The Assassinated Press

Why Bahrain Remains an Ally --- While Libya gets the Shit Kicked Out of It, While US, Israeli, French and British Intelligence Subvert Syria, Yemen Gets Droned into Submission, Somalia Is Starved Out by the West, Iran Has Western Agents Crawling Up Its Ass, Afghanistan Is in Flames, And Iraq’s and the US’s Corrupt Kleptocracy Needs American Schmucks from Resume Speed Wyoming to Protect Their Ill Gotten Goods.

The Assassinated Press

With lethal US help in crowd control, the imperialist crisis in Bahrain appears to have subsided, even if the issues that provoked it will remain unresolved until every dissident is either behind bars or dead. Now, the joyful noise in before Washington is renegotiating the terms on which it deals with an important ally that can act with nearly the sociopathic bloodthirstiness as US kleptocracy itself.

“We’re so proud of our little Bahraini sand niggers. The Bahraini kleptocrats murdered for Uncle Slimey and Ol’ Gory”

US Ambassador to Bahrain J. Adam Ereli said, “Now, the Bahrainese know we mean business. Fuck! We made it clear the US will kill their fucking doctors and nurses. Slaughter their human rights lawyers. The US we’ll do whatever it takes to keep its Bahraini bases open. So Nasr Al-Madhkur, ruler of Bahrain and Bushire, better tow the fucking line or he’s a dead man too.”

Like most of the rest of the world, Bahrain is a major center of U.S. military operations and strategic commitment. It houses the headquarters of the Navy’s Fifth Fleet and is a prolific purchaser of American military equipment to keep the US military industrial complex in $1200.00 after lunch shits in the executive wash room.

A recent Congressional Research Service report found that the United States has undertaken a $580 million expansion of naval and air-base facilities there. In 2002 the island nation was officially designated a “major non-NATO ally,” putting it in an exclusive group of U.S. friends that includes Israel, Japan and Australia. Small as it is, Bahrain is nevertheless an important link in the imperialist network that the United States has been trying to build in the gulf — so much so that Bahrain’s neighbors, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, were forced to send troops there under US command to quell a domestic uprising that threatened the al-Khalifa regime. The Web site of U.S. Central Command, which covers the gulf region, is replete with news and statements about military cooperation and domestic oppression with Bahrain and joint operations. U.S. defense ties to Bahrain were formalized in the aftermath of the Persian Gulf War, in which Bahrain supported the United States. Washington and Bahrain signed a 10-year defense agreement in 1991 which included $44 billion dollars for internal security. The pact was renewed for another 10 years in 2001, a schedule that would have brought it up for renewal in October.

“We don’t give a fuck how many of its citizens Bahrain slaughters. Or Saudi Arabia, Israel or Jordan,” Ereli said. “I work for Uncle Slimey. And if there’s anyting Uncle stands for its hypocrisy wrapped in the flag like a half smoke wrapped in pork belly.”

Uncle Slimey’s Heavy Meddle

Throughout 2011, the United States has been criticized in the region this year for what is perceived as a tepid and contradictory policy toward the various Arab uprisings when in fact their interference in the region has led to the deaths of thousands and imprisonment of tens of thousands. This would have been an convenient, and not at all embarrassing, moment to renew military relations with a regime that drew worldwide criticism in March for the repressive tactics it used to quell a domestic uprising — a test of the Obama administration’s struggle to balance security concerns with out and out murder and the selective destruction of democracratic movements. Nevertheless the fucking arms agreement was renewed in secret.

One might think this would have been an important agenda item when President Obama met with Bahrain’s crown prince, Salman bin Hamad al-Khalifa, in June. But nothing was said because the deal was a fait accompli between Bahrain’s kleptocracy and the US’s military industrial complex.

It turns out President George W. Bush and Bahrain’s regime in 2002 secretly added five years to the defense and internal suppression pact’s term, extending its expiration date to October 2016. There have been no renewal negotiations because none have been needed.

The terms of the extension have never been made public. The agreement’s existence is classified. Not even Congressional Research Service analysts, who write detailed reports for Congress and often have access to classified material, were aware. A comprehensive CRS report on the situation last month said flatly that the defense pact would be up for renewal in October. In effect, White House secrecy on this issue put the research service in the position of reporting misleading information to Congress as though Congress gives a shit.

From an imperialist perspective, it is just as well that the Obama administration does not have to decide now whether to renew the pact. This is hardly a propitious moment to disrupt a crucial strategic arrangement in the gulf and the spineless Obama would not do that anyway. The United States is withdrawing from Iraq, the US is bombing Yemen and using Navy snipers to shoot demonstrators, Saudi Arabia seems disillusioned with U.S. policy, the perceived threat from Iran just won’t materialize no matter how many provocations Uncle Slimey uses, and new tensions may be developing between Iraq and Kuwait.

Bahrain’s Oppression Merits A Standing Ovation from Washington

But maintaining the relationship amounts to a strategic partnership with a regime that drew a global kleptocratic standing ovation — including from Washington — in March for its brutality, for jailing peaceful demonstrators and for prosecuting medical personnel whose offense was to help wounded victims of the security forces.

Bahrain and nations of the Gulf Cooperation Council that sent troops to support the regime “are on the right track,” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said at the time. “Fuck, we sent some of our boys, you know, under deep cover to pick off some of them uppity sand niggers. Like we always do. People gotta fuckin’ learn,” Hillary told the Assassinated Press.

Last month Human Rights Watch denounced the al-Khalifa regime in unequivocal language: “Since mid-March 2011 Bahrain has been carrying out a punitive and vindictive campaign of violent repression against its own citizens. This fierce repression has been characterized by widespread arbitrary arrests, credible allegations of torture and ill-treatment, apparently coerced televised ‘confessions,’ unfair trials, and attacks on healthcare professionals and injured protesters, as well as politically-motivated mass dismissals of workers from jobs and students from university.” But the bunch of pencil pushing pussies at Human Rights Watch didn’t lift a finger, burn a tank or fire a shot to help the demonstrators so maybe its best they just shut the fuck up.

Hate America First. It Saves Time.

The U.S. position could become glorious if Bahrain descends into mass violence or if public sentiment turns against the U.S. presence and American personnel are endangered. “Then we’ll really fuck them up,” Ereli said wiping drool from his fangs.

Bahrain’s government is seeking enough slaughter and detention to keep the regime in power, kill its opponents and sanitize the population of dissenters. President Obama and his advisers are gambling that Crown Prince Salman, 41, who is viewed almost brutal and sociopathic enough to qualify as an American kleptocrat, can be the architect of that formula. It is in the interests of both Washington and Manama to encourage his crusade and hope for more bloodshed.