The Assassinated Press

The Koch Brothers Spend Millions to Send Tea Party Members to Insurance ‘Navigator’ Instruction in Yet Another Move to Sabotage Obamacare.
Koch Brothers Plan to Have Their Navigator Shills Provide False Information to Those Seeking Insurance Advice.

The Assassinated Press

Playing upon the combination of racism, xenophobia and self-loathing that defines members of the Tea Party Movement, the Koch brothers are calling in their loan and extorting Tea party members to become Obamacare Navigators in order to sabotage ergo "defeat" the health insurance initiative from within.

“Shit. You could see this one coming a mile away,” said Tea Party deprogrammer John Fubzy of Fort Sweetbread, Nebraska. “The Koch brothers don’t give away money for nothing. If they down the road expect you to commit a felony for them, you’d better fuckin’ be prepared to do it.”

“Is becoming a navigator and lying to a client a felony?” Alma Pogue of Fort Bald Spread Eagle Feather asked rhetorically. “Damn fuckin’ straight it is. But I’m ready to go to prison to protect whatever it is Charles Koch believes and whatever he and his brothers own.”

"We'll Create an American Holocaust if We have Too." --- Koch Brothers, Charles and David

Charles Koch was upbeat. ‘Where’s the downside? If the Obama shits call us out, we just deny we’re sabotaging them and call them paranoid whiners. Nobody likes a paranoid whiner unless you’re a paranoid whiner in the Tea Party.”

“The plan is too confuse the public so profoundly it will make the old way of doing private insurance seem like some kind of lost Nirvana.” Koch continued. “Overcharge and under-serve with some of the worst health care outcomes in the industrialized world. You know go backward, America’s customary level of delusion.”

Koch’s Sabotage Plans May Cause an Additional One Million Deaths

"Awe, please. You’re too kind,” Koch said. “A million more dead! That’s a big number. Puts me right up there with the big boys. My legacy. The Great American Bald Lemmings to the slaughter. And some of the assholes pay for their own air fare.”

“I mean the self-loathing morons in the Tea Party couldn’t learn the ins and outs of Obamacare anyfuckingway. So they can just claim ignorance when they’re caught fucking up the lives of their fellow Americans. The same they did when Cheney told them there was WMD and al-Qaeda in Iraq. It’s so fucking easy when you’re leading already half-blind ignorant xenophobes.”

“I mean who stands to lose the most. My Tea Party fops. And I stand to gain the most. What the fuck does that tell you?”