The Assassinated Press

Boko Haram kidnapped schoolgirls under a US funded outsource contract with Dyncorp to supply hundreds of slaves to ex-pats living in the UAE, Brunei and Saudi Arabia

The Assassinated Press

Dyncorp, a US based security firm which has a long history of trafficking in slaves while holding 80% of US contracts to rebuild an Afghanistan that they helped destroy and where bacha bazi is generally culturally accepted, has admitted to being behind the abduction of several hundred Nigerian schoolgirls.

“Sure we hired the Boko Haram fucks,” Dyncorp CEO Steven Gaffney, flanked by Dyncorp board member Bill Clinton, told the Assassinated Press. “We’re deep into slavery. Haven’t you read our resume? Shit. Bosnia, Kosovo, Iraq, Thailand, Afghanistan, Colombia, Mexico, Albuquerque, Peoria, Little Rock wherever the fuck we are, we’re heavily into child fucking and slavery. And here’s the kicker. We’ve been operating for 50 fucking years.”

“If it wasn’t for Bill Clinton here and his former director of drug policy, Barry McCaffrey, we wouldn’t be nearly so high all of the time not to mention so into underage pussy and the odd little boy’s stink rink,” Gaffney told reporters.

The Boko Haram intend to use their share from the sale of their captives to support their military efforts against the central Nigerian government and their slaveholders, the US government and Africom.

Most of the girls are slated to be sold to wealthy American ex-patriots living in repressive Muslim countries that practice strict forms of Islamic Law hacking off limbs and beheading when it comes to its citizenry but cocksuck, buttfuck, rape, eviscerate and otherwise kill at will when it comes to the countries’ wealthy elites.

“The Nigerian girls are gone. Give it the fuck up,” Gaffney said. We air lifted their asses out on a couple of C27Js we bought from an Aghani warlord who won them in a game of panjpar with General David Petraeus in Jalalabad in January of 2009.