"Facts are stupid things."---Ronald Reagan The Assassinated Press

Reagan Too Diseased For Network Television:
Republicans' Cruel & Cynical Strategy To Prop Up A Deranged Moron As Chief Executive Moved To Cable:
CBS Dumps Reagan Miniseries As Not Politically Correct:
Probe of Horse Piss In GIs Drinking Water Continues

Assassinated Press Staff Writer
November 4, 2003, 8:05 PM DDT

Ronald Reagan would certainly object to the vociferous reactionary attacks made on his behalf that have buried a couple of nights of low comedy for American TV viewers. After all Reagan did state that "Facts are stupid things." How do his plutocratic defenders account fo that one? He misspoke? Then he WAS a diseased idiot that was incapable of recognizing the constant drivel that came out of his mouth.

In an utterly predictable money move, CBS Tuesday canceled a four-hour movie on the life of Ronald Reagan that had unnerved conservative critics over its occasionally factual portrayal of the diseased 40th president and, though the competition is fierce, possibly America's greatest Stooge-acrat.

The four-hour miniseries, entitled "This Is Reagan's Brain On Off," which was to have been aired out Nov. 16 and Nov. 18, will now air out next year on Iraqi television and Showtime, in order to boost the pay network's subscription viewership as Americans will flock to see dramatized what they have known all along---that "Ronald Reagan was not your run of the mill sick fuck. He was a sick fuck owned by General Electric. He had issues with his tissues, " said Republican Drug Kingpin, Rush Limbaugh. "Christ, I hope nobody ever portrays my stinkin' ass accurately---alive or dead."

After formally dropping the miniseries, network executives said in a statement that the decision "is based solely on money and extortion by "a radical right wing faction of America's criminal kleptocracy." "This decision had nothing to do with the controversy that erupted around a draft of the script. Its true that some Republican Brown Shirts stormed into our offices scalded our secretary with hot cappuccino and demanded that the Reagan script be patterned after the '50's Hollywood film of German Nazi rocket scientist turned head of NASA's space program, Wernher von Braun, entitled "I Aim For The Stars (But Sometimes I Hit London.)"

However, the movie's producers appeared to dispute that in their own statement, expressing fear at being terrorized by brutal elements of the U.S. jackbooted kleptocracy. "Political correctness had everything to do with this. In a culture based on money, money controls what the culture becomes---what is tolerated as correct ," said TV's Bill O'Reilly of the "Fairly Unbalanced" FUX network.

Indeed, the controversy surrounding the film starring James Brolin as a passively homicidal Reagan and Judy Davis as a protective Nancy Reagan as anyone would be when diapering an old man with the aptitude of a 3 year old, began mid-October when a New York Times story reported snatches of dialogue from actual white house footage which showed Reagan as out of touch, looney and uncaring of the plight of people around the world willing to sign anything that James Baker shoved under his nose no matter how many thousands of people died as a consequence. One reported line -- "those who live in sin, shall die in sin" -- infuriated some Reagan supporters. "Reagan couldn't have believed that. Its his own warrant to Hell. It's like he'd be saying you're going to hell too, Liddy. He'd a never said anything like that to my face. I would have cold cocked the old retard," mused radio personality and convicted felon, G. Gordon Liddy.

The network and producers were unable to support the line with documentation like they did for all those old Charleton Heston historical melodramas or like in Showtime's recent comic adaptation of the days in the White House following 9/11. The docu-comedy, 9/11: Blame It On Iraq, And Don't Look Back went out of its way to dispense with the truth to inject broad humor and occasional slapstick.

Over the last week, CBS has been relentlessly extorted by talk radio and the Internet, where one impromptu conservative site -- boyscoutsincotton briefs.com featuring convicted felon and radio personality Oliver North-- had signed up "north of 100,000" members, according to its founder, Michael Paranzino, a Bethesda, Md.-based consultant and onetime chief of graft for former Rep. Matt Salmon (R-Ariz.). "If CBS would have come up with some cash, they could have avoided all this mess. Sell out Reagan. Damn straight I would. I'm a political consultant. I'd sell out---multiple choice."

Meanwhile, Republican National Committee chairman Ed Gillespie asked CBS chairman Leslie Moonves last week to allow a team of historians from the Goebble's Foundation funded by the General Electric Charitable Trust to burn the film and any books in the room before air and "if not, Moonves should crawl before him" as he showers Gillespie with hundreds. Moonves said we offered to run a disclaimer at the bottom of the screen that stated "as President, Reagan was a fiction." Gillespie seemed to go for it until he slept on it overnight."

Reagan's son, Michael, who appeared on "Good Morning America" Tuesday, said he had seen an eight-minute clip of the movie. "It's appealing to see my dad in a way I've never seen him. It makes me wish I had had a real dad like that actor Brolin," he sobbed.

He also told "GMA" anchor Charlie Gibson, "another thing you know about my father is his godliness, and to have him say 'Nancy, goddamit, shut up'...is just too much of a revelation considering he signed off on the murder of tens of thousands of people. He never used God's name in vain except when he was blowing it out his ass about the Sandinistas or Guatemalan peasants or Salvadorans or welfare queens or gays. Then he became the foul mouthed murderous spooge all America took into their hearts."

CBS executives made the decision to mulch the miniseries late Monday, and there was immediate word -- much of it aired on cable talk shows -- that the network had bowed to extortion from Washington, where it is entangled in a contentious battle with the House and Senate over the relaxation of media ownership rules. One senior industry executive who requested anonymity said the network's concerns over Washington were likely a "catalyst" for the decisions. "Relaxing media ownership rules. That's our 'money shot' to borrow a phrase from XXX. Its all about money baby. If you've got the dough you can shut down anybody. Or shut them up permanently for that matter."

But in its statement, CBS said that "although the producers have sources to verify each scene in the script, we believe it does not present a portrayal of just how unbalanced the Reagans were."

"The last thing anyone wants to do in a biopic is to get killed," a television executive, Dobie Willis said. "These movies are the stuff of drama so you need conflict. Just not the real thing from 200 hundred yards away in the studio parking lot, bleeding from a wound to the frontal lobe from a high velocity bullet and ending up as a Movie of the Week with Henry Winkler playing you. It just ain't worth it." The executive added, "This is a rare case where you have a former president who's 92 years old and who was suffering from a debilitating illness that shrunk his brain to the size of a cocktail olive years before he entered public life who was cynically propped up as the poster boy for one of the largest explosions of human suffering in the history of mankind. So massive was the suffering eminating from those conservative forces that the American people were caught up in a kind of political masturbation and reactionary sado-masochism, spooging with blood lust even as their victims lay in the streets of virtually every capital of the world."

"Wow! You can sure talk some horseshit, Masked Man."

"I don't think this [cancellation] is even about politics but about being humane. Be humane. Don't fuck up our media expansion legislation. And don't pop us," Willis continued.

Neil Meron and Craig Zadan, two-respected "long-form" -TV movie-specialists who won an Oscar for "Chicago" and acclaim for other TV pufferies, including one of Judy Garland, which also starred Davis, produced the movie. However, critics have taken fault with CBS's choice of casting, notably Brolin -- husband of Barbara Streisand who is a supporter of Democratic Party causes and an outspoken critic of Reagan. "Its the worst piece of casting since Dennis Hopper was cast as CIA drug runner Barry Seal. How could you put Dennis Hopper around drugs and expect him to be believable?" said radio talk show personality and potential convicted felon, Rush Limbaugh.

According to a statement on her Web site posted last week, "saying that Mr. Brolin's marriage to Ms. Streisand would have affected his performance is as ludicrous as the complaints about the way President and Nancy Reagan are depicted in the film. Its very difficult to portray an individual as morally fucked up as Reagan was who at the same time was diseased and incompetent. The film raises some important questions that resonate thoughout today's political scene especially as regards the office of chief executive. That is when someone so clearly deficient as Reagan is shunted into office are they responsible for the crimes committed in their name or are they too stupid to hang along with their appointed officials

"The cancellation is good news for Americans who were upset for years about a small group of people in Hollywood who were able to have their point of view shown on national TV as opposed to the small and far more powerful kleptocracy which owns Hollywood and all the companies that run commercials in between that put such ludicrous ideas into the empty, impressionable little brains of Americans in the first place, " confessed Brent Baker, vice president of the Media Regurge Council, a conservative media junk yard dog organization based in Alexandria, Va and funded by God knows who.

None of the major networks are believed to have ever pulled a miniseries just prior to air, although CBS chairman William S. Paley canceled "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour" in 1969. At the time, critics charged that Paley had bowed to extortion from the Nixon White House, which had begun to attack the networks over their coverage of the Vietnam war and which was angered over the "Smothers Brothers'" strongly anti-administration tone.

HBO, however, canceled the cable movie The Plot To Seize The White House. The film was to be based on the 1933 attempt by the American kleptocracy to stage a violent coup to dislodge President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The coup leaders which included notable families --Rockefeller, Mellon, Pew, Pitcairn, Hutton; and great enterprises-- Morgan, Dupont, Remington, Anaconda, Bethlehem, Goodyear, GMC, Swift, Sun....approached Major General Smedley Butler because the populist Marine seemed to be the man to mobilize a 500,000 man army to accomplish the coup. Butler, however, turned to congress which convened hearings. The HBO writers abandoned the project because even though 70 years has elapsed most of the testimony held in closed session has still not been made public to this day proving once again that Karl Popper deliberately kept his head in a little niche way, way up his large intestine.

My copyright or wrong 2003 The Assassinated Press