The Assassinated Press

A Transcript of A Rare Reel-To-Reel Recording of 15 Minutes of One of Doctor Sidney Gottlieb's LSD/Peyote/Ganja Parties In Honor of Mamie Eisenhower's 60th Birthday Celebrated In The 'Wild Bill' Donovan Cocktail Lounge At The CIA in Langley, Virginia on November 14th 1956

Tape opens with a brief comment by Dr. Gottlieb.
(relevance to Current Events is obvious)

[The Text]
Mexture and mexus omarekins and all the shits that trumps the seads. The heir born coke war was in its filth millenium with Airllen Dowlles at the helms when the teil alla gram arrised. In the anals of the Wurmstern Hemorrwoild, licked Jass. Jysm Dingletong. Notional sackyokity wasen the dead kinwyrt wort the live do do. The mamnos came down: Cleaverness gives knucks to gottliebness. Lie surgarcly if akcid. Teoatl on dadel and hana but knautschen on the hunds that freess hew.

But if the trouffles be frankly tulled, Theo Nanonactl, gott flesh mitson the beloved Maizami when his altar id was offerred a djinnitannic by Muster Eh Hairood Junta that smug duggling ogler. The daviation:

C--My diarre, Holms, you locke all schell and beanes.

On the pholygraf:

--- Delawded? Delighted? & Deloooooooded?

Yes & orranged barealized.

Troping, Ix fungled with his packet and florted twad Musstus Isendhowitzers, slurpping her his hemlook.

---I kon lysurgically ergot that moul with my bouche, mordamn, he slaid.

---Dinka, applead the laidy, but hausa them Ultra-thim hempscheme connundrumns.

---Is that a quetschen, me poky hole?

---No, an ardor, my pine noodle!

---O, Maim me!

But just then, Puley Jonsohn, shanning his cowtouts scisserow, comminced his slate of han;

---Duh?! I sensed how her years were the cumination of Amammoncon SpIkes Speek. A wail ov er wall of [tape garbled] cololichtive anxpiety was wurt around the gurtle in aty stays, her skirt about the periwinkel of the Commonest bloke. Ambergrist for the primpngrinder moil. Sokalt it was Burrrlined. Of currse, its 'gude ovening' be frauever and frieverishly dimmed! On the barkside, the bit of the Bear. On the bawdside, the Beard of the Liarn.
Ironscentedhowitzer's hoard was shaved width Acheom's erayser that dean no the deapth of its dirth. Grovesdaggers, who hurald the prumice of knucklear powder in the phleece of there arenomeez like the fewer hempchmen of the hypcropalips.
Hairryman aver all. From Haveyourd and Yurll; Dirtmouth, Prissytone, Kenell and Staynforit. Blads as lathol as they was keannen. As duell es there was did lee over the walled Oz?

Aloon Doubtless toked the floowr:

---Pshah! Larcenyme, yuice Weiss Guise. I halve hear in my vesturn hippockretsy the Mundrue Dichtrhein. Deralicht und deranacht! Nicht? Put up yore mytths, Sissyfoot. Big Erl mussa digh. Abienz armuss arrivelo in Marxico City. Reinhard Gehlen, kin huegenotsee he's our buoy. U-2 know the powers in the hinds of the cunningnists, that we most licken to Saton. Knorr well we fiddel while Castrolto buns Rum with his Massallez. That martie pense. Whut? Wuttminh!? Hear hiess gnoman. A thoreau rug weepon like an Amoilican frag. A cessy buoy.

---Mudder!--- was herd fumin' froam la Brayan Spigs.

---Hooever has considered the Decoloration of Undependse and profussed the DamnIknow Dorotheory wichitha compost of tin comandments on the roidvarse of Moneyfirst Destoney the sin twister of Todtods, knoahs I am the Load thy Goad, who bawt thee Little Egypt out of Wail Street bondage. Ignore those other gits before me. Thou shalt rake unto me any gravey I mange, or anything that is worth heaven about. Re ember the Sabathtage day, to blholdy shotfullof. For on sex dais the Lewd made heavey with tearres the seamoan and the tin men Iz and roosted on the severenth day after firing a warming shot between her rain boughs.

---Socks days on; Soleday, Sandlsday, arch and levery Swhosday.

---Corner thy Frachte ont thy Machte. Dow shell naught Havelon any frogs beenfore me so that it caboomes unnassersory to rapossess de gaul blather. Dow shell net kills. Steal thy goods nyeboors palacey. Undercovet his guards too, byfour him feelse wetness against thy wharf's nayboobs. Covert thy ass. Flor eggsamples, tayske our kirchen Shule of the Demeracause where coverted in breadcrimes, we crooked a paulypullet in gno stick gar nicht wahr. Ko Chen genau end Diem, the flames catholicking under the paul pot cusaning perspitaryanation like huegenotzi. A latheran to episs go pailin. Cover and let stand. A perppiment rainy seasoning at the beif jhurking hand of a crustian god. 50 blockbards baked in a pyre. Appleyeing the burptests the world falls. And our chef, Sclaiyentoasts, tasted the analburptests with gas. Orar hunsl an griddle aberz the idbart oven utopioca then chilliad and serve. Pass a cooktool, pease.

Iceinhoarpits sturd, his bild hauss lauss innen aus

---Awl this take of cold slawter gifts us brutton woodies. The blest pit of a sarten haute pain is ihm the blizud chrust. Butt befoul we jest, mynde the bad dymaino slide effructs, wahn Marks begets Enggells, Oengles beguts Lienen, Laanen beggerout Stealin, Storlin buggerdup More Ver Mogt, Mo See Peng bagette Dow Sharepung, Due Shillpeng bocacht Lamunda, Dluhmulmba begelt Costro, Cashtrow bocardY asserthoorah, assithahhah,ashitamile.

From this projection, Monsteur dickter of the serenim dram wold, Seedsy Goltlode, appears. Mustering great advoicity, Addword Bareknees, auctor of Ad Vice Incoincident constrooled inunde Ducter Herry armor and began munchurian the chthonapes.

C--Is dis du massus?

C--Nine. That poofbull, Gorge cans weyght. He=s swillowed napall his fungs. Xochli-a-tototler. Ally me to intro duce my good freund, Addword of Medizen Parvenue.

(17 missing minutes)

---A Tooste for the luber of Gott, shorted Retched Milldoo Knukesum, he on musceline and hump, flacid and amfartomeans, tolked his inturropteratin pulperclap.

---Butt fist, war cabaled here to a ward thes Thieu in hoiley potrimoney. For richerd and for power. In slickness and in hellth. To death=s door was port. Onry Kussinger du u take tieu for your liffably weadled waif? And too; to the loot a lieu. Tu may now kurse the breed.

---Howbout a hartychoke, my apparition. No saprootphyte is too great for my cuntkey.

---Awnry, its wissener not to discost sum tings in paloot kennpawny.

---You were saying, Sodknee.

An obet Vortext in the anuals of the assturdwhorld. Knocht ---the Cultic Twallette---. But an obet Jams Jazzus Dangletongue.

my copy right or wrong The Assassinated Press