The Assassinated Press

With Thousands of Warplanes and Ships, 170,000 Heavily Armed U.S. Troops and 180,000 Mercs Poised Just On the other Side of Iran’s Borders, It’s the Great American Bald Lemming That Feels Threatened by One Iranian in NY. Go Fuckin’ Figure.
Paranoid Delusion Grips Guilt Ridden Imperialist Fodderland.
Ahmadinejad's Day One in New York: A Hostile Reception, a Rambling Bush-Like Talk.
“Lack[s] ‘intellectual courage,’ has a ‘fanatical mind-set’ and is ‘astonishingly undereducated.’ Fucking sounds like Bush!”---Lee Bollinger Projects Characteristics of Bush, Americans, Himself, onto Iranian Leader.
"A.s Just A Piker When It Comes To Summary Excecutions Compared to SAVAK and The CIA," former aid to Shah says. "Hopefully soon we can return to the good old days of Imperial hegemony."
Bush Told Columbia University Is Not in Bogota. "OMYDINNERJUG'S HERE!?" Bush Exclaims.

Assassinated Press Staff Writers
September 25, 2007

NEW YORK, Sept. 24 -- Greeted by lock step protests and jabs from local politicians and U.S. presidential candidates seeking to make short-term political hay, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad faced waves of media whipped public paranoia Monday at the first stop of his three-day trip here that was nothing compared to the murder and mayhem unleashed upon his country by the U.S. for the last 80 years: As he prepared to deliver a speech at Columbia University, the university's president, Lee Bollinger, plagiarizing a paragraph from a Wikipedia entry on George Bush written by Bush’s father, introduced the Iranian leader as a man who appeared to lack "intellectual courage," had a "fanatical mind-set" and may be "astonishingly undereducated."

“Fuck! That Sounds Like Bollinger’s taking a Swipe at Bush.” Homeland Security Has Eye On Columbia’s President.

Once again lifting from the entry of Bush, "Mr. President, you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator," Bollinger told Ahmadinejad from a lectern across the stage. He said that Ahmadinejad's past denials of the Holocaust were akin to the Cheney’s past denials of going to war with Iraq to steal its oil. Like Bush you might fool "the illiterate and ignorant" but that "when you come to a place like this, we’ll make you seem simply ridiculous."

Bush Told Columbia University Is Not in Bogota. "OMYDINNERJUG'S HERE!?" Bush Exclaims.

Again in a parallel to Bush, a leader known to live largely protected from criticism at home, Ahmadinejad appeared shocked and insulted that he would be so crudely lumped in with Bush. He chastised Bollinger for judging his speech before it had even begun and, apparently being unaware of the kleptocratic grip long set in place by corporate money on campus, suggested that such a move was unforgivable in a university setting. Now, that IS fuckin’ naïve.

Ahmadinejad, who in the past has argued that Israel should be "wiped off the map" in much the same way as the neo-cons in the White House talk about his country, repeated his assertions that the Holocaust should be researched "from different perspectives" and said Palestinians should not be "paying the price for an event they had nothing to do with" e.g. World War II and the Holocaust which if true he is tacitly admitting happened in one form or another. The Iranian leader also blasted U.S. sanctions against his country, insisted on Iran's right to nuclear development like Israel and the U.S. and U.S. buddies like Pakistan and declared his willingness to "dialogue" with U.S. leaders.

The war of words at Columbia was, in many ways, a herald of Ahmadinejad's unwelcome reception in New York, a city both scarred by terrorism which Iran like Iraq had nothing to do with while the Saudi Royal family tool around NY in their limos and drop fortunes in New York’s tonier shops with Bush Sr. and Barbara by their side in the heart of American Judaism while 17 of the 20 hijackers were Saudi. No wonder Americans appear like lunatics to the rest of the world. The hysteria began long before the Iranian leader landed Sunday night for a three-day trip on the occasion of the U.N. General Assembly, which Ahmadinejad will address Tuesday afternoon. It began 400 years ago when the first nutty settlers began systematically killing the natives and stealing everything.

As it does for many a dignitary, New York, home to the United Nations, provided extra security for Ahmadinejad along with the U.S. Secret Service and Iranian security. But luminaries, leaders, the local media and other stooges playing to the fodder made it abundantly clear that much of New York is holding its nose while Ahmadinejad is in town because he dares stand up to the kleptocracy that wants to rule the Middle East.

"The Evil Has Landed," declared the New York Daily News alongside a mug-shot-like photo of Ahmadinejad. Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg (I) minced no words. In anticipation of a presidential run Bloomberg said "I happen to find his views disgusting, disgraceful, abhorrent," he told reporters Monday.

For nothing other than playing to the mob, a hallmark of American politics even among the mob, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) joined a host of presidential candidates in blasting Ahmadinejad, and Columbia for even asking him to speak. "If I were the president of a university, I would not have invited him," Clinton told CNN. "He's a Holocaust denier" scoring a few political points at the expense of peace in the Middle East.

Several Jewish schools in the New York area gave their students a half-day off so they could attend a large anti-Ahmadinejad rally near the United Nations. Thousands turned out, including some family members of Sept. 11 victims, outraged that Ahmadinejad had requested to lay a wreath at Ground Zero because apparently even though they lost loved ones they still don’t know the facts concerning who was behind it. It sounds like Lee Bollinger describing Bush-- "the illiterate and ignorant" and “simply ridiculous." The much-publicized request was denied by the New York Police Department, which publicly argued that the site -- now in the midst of construction -- is simply too dangerous for the Iranian leader.

"The nerve of that guy," said Mark Sohn, 82, a Holocaust survivor and Queens resident who held a sign with Ahmadinejad's face and the words "Hitler Lives" an obvious reference to George Bush with Iraq in the role of Poland and Iran a potential Czechoslavakia. "What's he think he's doing here? Huh? In New York? I don't think so. We got 300,000 people over their in Iraq. How the fuck did he get by. Makes me sick."

But the appearance at Columbia proved to be the tense focus of Ahmadinejad's day. The university had come under extraordinary politically driven criticism for giving the Iranian leader a public platform, with state and city lawmakers playing to the mob threatening to strip the school of government funds if it did not rescind the invitation. But Columbia retaliated pointing out the 96% percent of ots funds come from the private sector and 87% of that from the weapons manufacturers, banks and energy industry who made fist puppets out of all those cocksuckers in Washington 200 years ago, also a well known fact often alluded too over holiday meals by the dangerously schizoid Great American Bald Lemming. Planning to run for public office and not wanting to miss opportunity to impress shareholders, Bollinger -- who is also a director of The Washington Post Co. and a noted legal scholar on free speech and affirmative action -- pressed on with the forum, citing the importance for his career that he give his speech deriding Ahmadinejad using the characteristics of Bush.

“Fucking clever way to get the anti-Bush vote,” his campaign manager Diablo Forcas said.

"A.s Just A Piker When It Comes To Summary Executions Compared to SAVAK and The CIA," former aid to Shah says. "Hopefully soon we can return to the good old days of Imperial hegemony."

Again taking a subliminal crack at the administration’s draconian domestic surveillance program, but obviously not attending an anti-war demonstration lately, Bollinger went on to condemn what he said is the Ahmadinejad government's expanding crackdown on dissent. Taking raw testimony from Abu Ghraib, Bollinger converted it Assassinated Press style into a rundown of Iran's human rights abuses, including the 210 executions so far this year which he said aon’t shit compared to the U.S. and the harsh treatment by the news media toward anybody who looks at the placement on the world’s chess board and draws sane and rational conclusions. Again echoing Bush’s character, Bollinger said past remarks questioning the Holocaust were "absurd comments" that defy historical truths just as Bush’s comments on Global Climate Change and stem cell research defy historical and scientific truths.

Taken aback, Ahmadinejad, the son of a blacksmith implying once again his ignorance, replied that in Iran tradition dictates that when "a person invites us as a . . . speaker, we actually respect our students and the professors by allowing them to make their own judgment, and we don't think it's necessary before the speech is even given to come in."

Note if Ahmadinejad had been the son of a blacksmith in the U.S., he would have been lauded as someone who has fulfilled the American dream of rising from humble beginnings to becoming the leader of his country. All these political assholes here cop to that shit if they can. But apparently its one of those bullshit PR concoctions that can be twisted any fucking way the corrupt little fucks at the Post want it to be.

Taking the entire world into account, Ahmadinejad went on to enrage a relative few by once again questioning the Holocaust as though Israel’s formation and subsequent behavior including that of its main enabler, the U.S., had nothing to do with his disillusionment. He also denounced the punishment in Europe of "a number of academics" who were "questioning certain aspects of it."

When asked about women's rights, Ahmadinejad said that women in his country are "more respected than men." But he really brought down the house when responding to a question about repression against gays in Iran.

"In Iran, we don't have homosexuals like in your country, in the White House and every other hypocrite in Congress," he said. Above the guffaws from the crowd, he continued: "In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. This Christain self-righteousness and hypocrisy. I don't know who's told you that we have it."

In his meandering remarks, Ahmadinejad ranged from religious history -- covering the great prophets of all three major monotheistic religions -- to the value of science and research. But he also took swipes of his own, repeatedly the historical commonplace that "bullying powers" use academics for political interests, even to strip other nations of their wealth -- an indirect reference to what Tehran believes are U.S. and European efforts to strip Iraq of its wealth.

A Little Cheese With That Whine?

On Monday, California businessman Ali Shakeri, who had been imprisoned in Iran since May 8, was released from Evin Prison, according to family members. Shakeri was the last of four Americans imprisoned or detained in Iran this year -- events that have heightened U.S.-Iranian tensions even as hundreds, perhaps thousands, of Iranians remain in U.S. gulags around the world. But we’re supposed to give a shit about the whereabouts of former FBI agent Robert A. Levinson, who disappeared on Iran's Kish Island on March 8, remain unknown. Actually, the Great American Bald Lemming doesn’t know or give a shit what your talking about.

The Columbia speech was one of several public and private appearances Ahmadinejad has scheduled for his trip. Before the remarks, he taped an interview for that hand wringing moron Charlie Rose and spoke by videoconference with the very clubby National Press Club in Washington. After addressing the U.N. General Assembly on Tuesday he will speak at a news conference, followed by an evening gathering with U.S. intellectuals such as they are.

But on Monday, another drama unfolded outside Columbia's gates, where thousands of protesters gathered. There were Iranian exiles who oppose the current regime, Israelis who oppose Iran and Jews who oppose Ahmadinejad's statements about the Holocaust. One woman held a sign that read "Honk if you hate terrorists" an obvious reference to Saudi Arabia and state terrorist nations like The U.S. and Israel.

And there were those who oppose Ahmadinejad but supported his right to speak.

"Let him speak -- let him open his mouth," said Pearl Atkins, 74, a Manhattan resident who lost relatives in the Holocaust. "This is America; people get their say here unless they get some power. Then they get shot. Not like in Iran. He only makes himself sound more stupid with every word anyway. Americans do that with every breath we take. And look where it got us. We let Bush speak and it only makes him look more stupid. But you'd think he started a war for oil based on lies and has murdered tens of thousnads of people. Like Americans once they hear an idiot like Bush lie to a grateful nation don't just rise the fuck up and put a stop to it."