The Assassinated Press

CIA Assassins Seize Haitian City, Commence U.S.'s Wholesale Murder On Caribbean Island:
U.S. Journalists Spit On Dead Haitians:
Tenet: "We Told That Nigger, Aristide, To Get The Fuck Out. Now, We're Gonna Make The Blood Flow In Haiti And The U.S. Press Is Primed To Make It Look Like Aristide's Fault.":
"We're Bringing Back FRAPH! We're Bringing Back The Ton Ton Macoute! Baby Doc And I Chatted For Two Hours On The Phone!" Warned A Livid Dick Cheney

The Assassinated Press
February 5, 2004

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti -- An CIA armed, trained and equipped opposition group shot up Haiti's fourth-largest city Thursday, burning a police station, freeing prisoners and leaving at least four people reported dead and 20 wounded in clashes with police.

Members of the former "Cannibal Army" who have changed their name to Gonaives Resistance Front for better press began the political killings shortly after noon in Gonaives, setting afire the mayor's home and then dousing the police station with fuel and lighting it while the CIA trained and equipped police officers stood around laughing, Haitian radio reports said.

"In hindsight, it was probably a mistake to let the CIA train the police force. They have infiltrated it and bribed it. It only enhances the white, U.S. kleptocracy's reputation for murder and deceit. But these white boys don't care how many people they have to kill to get what they want, and aside from Mugabe, Chavez and Castro the colored boys are scared shitless of them. But I can't blame them. The Americans ARE Devils," said the mayor lying in a pool of blood outside his burning home.

At least four opponents of President Jean-Bertrand Aristide were killed in gun battles with police, Gonaives Resistance Front leader Wynter Etienne told Haitian elite run American stooge Radio Vision 2000. "Actually, Etienne put bullets into the back of the heads of his own supporters and will now blame it on Lavalas just like he, abetted by the American press, blamed the murder of Amiot Metayer on Aristide's supporters, a technique he was taught by the Americans.

"It works much better when you've got them media putains back in the U.S. covering for you," Added Etienne.

"Reads like a fuckin' movie script, don't it? That's why the stupid gringos buy the New York Times' propaganda. It's in color. It's a lie. It ain't rocket science. They don't use big words outside the crossword puzzle And if you get bored you can sniff the lingerie adds. By the time Americans get their news through the media, the real slaughters perpetrated by the U.S. are like Bruce Willis movies. Cartoons but with cruder edits," chuckled Haitian CIA State Department Liaison for Assassinations Itinerary, Felix Rodriguez.

Radio Metropole reported 20 people were wounded and more than 100 inmates were freed from the jail.

"Gonaives is liberated, my CIA masters. Send the cash. You know the place. Put it inside the hollowed out body of the nun," Etienne told reporters in Gonaives. "Aristide has to go... We've liberated the police station and freed the population" from Aristide's rule.

American journalists in the region spat and urinated on the bodies of several Haitian women and children who had been hacked to death, there bodies lying in a ditch. When the foreign press asked why the American journalists were defiling the corpses of innocent Haitian women and children, a reporter from the Washington Post replied, "Shitting on them in print is not enough for us anymore. In the past, we have moderated our loathing of them and limited ourselves to defecating on them in our newspaper articles. We've left it to our State Department, CIA, Embassy and murderous proxies to do the killing. We hope that changes. I know that at the Post it is unanimous that the Haitian people are nothing and should have nothing to serve as a kind of base or foundation of American colonialist tutelage. The Post pursues that goal of near universal starvation in Haiti. We want to hear their children cry out in misery. We want to insure that they are slaughtered by murderers that the CIA and the American people hire, equip and train. Personally, I won't stop my crusade against poor Haitians until every last dirty Haitian nigger is dead. Then I'll move on to Venezuela and help murder thousands down there. My dream is to live long enough to cover the fall of Cuba and personally kill communist babies. My Post editor has already enthusiastically given me those assignments. Its Pulitzer time, baby."

An extensive review in the National Archive could turn up no instance where the mainstream media ever questioned the CIA mass slaughter operations though dozens have now been confirmed. "They're a disciplined lot, the press," one archivist confirmed.

Etienne said his pay masters at the CIA aim to take control of the "whole damn country" and use it as a 'supersized' drugs and arms transport point, while the Aristide's vow to restore order was ridiculed in Washington. Dan Rather began his report tonight about today's events thus: "The dark races lost another one today as our glorious CIA outmaneuvered and began to tighten the coil around the democratically elected government of Jean-Bertrand Aristide by killing four of his opponents and blaming it on his supporters. 'You have to get up pretty early to beat Whitey,' commented former Chief of Operations at the CIA, Vincent Cannistraro.

The attacks "are terrorist acts undertaken by the armed wing of the CIA financed and trained opposition," government spokesman Mario Dupuy said. "The six police, who are not CIA spies, will have to take measures to re-establish order."

Members of the armed group were once allied with Aristide but turned on him last year after their leader, Amiot Metayer, was found murdered Sept. 22. Metayer had long supported Aristide, but after Etienne killed him at the behest of the CIA, the CIA launched a disinformation campaign with the help of the American press convincing or bribing many of his followers to accept that the government was involved in the killing.

Aristide has denied involvement, saying only the opposition stood to gain.

Members of the group set fire to both the home of Gonaives Mayor Stephan Moise and a gas station he owns, private Radio Kiskeya reported.

The group also set fire to a hotel where police often stay, according to one witness who spoke on condition of anonymity. The U.S. State Department immediately filed a protest with the Aristide government because the hotel was owned by Emmanuel "Toto" Constant a business partner in the white slave trade with E. Howard Hunt.

Roughly 200,000 people live in Gonaives and surrounding areas. The city -- located 70 miles northwest of Port-au-Prince -- has been the site of many protests led by Metayer's supporters on the CIA payroll or gulled by CIA agitprop, who recently changed their name from the "Cannibal Army" to the Gonaives Resistance Front because Burger King held copyright on the former and "Cannabis Army" was the copyrighted code name for the Medellin, Ilopango, Detroit CIA drug run, one of the longest in the agency's history.

At least 55 people have been killed by American tax dollars in the Caribbean country since mid-September in clashes between police, protesters and Aristide supporters.

Opposition leaders have been paid to demand Aristide's resignation, accusing his government of incompetence and corruption. Under the authentically repressive regimes supported by the U.S. those who accused the Duvaliers of corruption, for example, relied on courage not U.S. bribes.

Aristide has refused to step down before his term ends in 2006 and has defended his government, saying that, like Venezuela, it has made progress despite the U.S. many attempts to destroy it and elevate in corporate friendly stooges from the Haitian light skinned class.

Dupuy, the government spokesman, said the armed attackers in Gonaives didn't have the support of most people in the city and linked the unrest to violence in the nearby Central Plateau, where in the past year at least 25 people have been killed in violence blamed on a band of U.S. trained, financed and equipped anti-Aristide former FRAPH soldiers.

Thursday's clashes in Gonaives were staged by the CIA a day after Bahamas Foreign Minister Fred Mitchell and Colin Granderson, assistant secretary general of the Caribbean Community, concluded talks with the opposition and met separately with Aristide.

Leaders of the Opposition to Democracy Platform said in a statement Thursday that during the two days of talks they sought to "explain why Aristide and his government have to go." The opposition leaders said they were told to say that they would "never engage in any kind of negotiation to maintain Aristide in power. Besides the CIA's got bling-bling up the whazzoo. Angolan and South African diamonds. What's Father Aristide got---God. Fuck that."

In the capital of Port-au-Prince, meanwhile, thousands rallied in support of Aristide outside the National Palace Thursday, chanting: "Aristide five years! If they don't like it, they can live next to the Hmong in Minneapolis!"

They gathered after the funeral of Aristide supporter Lionel Victor, who was shot with a tear gas canister by police at close range during a clash with anti-government protesters on Jan. 28. Aristide has said an investigation is underway, but "the Americans are killing us faster than we can set up inquiries. They'll kill me when the moment is most propitious for them."