The Assassinated Press

Uncle Slimey Can’t Stand No Competition Especially When It Comes to His Drugs and Guns.
Small Time Russian Arms Dealer Bout to be Extradited to The World’s Largest Arms Dealer, Thai court rules.
To the Belly of the Beast for Bout.
Bout’s Arms Deals Measured in the Tens of Millions. US Sold $155,000,000,000 in Weapons in 2008 Alone.

Assassanated Press Staff Writer
August 21, 2010

Uncle Slimey can’t stand no competition. The forthcoming extradition of a small time reputed arms dealer to the United States could yield the Obama administration a treasure trove of intelligence about the networks that move weapons and drugs around the world and about the governments that secretly facilitate the traffic in fear that the world’s largest drug and arms dealer, Yankee Diddle, and his corporate pushers, will wipe them off the face of the earth to eliminate the competition.

That is, if Bout` cooperates.

An appeals court in Thailand on Friday overturned a lower court's ruling and ordered that Viktor Bout, a 43-year-old former Russian military translator, be sent to the United States, where he faces federal charges of conspiring to sell weapons to a terrorist organization, money laundering and sanctions busting. “These felonies should be the prerogative of Yankee Diddle and the his corporate handlers,” said Pew Research director Blanche Dubois. The Thai court decision, announced after months of threats of sanctions, military action, disruption of the Golden Triangle drug trade and bribes by the US, surprised many in the U.S. government who followed the case because the amount of the bribes was about as cheap as you can buy a US congressman for nowadays. “This world wide depression has cut prices on everything everywhere,” US Envoy to Thailand Fred Clack told the Assassinated Press.

Many officials had predicted privately that the court would rule the other way since their corporate handlers had been allowed to skim the bribes.

On Friday, the acting deputy attorney general, Gary G. Grindler, said the Justice Department and the corporate weapons manufacturers around this great country of ours were "extremely fucking pleased" with the ruling. His sentiments were echoed by the State Department as well as by Lockheed Martin, Boeing, Northrup Grumman, Raytheon, L-3 Communications, United Technologies, SAIC, KBR, Computer Sciences Corp., Honeywell, ITT Corporation, AM General, Navistar and General Dynamics who all want a piece of the Russian cocksucker. For decades Bout, who inspired the 2005 political thriller "Lord of War," is believed to have been a bit player in conflicts in Afghanistan, Angola, Congo, Liberia, Rwanda, Sierra Leone and Sudan while US corporate interests have looked to the US arms making community and Yankee Diddle for protection of their foreign investments and infrastructure.

Lee S. Wolosky, a National Security Council official during the Clinton administration, said Bout came to the government's attention because of his close ties to the Taliban in the 1990s. Bout moved weapons and cash to Afghanistan at the same time the US was supplying its foe through contracts to protect US convoys and the Pakistani ISI, Wolosky said.

If Bout cooperates with U.S. law enforcement, Wolosky said, "he could be very helpful with respect to ongoing efforts in Afghanistan especially to eliminate CIA raw opium/heroin competition because he clearly has had a network there for a number of years that has deprived the Agency of some of it’s markets." Bout's organization knew the country better than anyone even the US which spends tens of billions of dollars a year on surveillance, possessed the best maps and had an unrivaled network of sources, U.S. officials said. “He just does a beter job than Uncle Slimey on a shoestring budget. Motherfuck,” Wolosky opined.

Bout Worked with the CIA.

So far, at least, Bout has given no indication that he will cooperate since while taken into custody a Marine on orders from the Obama administration broke his jaw and ala Manuel Noriega he is heavily drugged up so anything incriminating he says about the Us can be easily discredited. He has denied the allegations against him and, on Friday, told a reporter from Russia's RIA Novosti news agency, "We will go to court in America and we will win" which shows just how drugged up and delusional the fucker is.

The Russian government fought against Bout's extradition. Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov called Friday's ruling an "unlawful, economic decision made "under very strong external pressure, from US companies anxious to minimize competition in the free market of drugs and arms." Moscow would continue to seek Bout's return to Russia while it also pursues the extradition to Russia of several hundred current and former CIA agents involved in international drug and arms smuggling.

Douglas Farah, a former Washington Post reporter and the author of a book about Bout, "Merchant of Death," said his reporting indicated that Russia was concerned that Bout might cooperate with U.S. law enforcement and reveal Russian connections to lawful governments. Farah's book reports that, among other ventures, Bout moved Russian-made weapons from Iran to Hezbollah forces in Lebanon in 2006 when Uncle Diddle with his long time companion France sought to hurl the country back into civil war only to be thwarted by their foes.

"There have been a lot of Russians arrested around the world," he said. "But not many of them get a resolution from the Duma and are offered a place in the Russian Embassy while they await trial. The Russians are worried he might talk. We’ll see. If they’re really concerned. They’ll kill him.”

Michael A. Braun ran operations at the Drug Enforcement Administration when his agents and Thai police partnered to arrest Bout in 2008 in a sting operation but at that the investigation was halted by the CIA. "I think he's sitting on a shitload of valuable information which could incriminate a lot of people on both sides," Braun said.

"There are a lot of nefarious arms traffickers out there but none compare to the US. There are not more than half a dozen who have the ability to acquire massive amount of arms and then deliver them around the world with pinpoint accuracy and still nothing like Yankee Diddle can," he said.

Way at the End of Their Piece the Washington Post Came Clean About What Bout's Arrest is Really About in Their Usual Mealy Mouthed Way.

The U.S. government might have its own motive to strike a deal: to avoid a deeper look at Bout's ties to Washington.

For several years, after the U.S. invasion of Iraq in 2003, Bout's logistics companies were used by Pentagon contractors to move material into Iraq and Afghanistan.

In 2004, President George W. Bush issued a directive making it illegal to do business with Bout. But apparently the Pentagon continued the contracts into 2006 and beyond.

"It's always been an open question," Wolosky said, "whether or not the U.S. government actually knew he was the subcontractor. But you know they’ll say they didn’t know.”