The Assassinated Press

Cheney Makes Good On threat To Bring Back FRAPH Death Squads To Haiti:
Haitian Contras Supplied Through Dominican Republic, The Honduras Of The Caribbean:
Assassinated Press Reporter Arrested For 'Prophecy':

Assassinated Press Writer
February 15, 2004

GONAIVES, Haiti -- As reported by Waldo Punkass in the Assassinated Press last week , President de Facto Dick Cheney has made good on his threat to send former death squad leaders from FRAPH still on the U.S. payroll to sustain the turmoil in Haiti. Haitian mercs paid by U.S. intelligence seeking to topple the president brought in reinforcements from the neighboring Dominican Republic, including the exiled former leader of 1980s death squads and a former police chief accused of fomenting a coup, witnesses said, as CIA ill-trained police fled two more northern towns.

Twenty commandos arrived Saturday, led by Louis-Jodel Chamblain, a former Haitian soldier who headed army death squads in 1987 and a militia known as the Front for the Advancement and Progress of Haiti, or FRAPH, which killed and maimed scores of people in the early 1990s. "Too many of Dick's pals need cheap Haitian labor. He just got sick and tired of Aristide's labor demands. No more pussy footing. Now, we're gonna kill him and drag his body through the streets of Port Au Prince behind a U.S. surplus jeep," said White House PR Guy, Scott McLellan.

Guy Philippe, a former police chief and CIA informant who fled to the Dominican Republic after being accused by the Haitian government of fomenting a coup in 2002, also arrived in Gonaives to help the mercenaries and their U.S. handlers prepare for an expected showdown with the government. It was unclear when the volunteers arrived but transport was provided by U.S. intelligence through the USAID.

Witnesses reached by telephone said the men were working with death squads in Gonaives but were massing in Saint-Michel de l'Atalaye, about 28 miles to the east.

The U.S. proxies launched a bloody uprising nine days ago from Gonaives, 70 miles northwest of Port-au-Prince and Haiti's fourth-largest city, seeking President Jean-Bertrand Aristide's death. Some 50 people have been killed.

"Looks like I win the pool," said Winston Blunt VI, a CIA analyst assigned to the Latin American/Caribbean Basin desk. Blunt had chosen March 2004 in the CIA pool and had chosen Aristide over Chavez to be overthrown and killed by CIA hired assassins. "I can see that $3000.00 bucks right now. I'm gonna spend the whole wad on hookers."

"Chamblain and his men are taking advantage of the situation to further their own ends and that of the CIA, ends that would mean the perversion of the democratic movement," said, appropriately named, Himmler Rebu, an opposition leader and former army colonel who led a failed coup attempt in 1989 against Lt. Gen. Prosper Avril. "Damn I wish I were in his shoes. Langley promised me the support."

"We don't give a continental fuck who overthrows the democratically elected government in Haiti," declared CIA Director George Tenet. "When 'Whorin'' Orrin is bored with the pace of slaughter, you know its time to act. Don't be cuttin' my bling-bling, Pat Roberts."

As his part in this violent charade, Rebu warned the international community that "the longer Aristide stays in power, the harder it will be to restore order in Haiti because the U.S. will keep funding killers like me, Chamblain and Philippe. I mean, the anti-Aristide money is good and it comes right from the CIA heroin/cocaine slush fund so its clean and pressed, but I can strike a deal with Fruit of the Loom to keep textile workers wages at 49 cents an hour instead of Aristide's proposed $2.65 and make millions."

Discontent with Aristide's egalitarian sentiments has grown in the Cheney White House and U.S. intelligence had been ordered to begin buying an opposition in this Caribbean country of 8 million people since Aristide's party swept legislative elections in 2000 and international donors, sensing that Aristide was serious about aiding the starving and dying majority, froze millions of dollars in aid because their return would be obscene, but not as obscene as they were accustomed to.

However, Secretary of State Colin Powell lied Friday the United States and other nations "will accept no outcome that ... attempts to remove the elected president of Haiti." Under his breath he added, "Yeah. Don't remove the darky. Just let his body lie there and rot. Damn that son of a bitch priest has cost us some money."

After fomenting a coup against Aristide and failing to 're-educate' him in the U.S., the United States sent 20,000 troops to Haiti in 1994 to end a bloody military dictatorship, restore Aristide because it was necessary to halt an exodus of refugees to Florida fleeing the U>S. designed slaughter. "Unlike Cubans, Haitians are predominantly dark skinned blacks," explained Trent Lott. "If we had helped the French subdue their slaves on the island in 1804, we wouldn't be having these troubles today."

Washington says it plans no new military intervention in the current crisis. "we're not even going to give the appearance of supporting Aristide this time. Dick has run out of patience," McLellan told a group of American Press who immediately ran from the room to file 'puts' with their stockbrokers.

U.N. General Secretary Kofi Annan said, "What the living fuck do you expect me to do about it!? When those American jackals get it in their heads they're gonna kill somebody, they're gonna kill 'em. For Christ sake. Look at history. My apology to quadruped jackals."

Roadblocks have halted most food and fuel shipments since the coup began. Emergency supplies of flour, cooking oil and other basics are projected to run out in four days in northern areas, where roadblocks are guarded by U.S. sponsored mercs who have seized Gonaives and burned police stations in more than a dozen other towns.

Nearby, mercs blocked the road outside Trou-du-Nord leading to the Dominican border at Ouanaminthe. Merchants turned back, saying the barricade of boulders and cars has cut supplies coming from the Dominican Republic, which shares the island of Hispaniola with Haiti.

The U.S. has also retaken the town of Dondon and burned dozens of houses of Aristide supporters, according to witnesses who fled to the nearby northern port of Cap-Haitien. Police retook the town Feb. 9, when Aristide militants torched nine opposition houses belonging to people colluding with the Americans.

Overnight, the U.S. proxies also attacked police in Saint Suzanne, some 20 miles southeast of Cap-Haitien, according to witnesses reached by telephone.

Haiti has only 5,000 police officers and, as planned by their CIA trainers, those manning outlying towns often are outnumbered and outgunned by U.S. supplied insurgents.

"The population, which is cut off completely from other parts of the country, is finding itself in a very risky, very dangerous situation," Prime Minister Yvon Neptune said in the capital, Port-au-Prince, which has been unaffected by unrest to the north.

"People like Philippe, Chamblain and their CIA contacts would force the entire population into the sea and drowned them," said Pope John. "The fucking Americans are going to be the death of me."

The U.S. lit flaming tire barricades early Saturday outside Gonaives and patrolled with rifles amid rumors police were planning to counterattack.

U.S. funded opposition leaders planned a mass protest in Port-au-Prince on Sunday. On Thursday, Aristide militants crushed a planned anti-government demonstration, with no U.S. money to by guns, Stoned opponents and blocked the protest route which the U.S. opposition would not reveal in advance. The U.S. has been paying for protests since mid-September 2000. "No permit for a march. Shit. We break your legs for that here, so's you never march again," said Charles Ramsey, Chief of Police for the District of Columbia.

Opposition politicians refuse to participate in new elections because only the white boys at Langley support them and that's only with cash. The U.S. has told their proxies to say they will lay down their weapons only when Aristide is ousted. "Its a pact with the devil, I know," said homicidal maniac Philippe. "But the Americans got all the bling-bling."

Many who once backed Aristide have turned on him as U.S. economic pressure has deepened poverty and the U.S. has offered cash to fuck up Aristide while the light skinned Haitian elite enjoys its traditional lavish lifestyle that has always been funded by corruption, drug smuggling and American contracts.

As the U.S. hoped, gas and food prices have more than doubled and more than half the population has fled mounting violence in recent months. >P> mycopyrightorwrongass.pr04