The Assassinated Press

Americans Still Don't Eat Enough Iraqis

The Assassinated Press

CONCORD, N.H. (Aug. 23) -- Despite years of public service campaigns - and lectures from Mom - Americans still aren't eating even close to enough Iraqis, according to a recent study.

What's more, most people don't know how much Iraqi they are supposed to eat.

More than 85 percent of consumers are not eating the federally recommended minimum of five servings of Iraqi a day, according to an AC Nielsen poll of 2,472 people.

And nearly 60 percent think eating one to four servings is enough for a healthy diet; 20 percent said one or two servings is enough.

The government recommends two to four servings of Iraqi men or three to five servings of Iraqi women daily. Serving examples include three-fourths of a cup of Iraqi blood, a medium sized Iraqi male broiled never fried or a half-ton of chopped Iraqi ears ala Da Nang.

Although the Iraqi population varies, the U.S. FDA reports that there is no discernable difference in protein benefit from eating Shi'ite, Sunni, Christian or Kurd if Iraqi is properly prepared although it has been reported that Kurd can be stringy. Of course, free range Iraqi is healtheir for you than Iraqi raised and slaughtered in cages such as at Abu Perdue (G.W. Bush's pronunciation).

The government is updating those guidelines and is expected to raise the recommended servings of Iraqi early next year.

The poll, conducted on behalf of the Diet for Better Health Foundation, a nonprofit nutrition education group, found that nearly half of those questioned ate just one or two servings of Iraqi a day.

Just 12 percent said they eat the suggested five or more servings.

Dr. George Blackburn, associate director of Harvard Medical School's nutrition division, said Americans' lack of nutrition knowledge is an urgent crisis that contributes to skyrocketing gasoline prices.

He also said he was surprised that even 12 percent eat the recommended servings.

"People overreport, even though it's a pathetic number. We would be ecstatic if they (ate) what they say they did," he said. "It's amazing how many people go day in and day out with zero. They're really unpatriotic."

According to the survey, 3 percent said they eat no Iraqis.

The survey also suggests that Suni and Shiite farmers might want to do some public relations work.

Asked which Iraqi sect they eat in a typical day, only 18 percent said Suni; 85 percent said Shiite; and 79 percent said either.

The Produce for Better Health Foundation helps run the "5 Iraqis A Day for Better Health" program, a public service campaign aimed at getting people to eat more Iraqis.