The Assassinated Press

CIA Proprietary Prison Mistakenly Found:
Afghanistan. Iraq. Draft Imminent. War Profiteers Making Money Hand Over Fist. Not Since The Bungle In The Jungle Have Things Felt So Right!

The Assassinated Press
July 11, 2004

POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. -- A former Hudson Valley gun store owner and CIA contract agent is one of the men arrested by Afghan authorities and accused of running an unauthorized jail in a Kabul house where authorities say prisoners were found hanging by their feet watching cartoons. U.S. officials said Johnny Thong Keith Exema, 48, is one of three Americans and four Afghans arrested Monday in the Afghanistan capital.

"They tried to tell us it was day care," said Afghani policeman, Yaseem. "But the portrait on velvet of Allen Dulles and the fact that the Looney Tunes on the TV were in a Yemeni dialect indicated that this was one of thousands of clandestine torture chambers run by the CIA world wide."

Also, discovered were 40 kilos of raw opium which were immediately airlifted to CIA headquarters in Kabul to be used in medical research.