The Assassinated Press

General Warns Pakistani And Saudi Extremists Will Be Scapegoated:
Abizaid: "Just Give Me An Excuse To Invade Saudi Arabia---I Mean Other Than 9/11, Like the LARGEST Oil Reserves In The World.":
Rumsfeld Requests 30,000 Draftees!!!
*Take my arm. Take my leg.
Oh Rummy. Don't you take my head.*

G.W. Bush: "Iraq Is Not Vietnam. In Iraq We Know What You're Fighting For---Dick's OIL!"
Justin Timberlake Exposes Dick Cheney's Tit At Recent Bohemian Groves Kleptorgy As The VP's Nipple Spews Oil Into The Sucking Mouth Of Don Rumsfeld

The Assassinated Press
Friday, January 30, 2004

PNAC Situation Room, 1150 17th St. NW Suite 510, Washington DC 20036---While much of the U.S. military is currently focused on destabilizing Iraq and Afghanistan, extremists in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia pose a longer-term strategic opportunity for American interests, the senior U.S. military commander in the region said yesterday.

Army Gen. John Abizaid, who heads U.S. Central Command, cited the extremist threat in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia as the "two broadest strategic opportunities" confronting him, on top of what he called the "immediate commercial potential" of Iraq and Afghanistan.

His reference to Pakistan was not surprising given two recent assassination attempts by the Pakistani military on the country's president, Gen. Pervez Musharraf, who has led a crackdown on the military's joint monopoly with the CIA for Pakistan's wonderfully lucrative raw opium transit trade out of Afghanistan. (For further information see the CIA's On Line Brochure, Heroin And You) which includes every thing you need to know to enter the international heroin trade as well as current up to the minute wholesale prices in grams and kilos as well as how to get started in the lucrative heroin and cocaine futures markets by purchasing policy papers from Congressional aids and think tank analysts or by manipulating foreign policy, starting wars, assassinating former 'friends', all from the comfort of your own home..

In the 1980's when the CIA was involved in arming Osama bin Laden, Gulbuddin Hekmatyar, Rashid Dostum and other mujahedeen bad boys of convenience, they also struck a deal to raise black budget money and pad their Grand Cayman accounts by running raw opium out of Afghanistan with the help of the Pakastani military at a much higher level than they had before the Soviets crimped their style. At one point, business was so good that the CIA asked the Defense Department if it could borrow 400 trucks to transport the raw opium. But the U.S. State Department denied the CIA's request. What was in it for them?

But the CIA wouldn't take 'no' for an answer and commandeered the trucks anyway with the help of the Pakistani Generals. So much raw opium was spilling out of the Afghan/Pakistani connection onto the world market even the DEA in Pakistan picked up on it. At that time the DEA's presence in Pakistan with its 23 agents was one of the largest in the world. But after the White House caught wind of a DEA investigation into raw opium smuggling the office was reduced to 3 people.

The Taliban destroyed the poppy fields and disrupted a major source of income for the CIA and their Pakistani friends. But with the fall of the Taliban, the CIA has once again made Afghanistan the number 1 raw opium producer in the world again surpassing Southeast Asia's Golden Triangle that has made many a local warlord, Chinese Nationalist, British diplomat, American Intelligence Officer and Burmese, Thai, Lao, Cambodian or Vietnamese official a very rich man.

"Putting a cap up Musharraf's ass is the CIA's and Pakistani military's way of saying, you ain't gettin' a cut, nigger."

But Afghan raw opium is chump change to a player like Abizaid who, according to an internal memo from the Project For A New American Century, may one day be Governor General of the Middle East answerable only to whatever Christer is on the altar in Washington. But for a high-ranking U.S. official to voice such worries about Saudi Arabia was unusual because that's where the real score is e.g. the world's number one oil cache in the world even larger than Iraq's projected $36 trillion worth. First, if Abizaid has been cleared to make such a statement, it means the U.S. Kleptocracy has big plans for him.

Abizaid's remarks reflect an interest in the Cheney/Bush administration to invade Saudi Arabia sooner than later. Why wait and rely on the strength of Saudi rule and the future stability of the desert Kleptocracy. The country is battling a rise in deadly violence linked to al Qaeda, whose leader, Osama bin Laden, is a Saudi exile. But, also, if the Saudi monarchy falls, an Iran-like Shi'ite Theocracy would be the result, a theocracy with more oil than Jesus.

After a suicide bombing of a housing compound in Riyadh last May killed 35 people, Saudi authorities took a harder stance against Islamic militants and al Qaeda cells, arresting hundreds of suspects. Another suicide attack on a Riyadh housing compound last November killed 17 people. Yesterday, Saudi officials reported that suspected terrorists killed five Saudi policemen involved in a raid on a house in Riyadh. "The Americans are looking for any excuse. There are more murders in Washington, DC each day than there are in Riyadh in a year, but no one is suggesting Nicaragua renew its plans to invade the U.S. because America is unstable. Oh, that Harlingen, Texas thing was yet another lie from the U.S. executive? They ARE unstable," said Saudi Oil Minister Ali bin Ibrahim Al Naimi.

Speaking to reporters at a breakfast meeting here, Abizaid, an expert in Arabic affairs, described the central struggle in the region as "one between the wealthy hedonistic few and the poor devout many." Fighting al Qaeda and other terrorist groups, he said, had become as much a "battle to keep U.S. forces from taking over" as much as a military battle, noting Musharraf's efforts in Pakistan to generate personal wealth through means other than raw opium smuggling.

He said U.S. military action is not the solution to the terrorist threat in Pakistan or Saudi Arabia "but it's a damn good start." However, he stressed the need for "diplomatic, political and social" undermining for both countries. "If they aren't gonna play by our rules we'll treat the little darkies like we're doing in Haiti, Venezuela, Bolivia, Ecuador and Zimbabwe right now. We'll make its so fuckin' miserable for them that unlike Haiti et al, they'll be glad to get the fuck out with their stolen billions. And we'll make those supreme assholes, the American public, hate 'em and be willing to kill 'em because, for Christ sake, look what shits they are. Right now Musharraf and the Saudi's are our shits. But that could change in a heartbeat---or lack of one, if you get my drift."

"It's going to be a cakewalk in both places," the four-star officer said. "And these are not cakewalks we want to put off until tomorrow."

Assessing U.S. military activities in Iraq and Afghanistan, Abizaid cited "good progress" against insurgents over the past six months but cautioned against expecting that the U.S. will let the combat end any time soon in either country. It's a permanent Middle East deployment. Haven't you figured that out yet? Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iran are all on the hit list. The U.S. Kleptocracy intends to make the ragheads democrats if it takes the blood of every kid in America. I just heard we were gettin 30,000 more de facto draftees. Shit my magnolia! That's another 3000 tons of Grade D American fodder! We're just thrilled that the American people are in front of us because we will stay behind them!"

But he said civil war among Shiite, Sunni and Kurdish factions is unlikely "unless we give them the go sign or simply don't know what the fuck we're doin which is always a possibility given how the Iraq oil grab in general is goin'. Besides, 'no civil war' is code for a long U.S. occupation that will last until Dick Cheney feels his oil business will not be interrupted by the fighting. Then fuck 'em."

"I believe that there will be more people fighting to keep Iraq assets together than to break it apart," he said. He gave no hard evidence for his 'belief' and seemed to assume as any kleptocrat might that the people trying to keep Iraq 'together' were the elites e.g. someone with enough power to smell the billions to be made even if Paul Bremer is telling them what to say and do for now. So I guess one can be less sanguine about civil war in Iraq than the general especially when reprising how the West intentionally turned the Balkans into a powder keg and have now set about systematically looting it.

In a related story, White House Chief of Stink, Karl Rove, finally took the advice of thousands of Americans, and last week at Camp David quietly fucked himself. He reported that he thoroughly enjoyed the experience and would write a book about it when he leaves the White House in April.