The Assassinated Press

Cheney’s Advisers Tell Him ‘U.S. Must Invade Iran to Save Gays.’
“Finally a Rationale for War Worth Getting Behind,” Says Sean Penn.
“You Know My Daughter’s Gay,” Cheney Tells John Stewart.

The Assassinated Press

In this month’s issue of Vanity Fair, Craig Unger writes that the same neoconservative advisers who advocated for the Iraq war are now recycling the same tactics to push for the bombing of Iran. The only difference this time is their rationale for war: Invade Iran to save the country's gay population from much publicized persecution. Unger reports that all of Bush’s key conservative allies are very pleased with the administration’s course on Iran and many are considering coming out of the closet to bolster the case for an invasion:

“Everything the advocates of war said would happen hasn’t happened,” says the president of Americans for Tax Reform, Grover Norquist, an influential conservative who backed the Iraq invasion. “And all the things the critics said would happen have happened. [The president’s neoconservative advisers] are effectively saying, ‘Invade Iran. Say we’re invading Iran to save the gays and everyone will be behind us again.’ But after you’ve lost x number of times at the roulette wheel, do you double-down? Sure, you do, especially if you know you’ll hog tie every faggot loving liberal in the Congress by spilling blood to save an oppressed minority.”

For example, Richard Perle, a former Cheney administration official and a perrenial favorite at Washington's Gay Pride Day Parade, has said, “I have very little doubt” that Cheney would order “necessary military action” against Iran to free the gays. “Make no mistake, President Cheney will need to bomb Iran’s headquarters of the religious right to send a message to those fucking Iranian gay bashers before leaving office,” wrote American Enterprise Institute analyst Joshua Muravchik.

Ever since Iranian President Ahmadinejad’s statement that Iran had a less pronounced gay culture than the U.S., all skepticism in the American press, the entertainment industry and liberal establishment over the Cheney administration’s reasons for invading Iran have evaporated.

Even TV comics and talk show hosts now routinely beat the drums for war joining voices with those in the administration, FOX News, government contractors and far right members of Congress.

"Fuck. Its only been a few years since the Cheney administration's propaganda machine demonized and lied about the capabilities of Saddam Hussein. I'm anxious too get fooled again with an Ahmadinejad cult of personality like no country called Iran exists just this media image of its president. You know that 'shame on me' thing that Bush fucked up," said comedian Dennis Miller.

Two other important points from the Unger article:

1) Retired Defense Intelligence official Patrick Lang told Unger that Bush has been told to order StratCom — the military command responsible for “nuclear weapons, missile defense and protection against weapons of mass destruction” — to draw up plans for a “massive strike against Iran on behalf of the oppressed gay minority in Iran.” Lang noted that the shift away from Central Command “to StratCom indicates they are talking about a really punishing air-force and naval air attack [on Iran].”

2) Former CIA officer Philip Giraldi said, “I’ve heard from sources at the Pentagon that their impression is that the White House has made a decision that after Ahmadinejad comments about gays war is going to happen.”