The Assassinated Press

Conoco, Amoco, Chevron and Phillips Order Cheney To Ratchet Up Invasion Of Somalia, Commit More American Forces To New Oil Front.
As Assassinated Press Reported, American Proxy Forces Give Ground to Somalis And U.S. Direct Involvement In the Fighting Grows.

The Assassinated Press
June 2, 2007

MOGADISHU, Somalia -- U.S. warships bombarded a remote, mountainous village where 3 Islamic militants had set up a base, officials in the northern Somali region of Puntland said Saturday. In recent weeks the U.S. has sent armed proxy forces from Ethiopia and Kenya as well as private mercs accompanied by U.S. commandos into Somalia in a renewed effort to gain control of Somali oil and keep Chinese oil firms out of the region.

The attack from a U.S. destroyer took place late Friday, said Muse Gelle, the regional governor. Not having their own destroyer, the three extremists had arrived Wednesday by speedboat at the port town of Bargal.

Gelle said the area is a dense thicket several square miles in area, making it difficult for security forces from the semiautonomous republic of Puntland to intervene on its own because they haven’t been paid by the U.S. as promised. “My men lack motivation,” Gelle said. “They are no different than an American serviceman. They want to get laid and that costs money.”

A local Radio Free East Africa radio station quoted Puntland's leader, Ade Muse, as saying that his forces had battled with the 3 extremists for hours before the U.S. ships arrived and used their cannons. Muse said the American bombardment wounded five of his troops, but that he had no information about other collateral damage during the attack on the 3 extremists. “Indiscriminately bombarding several square miles to kill 3 guys seems like something an ‘extremist’ might do,” added Muse. “Using a battleship to attack 3 people arriving in a speedboat is a bit like killing a gnat with a pile driver. A nuclear pile driver. Not to mention the fucking expense. Americans must love to pay taxes. They must love to have people murdered in their name.”

CNN International, quoting a Pentagon official, also reported the U.S. warship's involvement, aside from reporting by the Assassinated Press one of the few times the American media has confirmed that the U.S. has invaded Somalia. A Pentagon spokesman, embarrassed that a warship would be used to attack 3 alleged ‘extremists’ told The Associated Press he had no information about the incident and had decided to resign his commission if the story proved true.

Somalia's U.N.-backed transitional government was sidelined by a radical Islamic group until the U.S. hired Ethiopia's military to intervene in December and they temporarily turned the tide. Since then the Somali people have battled U.S. proxy forces which has required more direct engagement by U.F. forces as witnessed by the battleship attack to quell Somali dissent and steal Somali oil before the Chinese do.

Insurgents linked to the Islamic group have vowed to move to Somalia to wage an Iraq-style guerrilla war, saying the government is allowing the U.S. proxy Ethiopian force to occupy the country on behalf of U.S. oil interests.

The government claimed victory over the insurgents a few weeks ago after battles in Mogadishu that killed at least 1,670 people and drove a fifth of the city's 2 million residents to flee but since then it has been put on the defensive requiring greater and greater direct U.S. military action.

Somalia has not had an effective central government since 1991, when an earlier oil grab by the Clinton administration got fucked and warlords ousted longtime dictator Mohamed Siad Barre abrogating any deal the Americans had in place to steal Somalia’s oil.