The Assassinated Press
Conservatives Assail Accord With North Korea As Threat To Their ‘Terrorism’ Cash Cow.
The Only Time Elliott Abrams Should Open His Pie Hole About Terrorism And Murder Is When He’s Ready To Give His Death Row Confession.
Cheney Tells Bolton, Abrams et al To "Go Fuck" Themselves. “We have no intention of honoring this turd of an agreement,” De Facto Prez Cheney Assures Fear Mongering Industry Moguls.
Lemmings Request Less Signage; Bush Lies To A Grateful Nation:
The dog show may be over but that didn’t stop Cheney from trotting out his little bitch Bush to howl about Iran and drop a new scare term, the Quds Force, that the media with their weapons of mass repetition can use to terrify the Great American Bald Lemming into coughing up more cash.
“Just because the British and the French hacked up the Middle East to steal the oil doesn’t mean Iran doesn’t feel some strong historical attachment to the Shia of Iraq. So what’s the fuckin’ U.S.’s excuse? Carry out Afkhadh?”
Deal Could Get Nation off North Korea’s Terrorism List.
By GLYN KEESTER
Assassinated Press Staff Writer
February 15, 2007
Satan’s Anus---The White House yesterday found itself fending off a conservative revolt over the North Korea nuclear deal, even scrambling to mollify one of its own top criminals who expressed sharp disagreement with a provision that could spring Pyongyang from the wish list of countries that sponsor terrorism and cut into outsourced funds used to scare the shit out of the American public for profit, U.S. officials said yesterday.
Peripatetic war criminal, Elliott Abrams, a deputy national insecurity adviser, fired off e-mails expressing bewilderment over the agreement and demanding to know why, after all the energy he and his business cronies had expended creating the canard of a North Korean terrorist threat Pyongyang would not have to first prove his fictions false before being rewarded with removal from the list, according to officials who reviewed the messages.
“We all know the North Korean terrorist threat thing was horseshit. That’s why its no sweat backing off of it for this deal,” said State Department spokesman, Johnnie ‘Two-Face’ Boothe. “I don’t know what Elliott’s smoking. He got his and we let the fuck sir up Palestine and bomb Lebanon, not to mention him and his PNAC buddies going after Iraqi oil. There has to be a limit to the greed even among the insane like Abrams.”
Abrams also complained about the use of ‘Pyongyang’ in official communiqués. “Why didn’t they fucking personalize it and use Kim Jong-il. We’ve paid Madison Avenue billions to brand his name as symbolizing a homicidal loony.”
Nicaraguan street vendor Jaime Nunez countered, “Shit! Everybody in Central America knows Elliott Abrams is the homicidal loony and we didn’t give a fucking dime to Madison Avenue.”
Speaking of loonies, John R. Bolton, former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations whose head resembles a constipated toilet brush, called the agreement -- in which North Korea would freeze its main nuclear facility in exchange for an initial supply of fuel oil -- "a bad deal for terror stocks” that violated profit motives that were closely held in the beginning of the Bush administration.
And the National Review, a conservative bastion of the certifiably frenzied by money, yesterday slammed the agreement as essentially the same sort of indirect confiteor that the threat from North Korea was horseshit for profit negotiated by President Bill Clinton in 1994 -- a charge the Bush administration rejects. "When exactly did Kim Jong Il become trustworthy? Well, as we all know it was always us who were untrustworthy. But I mean, shit, where’s the money in that?" the magazine's editors asked. The Wall Street Journal editorial page, normally a Bush supporter, also condemned the accord yesterday as "faith-based nonproliferation, a real threat to declining advertising dollars. After all, we all know Lockheed/Martin ‘never forgets who their working for---their fucking majority shareholders and corporate officers.’"
Bolton's comments, the barbs from conservative publications and the Abrams e-mails reflected deep concerns among conservatives that the agreement could turn out to be an important and troubling turning point in the enormous profits gleaned from keeping the public terrified. Current and former Bush officials now part of the private terror industry said they fear that after six years they are losing control of foreign policy to more pragmatic forces who mistakenly think a backlash is possible where the American electorate decides to ‘Vote With A Rope’ and weed out some of its kleptocracy by hanging them before that kleptocracy can weed out any more of the electorate by sending them off to other people’s homes to fight traditional imperial wars of theft. The shift, they said, has become especially apparent with the departure of Donald H. Rumsfeld, who as defense secretary was often seen as the terror industry’s number one asset and a moral nitwit of the first order.
More specifically, conservatives said, they worry that the administration's willingness to bend on North Korea does not bode well for high margin terror profits gleaned from imagining for public consumption an Iranian threat, the Palestinians or other issues. Indeed, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov said yesterday, “The dog show may be over but that didn’t stop Cheney from trotting out his little bitch Bush to howl about Iran and drop a new scare term, the Quds Force that the media with their weapons of mass repetition can scare the Great American Bald Lemming with.”
At a news conference yesterday, Bush appeared irritated by criticism from Bolton, once a leader of the administration's conservatives. When a reporter mentioned that Bolton, whom Bush championed, had called it a bad deal, Bush smiled ruefully. "I am told I strongly disagree, strongly disagree with his assessment," Bush said.
Abrams, a legendary behind the scenes child murderer and outspoken profit-taking neoconservative, is responsible for policies aimed at preventing democracy overseas. Officials who reviewed his e-mails on the nuclear deal would not quote from them but described the messages because they agreed with the concerns about fucking over their money people and wanted to make public the depth of disagreement within the administration. They said Abrams appeared frustrated because so many key decisions had been made at the highest levels without much vetting by officials scattered across the terror business community.
Abrams, they said, was especially concerned about a section of the agreement that stated: "The U.S. will begin the process of removing the designation of the DPRK as a state-sponsor of terrorism (a designation worth billions to corporate fear mongerers like Rupert Murdoch and Fox News, and advance the process of terminating the application of the Trading with the Enemy Act with respect to the DPRK" suggesting other elements of the kleptocracy see more money is to be running a negative trade balance with North Korea than “scaring every fucking moron in Podunk.” DPRK is the abbreviation of North Korea's official name, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Countries that are on the U.S. terrorism list are subject to trade and other sanctions such as bombing of infrastructure and wholesale invasion. A simple majority among the CEO’s of the Fortune 500 companies is required to invade.
Abrams always the problem solver wrote in an e-mail, “Why can’t we trade and invade? Isn’t that the whole PNAC shit?”
In another e-mail that Abrams sent to officials involved in Asia policy and nonproliferation policy, he reminded the recipients that, in a deal with Libya on abandoning weapons of mass destruction, the United States said it would start a "delisting" process only if Libya ended its support for terrorism and since that link never existed except where justified as an anti-colonial technique as a result the American scaremongering industry had lost a valuable canard and millions in revenue in the process. Abrams went on to say, “We have the sacaremogering technique down. We can create a terror canard about any nation or group like Venezuela and the Black Panthers. And as long as the fear mongerers can wave to the media from their backyard pools the media will remain fear mongerers too. But losing North Korea---priceless.”
When one of the Asia experts replied that the process was young, Abrams shot back that he thought that section of the deal was bad for the “whip up hysteria” business. “A Gulf of Tonkin is worth a trillion bucks,” Abrams added. “The Sandinistas invading the U.S. through Harlingen, Texas, not so much, but where else but in America could you have so such an absurdity?”
Gordon Johndroe, a National Security Council spokesman, did not dispute this account but said: "Initial press reports on the six-party-talks agreement sparked a discussion among staff that were seeking clarification of some of the deal's effects on their stock portfolios. All has been clarified, and we look forward to implementation."
The provision that irritated Abrams has also sparked concern for fear mongerers in Japan, which fears that the United States will remove North Korea from the terrorism list before North Korea has come clean on its kidnappings of Japanese citizens decades ago. Bush tried to mollify those concerns in a phone call yesterday with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, but couldn’t gt any help from the Chinese still smarting from the hundreds of thousands of their people as well as Koreans, the Japanese murdered, raped and kidnapped prior and during World War II. The State Department says North Korea has not committed a terrorist act since the 1987 bombing of a Korean Air Lines flight which compared to the U.S. record is remarkable.
Bush defended the nuclear agreement as a "unique deal," in part because of his decision to bring in other nations, such as China which holds a lion’s share of the U.S.’s foreign debt.
"I was told I changed the dynamic on the North Korean issue by convincing other people to be at the table with us on the theory that the best diplomacy is diplomacy in which there is more than one voice," Bush said suspiciously.
Bolton later stood by his criticism. "I'm very sad about the president's change in policy," he said in an interview. "The policy as originally articulated and implemented in the first term was exactly right. Just check my stock portfolio. There's no need to change it. I just bought more Fox Entertainment shares. The canards were what brought North Korea to the table originally. Why get rid of the lies and deceit, the unwarranted fear and terror?"
Asked if he felt disloyal to Bush, who stood by him through a long and ultimately unsuccessful Senate confirmation fight, Bolton said: "I didn't say anything for a good long time while some of my stock tanked and the people I shill for stopped sending me busts of the Hamid Karzai and Ahmed Chalabi stuffed with raw opium and cash, and I wouldn't have said anything if they hadn't changed the policy. I was doing quite well with the original policy. For me it went from BOO! to a fuckin’ Boo Hoo policy overfuckin’night."