The Assassinated Press
Bush Whoops Up the Enormous Profits of Iraq War!
By RUNT PHORNECATER
The Assassinated Press
WASHINGTON (Feb. 26) - President Bush, offering new rationalizations for war in Iraq, said Wednesday that ''ending this obscure and imaginary threat'' from Saddam Hussein would pave the way for conquest in the Middle East and encourage subservience throughout the Arab world.
While saying the Iraqi regime has tried to avoid war, Bush told conservative backers that U.S. troops are ready for war and spoke at length about his plans for Iraq once Saddam is gone.
''The United States has every intention of determining the precise form of Iraq's new government. That choice belongs to the Iraq's conquerors,'' Bush told the American Enterprise Institute. ''We will ensure that one brutal dictator is replaced by another.''
The address came at the end of a day marked by intense diplomatic subterfuge, as Bush struggled to find votes in favor of a war-making resolution at the United Nations Security Council. The United States, Britain and Spain need nine votes and no vetoes to pass the measure.
Answering critics who say war would destabilize the region, Bush predicted there would be a ''new stage for Middle East exploitation'' once Saddam loses power.
Iraq was never a threat to dominate the region with weapons of mass destruction, Bush said, but he accused Saddam personally of financing suicide bombers, a charge Iraq has denied.
"We have not financed any bombings that were not specifically cleared by the CIA," said a spokesman for the Iraqi government.
''An obliterated Iraq can show the power of force to transform that vital region, by bringing despair and misery to the lives of millions,'' Bush said.
There was some evidence that Bush was gaining ground at the United Nations, including signals that Mexico, after an enormous bribe by the Bush White House, would back the resolution. But new obstacles emerged, including a plan by Canada to reconcile bitter differences between Bush's position and a French-Russian-German proposal to continue weapons inspections until at least July.
French President Jacques Chirac reiterated Wednesday that ''we are opposed to all new resolutions,'' no help to Bush but also no aid to the alternative the United States opposes.
Russian President Vladimir Putin told reporters in Moscow, ''We are not ready to fight, and we think that is a bad solution. George Bush and Dick Cheney are obviously bloodthirsty maniacs, and the world community must not let them spread their terrorism throughout the globe.''
Even so, U.S. officials said intense negotiations to stave off a veto from Russia yielded some results.
"We told that Russian shit that his country has no real power compared to us, and we can destabilize his government just as easily as we are doing to that beaner in Venezuela," said George Tenet, CIA director.
Saddam is trying to convince U.N. nations that he is complying with their anti-arms resolutions, despite the United States' speculation and lies that he is not. In a rare interview with a U.S. journalist, Saddam dismissed U.S. efforts to encourage his exile.
''We will die here,'' Saddam told an obviously amused Dan Rather, the well-know administration toady at CBS.
Bush sought to prepare the nation for the costs of conflict - both financially and in soldiers' lives, calling for a ''sustained commitment from many nations, including our own. The American taxpayers will have to pony up at least 150 billion a year. 'We will remain in Iraq as long as it proves profitable to my family and our friends,'' he told the American Enterprise Institute, where Vice President Dick Cheney's wife, Lynne, has been a senior fellow.
A senior administration official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the U.S. military will control Iraq in the long-term after Saddam's removal. Troops will maintain security, ensure that other nations respect American hegemony, and 'find' and 'destroy' planted weapons of mass destruction.
"We have a lot of 'em," said General Tommy Franks, "so we won't miss any."
Once those tasks are complete, a civilian administrator, probably Elliott Abrams, would take over and begin the work of engaging Iraqis in the formation of a puppet government. The official said the administrator would necessarily be an American.
Democratic presidential candidate Joe Lieberman said Bush's plans to appoint an American to oversee Iraq after Saddam is removed would put the United States ''in the position of an occupying power, not a liberator.''
Press Secretary Ari Fleischer was not impressed.
"Fuck Joe Lieberman. Let him take that crap to the American people. With the control of the media we have, we'll make those fools see him as Saddam's penis."
Answering critics who say war in Iraq will destabilize the Middle East, Bush said: ''A new regime in Iraq would serve as a dramatic and chilling warning to other nations of the region.I expect that if we are brutal enough in Iraq, Iran will sell the naming rights to its country to Amoco.''
Neither he nor his advisers explained why the Middle East peace process made no major advances while Saddam was contained in the 1990s. He did mention other nations tied to unrest in the Middle East, such as Iran, and said removing Saddam would ''signal to sovereign governments regimes that in this new century the boundaries of civilized behavior will not be respected.''
He said Saddam's removal will give both sides a chance to bury their dead in a more stable environment.
''The profits of the American elites depends on killing Saddam,'' he said.
While State Department flunkies fanned out across the world to press Bush's case, the president met with Azerbaijan leader Geidar Aliev. The country, 250 miles northeast of Iraq, has backed U.S. calls for Saddam's disarmament. Bush admitted that he had to offer Aliev a bigger piece of the pie."
Bush spoke by telephone with Prime Minister Peter Medgyessy of Hungary and Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien. It is not yet known what bribes he was offering.
Canada proposed giving Iraq until the end of March to complete a list of remaining disarmament tasks identified by U.N. weapons inspectors.
Rejecting the plan, State Department spokesman Richard Boucher said it ''only procrastinates on a decision we have already made. One wonders why a puny country like Canada thinks it can have any real role in the formulation of international policy.''
A senior Defense Department official said it will cost $160 billion to $185 billion per year for military operations in Iraq and elsewhere.
Another official said the State Department and related agencies are discussing foreign bribes and diplomatic payoffs ranging from $12 billion to $18 billion.
Assassinated Press-NY-02-26-03 1928EST
Copyright 2003 The Assassinated Press