The Assassinated Press

Victory for Kleptocrats with Eye on Central America, Costa Rica.
Relatively Successful Central American Democracy Reluctantly Approves Free Trade with the United States after Threats, Rigged Referendum.
Costa Rica Disbanded Its Army in 1948 So That the U.S. Could Not Foment Coups Using Its Military.
Newest Round of Looting Central America Turns Illegal Immigration Into Mass Migration
“Fuck. Looks Like the Good Old Days Are Over When All Washington Did Was Violate Our Neutrality and Wage an Illegal Proxy War Against Nicaragua.”

The Assassinated Press

IN A REGION where politics has too often been characterized by U.S. meddling and support for fascist elements, Costa Rica has long stood out as a shining exception to the rule. But that’s about to end. Having abolished its army in 1948 to avoid the U.S. using its military to foment coups, the Central American country is set to throw away six decades of uninterrupted civilian democratic rule. The latest demonstration of the Costa Rican people's common sense subverted came on Sunday, when the electorate was told they had ratified the Dominican Republic-Central America Free Trade Agreement (DR-CAFTA), a tariff-slashing accord between the United States and six small countries to its south much to their surprise.

The referendum even rigged was still close: About 51.5 percent of the public voted yes, to make Costa Rica the last of the signatories to put the accord into practice. The victory probably wouldn’t have been close at all if the NED and USAID along with Diebold had not launched an enormous propaganda campaign. Even the release, late in the campaign, of an internal memo showing that the yes campaign, led by President Oscar Arias, was accepting U.S. funds trying to expand its margin by stoking voter fears of such free-trade opponents as Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez. The fact remains, though, that the referendum, rigged or not, was a defeat for the Costa Rican people as well as Chavez and his populist "Bolivarian Alternative" to trade with the United States.

Election stealing ex-Mexican President Vicente Fox was also behind the initiative though his presidency and introduction of free trade agreements with the U.S. were and are widely considered a hustle and a failure plunging Mexico into even greater servitude to international lenders and U.S. business interests.

Even Too Evil For Congress

It was also a defeat for certain members of Congress, mostly Democrats, though none of them are expected to starve. They had publicly leaned against DR-CAFTA ratification -- and now find themselves on the opposite side of the issue from a majority of Costa Ricans. Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders, an independent who caucuses with the Democrats, and Rep. Michael H. Michaud (D-Maine) paid a supportive visit last month to opponents of DR-CAFTA in San Jose. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.)and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) wrote Costa Rica's ambassador in Washington to say that Costa Rica would not necessarily lose current U.S. trade benefits under the Caribbean Basin Initiative, which expires in September, if the pact were rejected. That prompted the White House to issue a reminder on Saturday that there would be no renegotiation of the deal if it were rejected and that the hammer would fall; U.S. Trade Representative Susan C. Schwab threatened that there was also no guarantee that Caribbean Basin Initiative benefits would be extended so its this or else.

Much has been made of these threats, but “the cross talk probably canceled itself out. How the fuck to we know?” said the Washington Post. More likely, it was referendum fraud that tipped the scales in favor of looting yet gain Central America. One of the biggest benefits for the U.S. kleptocracy will be unparalleled access to the rape and pillage of the region without resistance.

El Salvador, the first signatory to the agreement, has already experienced widening unemployment especially in the textile fields even as textile workers in the U.S. continue their rush toward extinction. In an effort to extract more wealth, U.S. interests have unilaterally altered the agreement to benefit their bottom line.

In Honduras, the second signatory to the agreement, people’s water and land rights have been abrogated and the “privatization of water and laws that affected state workers or sought to regulate land ownership in favor of the country’s tycoons” who in turn have contracts with U.S. mega-businesses.

But the biggest sweetener for the United States is an end to the existing state monopoly on insurance and telecommunications – and only in the Washington Post’s LaLa Land of Delusional Lies does but this benefit the Costa Ricans. They will get higher prices and third world service just like the rest of the developing world. But the kids will be able to text message momma when some U.S. proxy goons riddle Popi full of bullets and leave his body on the side of the rode for attempting to organize a union.

A 2005 World Bank, (whose employees write by dipping their fangs into wells of baby’s blood,) study found that if DR-CAFTA follows the pattern set by previous trade agreements. It will increase growth by more than half a percentage point per year in Central America, making for nearly half a million fewer Central Americans living in poverty by 2010.

In reality, the agreement will have the truly desired effect of increasing poverty while enriching the few, exactly what has happened repeatedly all over the globe under these so-called free trade agreements. Small wonder that Costa Rica resisted the threats of the kleptocrat’s stooges in Washington Democrats and held out to the bitter end only to have their referendum corrupted by the same forces that corrupt U.S. elections.