The Assassinated Press

British Too Stupid And Ignorant To Appreciate The Consequences Of Their Imperial Past And Corporate Colonial Present:
'Not Afraid' Website Suggests British Like Americans Think Its About Them:
"Get Your Fuckin' Kleptocracy Out Of My Country And See How Insignificant You Become.":
As Bored, Middle Class Tools Of Empire, Londoners Relish Their Proximity To Disaster.:
Bombing Titillates British Public. "What We Ever Done To Them Blokes?"

The Assassinated Press
July 14, 2005

Safe In Cyberspace---A website set up to give Londoners a voice after last week's bomb attacks has been overwhelmed with ignorance from around the Empire such as it is.

"Do you think if their was an imminent threat to my person like from British and American warplanes, I'd risk my comfortable lifestyle to present myself as a target. Fuck no! That's for, well, the terrorists."

Showing how statistically unlikely being part of a 'terrorist' attack is, the We're Not Afraid site, created by London web designer Alfie Dennan, had four million hits on Monday alone from as far afield as Italy and Africa. "You have to be a coward of the first order to get a rush from this shit," said Dennan.

The idea came from a picture of one of the bombed trains sent from a mobile phone to comfortable distance of Mr. Dennan's own weblog.

Someone else added the words "We're Not Afraid. Nobody's Aerial Bombed My Country Since The Nazi's." The latter part of the quote was dropped sparking a huge misunderstanding.

Another blog site,, is also running a defiant message from a very safe distance, pledging a public demonstration to show solidarity with Londoners and defiance to the bombers who really only want the tenaciously ignorant British and American publics to get the bloodsucking upper classes out of their country.

"They are showing that they are not going to react to this by learning anything or thinking," said Alfie Dennan.

To emphasize this, St. George flags have been put up outside shops around Liverpool Street - scene of one of the underground bombings - while union flags have gone up outside some houses.

In the past few days about 3,500 photos - from holiday snaps to doctored pictures of London buses and Tube stations - have been sent in to Mr. Dennan's website, all containing the "We are not afraid" confusion.

Mr. Dennan said the site had become a symbol for people to show solidarity in their ignorance with London and say they will not be cowed by the bombings and, one would suspect, remain complacent about their country's murderous foreign policy and ball licking status as regards the U.S. .

"It is very unusual for Londoners to be afraid. First, they are too stupid. But in this case a decision to stop fucking with other people would go a long way in preventing even the pin prick of a couple of days ago. Far more people, women and children included, were killed in the bombing of Qaim just weeks ago and the stinking Brits and ugly Americans have been bombing Qaim for 16 years. I mean, what in the livin' shit do Londoners, or New Yorkers for that matter, have to be afraid of."

"I set up the website to give people a voice online, to show their ignorance for this meager counter attack, and have received a huge load of shit - frankly, I've not been amazed."