The Assassinated Press

CONDOMNATION!!! Glenn Beck Outraged at Charges Against Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange!
Beck Calls Swedish Law Criminalizing Bedroom Behavior "Tyranny;" Sees Such ‘Fascism’ "Looming" for America.
Obama Justice Department Moves to Close Down the N.Y. Times for Publshing Secret Documents Supplied through Wikileaks.

The Assassinated Press

Glenn Beck is angry again at the nanny state. On his syndicated radio show for December 3rd, Glenn Beck lashed out at the Swedish government for its “unjust” and “absurd” prosecution of Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange.

With spittle literally frying on his microphone, Beck denounced the nature of the charges against Assange as “intrusive”, “vile”, “tyrannous” and “obscene.”

The charges against Assange apparently arise from his failure to use a condom during consensual sex. The charge is punishable by two years imprisonment under Swedish law.

Repeating the charge, Beck went ballistic on the air. “Folks, I don’t condone the use of profanity but if I wouldn’t face a shitload of FCC fines for using words like ‘fucked-up’ and ‘horseshit’ on the air, I would right now. I’m so motherfuckin’ pissed at these Swedish socialist, commie cocksuckers. I mean, I can understand if you’re fucking a goat or Christine O’Donnell or Sean Hannity. Maybe, you want to think about using a condom. But there shouldn’t be a law mandating it. That’s Nazism! That’s fascism!”

Lenny, Dick, Richard, George and Glenn

“The nanny state is treating us like babies. Take the FDA and their food testing or the FCC and its absurd rules against me saying kike or cunt or nigger on the air. Now, Julian’s prick is in play. How would you like your prick in play? Think about it. The state judging your junk hoping to send it off to the slammer.”

Beck continued: “So fuck Sweden. And fuck the Obama administration. First, they’ll come for your cocks. Next they’ll come for your guns--- after they figure out you got the guns cause you never fire your cocks, at least not into anything without Kleenex on the box.”

“If we can’t be trusted with our own penises, of course, the US government is going to conclude we can’t be trusted with State Department cables written, I might remind you, by OUR, the people’s state department employees. It’s the nanny state at its worst. What do we pay taxes for? It’s like getting an allowance and then being told what you can spend it on. Then when you find out that your parents took your allowance money and bought state department cables, you can’t fuckin’ play with them,” Beck said.

“Fuck that! VIVA WIKILEAKS!!!” Beck cried. “Freedom to choose is all that matters. Give me bareback! And/Or give me Death!!