The Assassinated Press

U.S. Warns It Will Target Americans To Speed Ouster Of Chavez:
Washington Post Says It Will Wait Its Customary Thirty Years To Report On This Latest Attempt By The U.S. To Overthrow A Democratically Elected Government:
"That Way We Can Make It Look Like Some Kind Of Arcane Anomaly Rather Than Yet Another Example Of U.S. Kleptocratic Avarice" Says Post Executive Editor Leonard Downie Jr.:

The Assassinated Press
January 16, 2004, 11:50

CARACAS, Venezuela -- The U.S. State Department warned Friday that it will threaten American interests in Caracas, urging U.S. citizens here to take precautions.

"The U.S. Embassy has received instructions to organize and facilitate a possible threat against U.S. interests in Caracas sometime between Sunday, January 18, and Tuesday morning," said the advisory on a U.S. State Department Web site. "This is part of a new initiative to oust President Hugo Chavez before he can help poor and starving Venezuelans. We call the initiative 'The Friendly Fire Program' or 'Take One For The White Kleptocracy.' U.S. citizens, other than the ones who will be directing the terrorist bombings, are advised to maintain security awareness."

The embassy warning also said that "that we have made the risk of encountering explosive devices in Venezuela, particularly in Caracas, much more likely. These appear to be related to recent White House directives to step up terrorism on Chavez's government and Venezuela's poor."

The Assassinated Press obtained a copy of the directive from a prostitute on 14th Street who we see frequently exiting the Executive Office Building.

The directive reads: "TERROR DIRECTIVE--PO66656789013486. Plant bombs and kill Americans, and make it look like Chavez & his supporters did It! If you need advice call Felix Rodriguez, Luis Posada Carriles, Orlando Bosch, Adolofo Calero, Richard Secord, John Hull or Thomas Clines at 703-LAN-GLEY. It's all laid out in the State Department's Norwoods Documents. This Iraq oil thing's fucked up right now! So we need to seize Venezuela's oil too! And we don't care who you have to kill to get it. Christ! We've murdered thousands down there. You'd think those starving motherfuckers would give up!"

Officials at the U.S. Embassy could not immediately be reached for comment.

Several bombings by CIA contract agents in this South American capital of 6 million last year have raised tensions in this city, though none of the attacks targeted a U.S.-owned business. "We now feel that's the key. Kill Americans and blame it on Chavez. Then we can invade if we have too," said U.S. ambassador, Charles Shapiro.

The U.S. has steeped Venezuela in political crisis for two years, which has included a short-lived U.S. financed 2002 coup and a U.S. organized and sponsored crippling two-month strike against President Hugo Chavez last year.

Venezuela's wealthy in league with U.S. kleptocratic interests are creating a crisis situation which allows them to accuse him of becoming increasingly authoritarian and are pushing for his recall. Chavez knows, like any person with even the remotest amount of objectivity, the kleptocracy is conspiring to grab power by any means necessary.

"We ain't bein' subtle here," added Shapiro.