The Assassinated Press

"Itch Bin Ein Cabana.":
Bush Told To Tell Jeb And The Miami Mafia That CIA Plans To Step Up Attacks On Cuba:
Iraq and Afghanistan Fucked Up? Iran and North Korea Nuked Up? Let's Beat Up On Cuba!:
The Evil Pimpyre Of Dick Darth

The Assassinated Press
October 11, 2003

Washington - Faux President George W. Bush vowed Friday to abet the Miami Cuban drug, prostitution and gambling cartels' return to Cuba and to return the island nation to its former glory as the Best Little Whorehouse in the Americas. Bush was told to read that the United States will beef up its travel restrictions to Cuba and has out sourced $40,000,000 to organize a special public relations task force to hustle more Cubans into fleeing the island. "America hasn't been able to piss off the porch, if you know what I mean, since the White Devil lost Cuba," Bush roared as the crowd surged to its feet for a standing ovation.

He also bitterly denounced Haitian boat people as deceitful and selfish for trying to disguise themselves as Cubans to gain entry into the U.S. When this reporter queried Bush as to why so few Cuban boat people were black like the Haitians, the diminutive Texan replied, "Some Cuban darkies got in!? Damn, I specifically promised my brother, Jeb, no darkies." He denied the light years between U.S. approaches to Cuban and Haitian immigration policy had anything to do with race. "I'm not a raceman," Bush declared, "Itch bin ein Cabana."

He ventured on, "Clearly, the Castro regime will not surrender and be killed by its own choice. We've tried the CIA's way and got the, aptly named Bay of Pigs. Sounds like barbecue at the beach. Don't it? Somebody at Langley had quite a self-deprecating sense of humor. Probably, Frank Wisner. Ed Lansdale's operation Mongoose was like Halloween for mass murderers, everybody dressin' up like priests and nuns and all, even my daddy. And Dr. Sidney Gottlieb was like half Lucrezia Borgia and half Nutty Professor.

"But Cuba must change back to the U.S.'s $2.00 whore it once was," he told an invited audience of Cuban exiles, organized crime figures, casino operators, the National Association of Flesh Peddlers, the anti-Castro terrorist group, Alpha 66, the Fort Detrick Bridge Club, the Semtex Corporation, the Committee For the Preservation of the Economic Interpretation of Social Darwinism and Phrenology, the Illuminati(Palm Springs chapter), The Sons of Pantagruel, the International Brotherhood of Baseball Scouts and Meat Packers Union, the Sons of Sicily, lobbyists for Hit Man International Ltd., Cosmetic Surgeons Without Borders, the Meyer Lansky fan club, the Friends of Carlos Marcello, the Hernan Cortez Olympic Crossbow Team and others during a Rose Garden British style tea and flogging ceremony as he gears up for the 2004 presidential scam. "If any group of people would sell out their own countrymen, its, you my friends, gathered here in this room," Bush warmly added with a hopeful wink of recognition.

Some of Castro's most ardent Cuban-American opponents in the arms, drugs and white slavery industries - who say Bush should have done more to foster democratic change in Cuba - also represent a vital source of back door money in Florida, a bribe-rich swing state that Bush has visited frequently since taking office in 2001.

A quick reprise of the history of the Caribbean as well as Central and South America will clarify what anti-Castro Cubans as well as the Cheney/Bush administration mean by "foster[ing] democratic change."

For instance:

The United States itself. The U. S. "fostered democracy" in the U.S. by stealing the land from its indigenous peoples and then stealing the Iroquois Five Nations governing system and turning into a concession stand for greed and exploitation.

Mexico. Steal half of it, annex it, and leave hundreds of thousands of Mexican citizens stranded in a foreign country.

Guatemala. Organize a CIA coup to overthrow the democratically elected government of Jacobo Arbenz and install a series of military regimes that murder tens of thousands of Guatemalans mostly Indians.

El Salvador. The U.S. supports a tiny, decidedly undemocratic elite comprised of the 13 families that have enslaved much of the population. When a coalition of rebel groups, the FMLN, form, the democracy loving Carter and Reagan administrations spend billions to thwart it in a country of six and a half million.

Honduras. Prop up regimes that bump off any opposition to U.S. economic authority in that country and the region. Use Honduran territory for Contra terrorist camps.

Nicaragua. After the Sandinistas' successful revolution that overthrew the U.S. supported, brutal dictatorships of the Somoza family; after the Sandinistas win a democratic presidential election in 1984, the Reagan administration steps up its financing of a terrorist organization which comes to be known as the Contras. In 1934, Augusto Sandino, who led a revolt against U.S. hegemony in Nicaragua in the 1920's & '30s was treacherously assassinated with U.S. encouragement. Among the U.S. Military figures who were sent to 'pacify' Nicaragua was Marine Major-General Smedley Butler, the only man ever to receive the Medal of Honor---twice. In 1933 speech, he would have this to say about U.S. foreign policy in the region and elsewhere.

"War is just a racket. A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of people. Only a small inside group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few at the expense of the masses. I believe in adequate defense at the coastline and nothing else. If a nation comes over here to fight, then we'll fight. The trouble with America is that when the dollar only earns 6 percent over here, then it gets restless and goes overseas to get 100 percent. Then the flag follows the dollar and the soldiers follow the flag.

"I wouldn't go to war again as I have done to protect some lousy investment of the bankers. There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket.

"There isn't a trick in the racketeering bag that the military gang is blind to. It has its "finger men" to point out enemies, its "muscle men" to destroy enemies, its "brain men" to plan war preparations, and a "Big Boss" Super-Nationalistic-Capitalism.

"It may seem odd for me, a military man to adopt such a comparison. Truthfulness compels me to. I spent thirty- three years and four months in active military service as a member of this country's most agile military force, the Marine Corps. I served in all commissioned ranks from Second Lieutenant to Major-General. And during that period, I spent most of my time being a high class muscle- man for Big Business, for Wall Street and for the Bankers. In short, I was a racketeer, a gangster for capitalism.

"I suspected I was just part of a racket at the time. Now I am sure of it. Like all the members of the military profession, I never had a thought of my own until I left the service. My mental faculties remained in suspended animation while I obeyed the orders of higher-ups. This is typical with everyone in the military service.

"I helped make Mexico, especially Tampico, safe for American oil interests in 1914. I helped make Haiti and Cuba a decent place for the National City Bank boys to collect revenues in. I helped in the raping of half a dozen Central American republics for the benefits of Wall Street. The record of racketeering is long. I helped purify Nicaragua for the international banking house of Brown Brothers in 1909-1912 (where have I heard that name before?). I brought light to the Dominican Republic for American sugar interests in 1916. In China I helped to see to it that Standard Oil went its way unmolested.

"During those years, I had, as the boys in the back room would say, a swell racket. Looking back on it, I feel that I could have given Al Capone a few hints. The best he could do was to operate his racket in three districts. I operated on three continents."

And so goes the astonishing record of U.S. 'support for democracy.' We could have reprised the torching of fair elections in the Dominican Republic in 1965 because the U.S. stooge wasn't gonna win.

We could have mentioned the economic desertification of Haiti since the early nineteenth century slave revolt against the French (reprise Viet Nam after World War II when the U.S. armed the just defeated Japanese to protect French interests there against the Viet Minh) and the overthrow of Father Aristide by U.S. bought forces.

We could have mentioned U.S. designed coups to overthrow democratically elected governments training, arming and using the military in Brazil, Uruguay and Chile.

We could have told stories of treachery like the U.S. sponsored murder of 5000 members of the political arm of the Colombian FARC, the Patriotic Union, AFTER an amnesty had been declared and as the Patriotic Union prepared to win municipal and district elections throughout the country.

We could go on about the CIA's lavish program to overthrow the current elected government of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela. We could systematically reprise a history of U.S. intervention and slaughter the length and breadth of Latin America and the Caribbean. Then we could do the same for the rest of the globe, Europe included. But for now...

Bush said the United States would step up enforcement of existing subversive and terrorist activity against Cuba's Communist government, such as the renewed use of WMD against the island population a la Ed Lansdale's Operation Mongoose and the Phoenix Program. Bush said CIA and FBI personnel disguised as U.S. Customs agents will step up illegal detention and interrogations of people going to and from Cuba. He alluded to one hopeful sign that Cuba was on the road to U.S. style democracy, the "illicit sex trade" surrounding Cuba's tourism industry, but offered no specific evidence of such a problem to the great disappointment of his audience.

He promised to increase Cuban immigration via a public outreach campaign to identify "the many 'white asses' still on the island." He pledged to funnel even more C-4 explosive to the Miami Cubans through Radio and TV Marti's Hugs For Drugs program.

"The Cheney administration is determined to bring death and deprivation to the people of Cuba," Bush said. He said he was directed to say that Secretary of State Colon Pile and Housing Secretary Mel 'Blank' Martinez will chair a commission that will develop a plan to help Cuba move back into the sphere of other American sponsored Caribbean and Latin American democratic enterprises such as Montesino/Fujimori Peru, Pinochet's Chile, Salinas's Mexico, Rios Montt's Guatemala, or the late D'Aubisson's El Salvador whenever Castro, who has ruled Cuba since 1959, is assassinated.

"The Cuban population will have to accept the standard of living of their neighbors, White America excluded. Cubans will have to trade their universal healthcare for Gloebbleization's low paying or non-existent factory jobs. Cubans must return to the near universal illiteracy rate of their neighbors in order to again be docile. Cuba needs a greater disparity of wealth in order to develop a more colorful culture of poverty to be exploited by the entertainment industry and to have any concern for the disparity declared class warfare.

Bush diddled on, "We must end this gap between Cuban children with first rate baseball equipment and the impoverished, yet 'democratic' Dominicans. How else can Real Sports resume doing sentimental, condescending stories about youthful pre-Castro Cuban ball players converting empty milk cartons into baseball gloves like their destitute yet 'free' Dominican peers who have had the benefit of U.S. democratic tutelage O Lo these many, many decades. As Brian Gumpy says,'Nothing is out of bounds?'" But something sure is foul.

"The transition back to enslavement will present many privations to the Cuban people and to America, and we will be prepared to stick it to 'em," the president said. Amnesty International, in its usual sold out, compromised way, expressed some concerns about Bush's proposals, saying they were "far from forward-looking" and would only hurt the people they are meant to help as though their was anything other than murder and theft on the minds of the Administration and the economic forces that wind them up every morning.

"At a time when the U.S. should put effective human rights strategies at the core of its Cuba policy, it may well have succeeded in doing the opposite," said executive director William Schulz. As though that weren't the U.S. intention and worse. What? Amnesty International and these other rights groups think they can trick or cajole the Cheneys and the Rumsfelds of the world into not murdering for money? If you take a liar at his word, your response is a lie. So much for the AI creeps.

Bush concluded, "We know that the enemy of every tyrant is the truth. That's why I'm shocked they haven't hanged Dick and Don by now. And little Kindasleezie too.

Fortunately for us, Americans wouldn't want to know the truth if it shat in their collective pie hole. And, by now, it would be so foreign to them it would indeed taste like shit. I mean, what can they do now? Can the American people claim that they didn't know about the millions of murders we, "their betters," to quote Woodrow Wilson, commit and have committed in their name? Who's going to believe them? Certainly not the aggrieved. And anybody who cops to the Nuremberg defense, "We did not know", would receive severe retribution.

So we can go to sleep at night assured that Americans will never want to know the truth. We can awake confident that Americans will continue to support our plans for military and economic conquest and slaughter. For the American people to do otherwise at this late date would be tantamount to suicide. To admit to the mass murders done in their name might be the last thing they uttered if they were in the wrong company. They must kill on for us in order to preserve themselves. They are us---killers but without the yachts, the servants, the gated communities, and the billions of looted dollars much of it from their own Treasury.

We, the elite, have nothing to fear from the U.S. citizenry. The American psyche cannot go anywhere. Americans have no choice but to continue to die for their lifestyle and for the kleptocracy that most benefits from that lifestyle's enormous excesses and intense addictions. Americans are not free to change their murderous destiny. Top that Fidel!"

my copy right or wrong The Assassinated Press 10/11/2003