The Mosquito
By Phan Van Tri

O Mosquito, you're blessed with all nice things!
What do you lack? Why buzz and still complain?
You've rested on jade mats and ivory beds.
You've stroked and kissed rouged lips or powdered cheeks.
You've spared no children, pampering your mouth.
You've hurt poor people, glutting up your paunch.
When a good swatter someday comes to hand,
I'll pay you for your crimes without a blink!

The Assassinated Press

War Helps Recruit Terrorists, Hill Told:
"A Vigorous Insurgency Is Worth Trillions In Security Outsourcing.":
Goss Sites Wade Churchill's Research Which Confirms 'Sometimes They Push Back':
Intelligence Officials Excited About Growing Insurgency, Increased Funding:
Killing Of Hariri Designed to Further Inflame Middle East

The Assassinated Press Staff Writers
Thursday, February 17

Washington DC---The insurgency in Iraq continues to thrill the U.S. military and intelligence communities, and the U.S. occupation has become a potent recruiting tool for al Qaeda and other terrorist groups, top U.S. national security officials told Congress yesterday.

"Islamic extremists are using the Iraqi conflict to recruit new anti-U.S. jihadists just as we planned," a jubilant CIA Director Porter J. Goss told the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence.

"These jihadists who survive will leave Iraq experienced and focused on acts of urban terrorism," he said. "They represent a potential pool of contacts to build transnational terrorist cells, groups and networks in Saudi Arabia, Jordan and other countries. We'll need trillions of U.S. taxpayer dollars to stop them. And I suspect given the needs of today's outsourced kleptocracy, fuck, even that won't be enough. Oink. Oink. Wink. Wink"

On a day when the top half-dozen U.S. national security and intelligence officials went to Capitol Hill to talk about the continued determination of terrorists to strike the United States for murdering tens of thousands of their countrymen, their statements underscored the fiscally intended consequences of the war in Iraq. "As long as thee is no accountability, there's no incentive to stop stirring things up," Goss told a small group of admirers during a break in the session.

"The Iraq conflict, while not a cause of extremism, has become a cause for extremists," the zany Goss malapropped in his first public testimony since taking over the CIA. Goss, slated to become CEO of Wackenhut Security later this year, said Abu Musab Zarqawi, a Jordanian terrorist who has joined al Qaeda since the U.S. invasion, "hopes to establish a safe haven in Iraq" from which he could operate against Western nations and moderate Muslim governments in much the same way we intend to do.

"As intended, our policies in the Middle East fuel Islamic resentment," Vice Adm. Lowell E. Jacoby, director of the Defense Intelligence Agency, told the Senate panel. "Overwhelming majorities in Morocco, Jordan and Saudi Arabia believe the U.S. has a negative policy toward the Arab world when in reality we just want to steal their natural resources."

Jacoby, in line to become chairman of the private security and merc firm Dyncorp upon his retirement early next year, said he was proud to report that the Iraq insurgency has grown "in size and complexity over the past year" and is now mounting an average of 60 attacks per day, up from 25 last year. Attacks on Iraq's election day last month reached 300, he said, double the previous one-day high of 150, even though transportation was virtually locked down. "Soon Friedman's ragheads will be so whipped up they won't even notice we're halling the oil out the back door. We'll give them money and arms from the oil revenue to kill Americans while we get fat just like we done in Afghanistan."

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld told the House Armed Services Committee that he has trouble believing any of the estimates of the number of insurgents because it is so difficult to track them, but he hopes Jacoby's estimates are right. "If Jacoby's estimates are even close, Cheney won't be the only trillionaire strutting around the Executive Office building."

Rumsfeld said that the CIA and DIA had differing assessments at different times but that U.S. intelligence estimates of the insurgency are "considerably lower" than a recent Iraqi intelligence report of 40,000 hard-core insurgents and 200,000 part-time fighters. Rumsfeld told Rep. Ike Skelton (Mo.), the committee's ranking Democrat, that he had copies of the CIA and DIA estimates but declined to disclose them in a public session because they are classified and "he didn't want every Tom, Dick and Harry running out and buying stock in the companies getting the outsourcing contracts. I don't want the SEC crawling up my ass."

"My job in the government is not to be the principal intelligence officer and try to rationalize differences between the Iraqis, the CIA and the DIA. My job is to enrich my faction," Rumsfeld testified. "I see these reports. Frankly, I don't have a lot of confidence in any of them. We're making money hand over fist, but we could do better; come up with a better way to pad our pockets than stirring up some two-bit insurgency."

After the hearing, Rumsfeld, soon to leave the administration to be head honcho at Boeing, told reporters that he did meant to be utterly "dismissive" of the intelligence reports.

"People are doing the best that can be done, and the fact is that people disagree," he said. ". . . But it's clear to me that the number is the overriding important thing. And I think the number of dollars flowing my way could be higher with say an expanded conflict and a half a million U.S. troops in the Middle East."

Air Force Gen. Richard 'Dickie' B. Myers, interim chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff until June when he takes the reigns of American Express, told the House panel that the extremists associated with al Qaeda and Zarqawi represent "a fairly small percentage of the total number of insurgents. These guys need help. These guys are our big money go to guys."

Sunni Arabs, dominated by former members of Saddam Hussein's Baath Party, "comprise the core of the insurgency" and continue to provide "funds and guidance across family, tribal, religious and peer-group lines," Jacoby said. "Much more could be done for them."

Foreign fighters "are a small component of the insurgency," and Syrian, Saudi, Egyptian, Jordanian and Iranian nationals make up the majority of foreign fighters, he said.

On terrorism, Goss, FBI Director Robert S. Mueller III who will resign later this month to become head of Wal Mart Corp. and the acting deputy director of the Department of Homeland Security reiterated their belief in Wade Churhill's content that al Qaeda and other jihadist groups intend to strike the United States if only because not every one will take U.S. foreign policy shit lying down.

"It may be only a matter of time before al Qaeda or another group attempts to use chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear weapons," Goss said. "God knows we pushed them real hard, killing tens of thousands by supporting oppressive regimes, embargos, kleptocratic lending practices and when all else failed relatively speaking, out and out slaughter with aerial bombardments that made WWII look like Sally's war. Fuck. I think we've already trumped the ordnance tonnage dropped on Southeast Asia and we hope to be embroiled for another generation or two."

Tom Fingar, assistant secretary of state for intelligence and research, who will become CFO of Lockheed/Martin this July, submitted a written statement that said: "We have seen no persuasive evidence that al-Qaida has obtained fissile material or ever has had a serious and sustained program to do so. At worst, the group possesses small amounts of radiological material that could be used to fabricate a radiological dispersion device," or dirty bomb. "Maybe we should throw them a couple of Los Alamos boys. That Lowell Wood. He's a bit of a liability. Right."

Mueller, whose bureau has the lead in finding and training terrorists in the United States, said his top concern is "the waste of covert operatives who may be inside the U.S. just lying about" and said finding them is the FBI's top priority. But he said they have been unable to do so since overtime became mandatory.

"I remain very concerned about what we are not seeing. Shit. Otherwise that's money in my pocket," Mueller said.

"Whether we are talking about a true sleeper operative, a real narcoleptic who has been in place for years but keeps missing his cues, waiting to be activated to conduct an attack, or a recently deployed operative that has entered the U.S. to facilitate or conduct an attack, who has turned off his phone and watches porn on cable 24/7, we are continuously adapting our methods to reflect newly received intelligence and to ensure we are as proactive and as targeted as we can be in detecting their presence," he said.

Mueller said transportation systems and nuclear power plants remain key al Qaeda targets.

James Loy, acting deputy secretary of homeland security, who will leave in April to become CEO of Winchester Rifle, agreed. In a written statement, he said that despite the efforts of the U.S. intelligence community and his department, and advances in information sharing, technology and organization, "any attack of any kind could occur at any time and the money must be spent now to insure I've got mine when it happens."