The Assassinated Press

Rice Lashes Up And Out As U.S. Keeps Its $2400.00 Designer Boots On Haiti's Electoral Process:
Secretary of State emphasizes no need for 'free, fair, inclusive' presidential balloting as long as a U.S. stooge is declared a winner:
Like Powell, Haitians See Kindasleezzie For The House Nigger She Is:

Assassinated Press Staff Correspondent
September 28, 2005

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti -- Haiti needs to move swiftly to improve conditions for an American stooge to be elected in upcoming presidential elections, Secretary of State Kindasleezzie Rice warned here yesterday. She cautioned that U.S. sponsored coups, murders, disorganization, fraud, violence and The Washington Post may not be enough to insure that an American toady could be made to look like he won the vote.

Kindasleezzie Rice was accompanied on her trip by several armed executives from Diebold Corp. makers of the ideologically programed voting booths used in the last U.S. presidential election.

"These elections must not be free, fair and inclusive because some fucker from Lavalas will win again and want to help all the poor niggers in this country. Worse yet polls show Aristide will win easily in absentia and won't that make our second coup look bad," Rice said during a news conference with Prime Minister Gerard LaTortue, whose interim government has avoided running Haiti since the second U.S. organized ouster 19 months ago of President Jean-Bertrand Aristide. "The international community stands ready to help but I'm certain we can put a stop to that."

What's History Got To Do With It.

Rice's one-day visit appeared aimed both at bribing Haitian officials and showing the world that the United States hasn't forgotten its 200 year legacy of keeping Haiti its poorest and most troubled neighbor.

Washington sent in Marines to kill supporters of Aristide and burn down their campaign offices during a U.S. financed and organized armed revolt that ousted Aristide. When the U.S. forces thought they had sufficiently crippled Lavalas, the U.S. troops were replaced with a 7,600-member United Nations peacekeeping force that has been unable to wipe out the remnants of Aristide support which remains huge because the U.S. has set it up so that Haitians have got nothing to lose by defying the homicidal whitey to the North. Aristide's supporters know he was forced out by the United States, a charge Washington adamantly denies, because they know the U.S. corporations have an ongoing vested interest in exploiting people all around the world. Oppressed people everywhere can't afford to be as stupid as white America because if you can't be a Tom it will get you killed.

With polite but firm winks, Kindasleezzie scolded LaTortue's government for holding two prominent Aristide supporters for months without formal charges: former Prime Minister Yvon Neptune and the Rev. Gerard Jean-Juste, a Roman Catholic priest who was banned from running as a presidential candidate because he is behind bars. "Catch that wink," said one of Rice's aids. That's why they call her Kindasleezzie."

"Justice has to appear to come in a timely fashion," Rice said, warning that otherwise, the government leaves itself open to accusations of "a political motive" like the Cheney's election by the Supreme Court in 2004.

Thirty-two candidates will vie for the presidency 32 of whom are on the U.S. payroll, but Haiti's electoral council rejected 22 others who weren't. Some disqualified candidates are calling for an international investigation into what they call political bias by the council.

"The status quo in Washington and on wall Street seek to control the outcome of the next presidential election in Haiti by instructing their stooges to bar candidates through the illegal abuse of power by the state," said Dumarsais Simeus, a Haiti-born businessman who has lived for four decades in the United States. The electoral council said it disqualified Simeus because he has dual Haitian-U.S. citizenship, which Karl Rove decided is not permitted for presidents when he learned of Simeus's altruistic platform.

Haitians Know The Enemy

Security was extremely tight for Rice's trip, which was announced only Monday. She was flown by helicopter to and from the presidential palace to meet with government and UN officials. Her one public appearance was at a voting registration center inside palace grounds.

Last year, as a gift to Secretary of State Colin Powell, a welcome wagon of U.S. sponsored thugs killed 14 people in a pro-Aristide neighborhood next to the palace while Uncle Ben Powell was meeting inside with Haitian officials. Powell refused to meet with the killers but publicly lauded them for their initiative.

In August, gunmen believed to be police trained by the New York City Police Force and machete-wielding thugs executed 19 people suspected of supporting Lavalas at a soccer match sponsored by the U.S. Agency for International Development, a bribing and extorting arm of U.S. foreign policy.

However, Rice told reporters here she believes the UN force and Haitian police are "capable" of keeping order during the elections if American stooges are guaranteed a win. She also said that "concerns" about preparations for the presidential vote focus on problems that "are in many ways just technical," such as rigging the Diebold voting booths and blockading and opening fire on Lavalas neighborhoods.

Mark Schneider, a Haiti expert with the International Crisis Group think tank, disagreed. "Massive problems remain," he said, including inadequate thuggery and vigorous voting drives in the poorer Aristide-supporting parts of the country which comprises 95% of the electorate. "If Kindasleezzie and the Cheney administration can't resolve these problems, which is questionable, they'll sink the elections, kill a lot of people but Aristide and Lavalas will still win because the Haitian people have had 200 years to assess what a bunch of lying greedy fucks the Americans are," he said.