---Over a lunch of traditional Haitian food a block from the National Press Building, U.S. State Department official J. Abbott Costello had the following off the record remarks for this journalist.

WP: Mr. Costello, let me see if I understand the U.S. position vis a vis the ongoing coup in Haiti.

JAC: Well, I wouldn't characterize the situation as a coup. It's more what we like to call 'two pronged diplomacy.'

WP: Hence, the contradiction built into your public statements, which seem to be going right over the heads of the media, is intentional?

JAC: We at State like the media just fine. Wouldn't want to change a thing.

WP: But when you say you will not help with Haitian security until there is no need for it, you are as much admitting that you are behind the current coup---excuse me 'two pronged diplomacy.' That you have bought and paid for the services of some of the most unsavory killers in the history of the western hemisphere to put pressure on the Aristide govenment to capitulate or surrender turning over the Haitian political structure and economy to the same old corrupt thugs you have re-packaged as 'moderates' for uncritical media consumption.

JAC: That's right. Are you sure you're a journalist?

WP: So that's the 'two pronged diplomacy.' To 'end the violence' as you put it---and make it---, Aristide has to accept stepping down for the old corrupt, light-skinned criminal class we see every night cozying up to the corrupt-like skinned U.S. media while the majority of the Haitian people fight among themselves for 26 cent an hour jobs.

JAC: That's right. Now, can I finish my lunch? You gonna eat that roll?