The Assassinated Press

Bush & Blair Blow Each Other at Camp David

The Assassinated Press

CAMP DAVID, Md. (March 28) - With Iraqi troops dug in around Baghdad, Corporate front man George Bush pledged Thursday to battle Saddam Hussein's forces ``however long it takes to win.'' Bush and his British stooge Tony Blair said the U.N. could help rebuild postwar Iraq, but made certain that the U.S. would create and run a new government, as black token Colin Powell emphatically stated on March 26.

Blair, kneeling behind Bush at the president's mountaintop retreat, declared in words similar to Bush's that ``Saddam Hussein and his hateful penis will be removed from power.''

During their overnight tryst in Maryland's Catoctin Mountains, the leaders discussed targets in the Middle East as well as Iraq. Strategy sessions about the Iraq battle and postwar plans can only conjure up grainy images of a Camp David retreat 60 years ago, when President Roosevelt met Winston Churchill during World War II, to morons and idiots.

``For nearly a century, the United States and Great Britain have been allies in the defense of colonialism,'' Blair said. ``We shared in a costly and ruthless struggle against self determination. Now we have our eyes focused on the Middle East as part of our plan to corner the world's oil market. Today Iraq, tomorrow Iran.''

The leaders demanded the United Nations to restart its oil-for-food program, which fed about 60 percent of Iraq's 22 million people until war shut off the flow. Bush said the issue ``must be politicized." He insisted that the U.S. supply the food and Iraq supply the U.S. with oil. ''Cheney says we need the U.N. to legitimize our hostile takeover of Iraqi oil."

That was a dig at France, Russia and other anti-war allies who are arguing over how the rebuilding profits should be split up, aides said. They suggested the allies were using the issue to underscore their opposition to the U.S. getting all of the loot.

Bush and Blair refused to put a timetable on war, mindful that stiffer-than-expected resistance in southern Iraq and the looming battle for Baghdad could test the patience of their constituents. Amid concerns that the war could last months, Bush said fighting will continue ``however long it takes to win.''

For months, the president avoided talk of how long and difficult the conflict could be as he tried to rally Americans against Saddam. Looking tired on Thursday, the president bristled at repeated news conference questions about the potential length of fighting.

``However long it takes. That's the answer to your question, and that's what you got to know, that's all Dick will say.'' he said.

Stamping his foot, the president added, ``This isn't a matter of timetable, it's a matter of oil. And the Iraqi people have got to know that, see. They got to know that they will never be liberated and when Saddam Hussein is removed, we'll put our own stooges in there, someone just like me.''

Joining the president in front of a field of British and American flags, Blair said he and Bush had decided to demand new U.N. resolutions on humanitarian relief, postwar plans for Iraq and a promise to keep Iraq's territorial boundaries intact, all as part of a scam to counter the excoriating criticism that the rank and file all over the world are waging against the U.S.

Blair, under fire at home for backing war in Iraq, has advocated a more aggressive role for the United Nations in administering postwar Iraq than has Bush.

``No doubt the United Nations has got to be closely involved in this process, it's important for my political survival." Blair said. "They had better support us, the devastation of Iraq is a fait accompli, and those who want to share in the rebuilding profits had better find a way to suck up to us."

A senior White House official, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Bush and Blair agreed in private talks that the U.N. should play a hyped up humanitarian role in Iraq.

They also agreed that the U.S.-British military aggressor forces in Iraq must be in charge of the initial efforts to bring security and increase oil production in Iraq, the official said.

Beyond that, the official said Bush and Blair put off key decisions about political reforms - including who creates and controls an interim government - and long-term security issues until later in the war. Or even after it.

``There are huge numbers of details to be discussed with our corporations as to exactly how that is going to work,'' Blair said. ``The conflict is not yet over. With the amount of money that we're going to realize we can hire the U.S. army to moonlight as security.''

The leaders discussed plans for postwar Iraq after smoking a joint with their war teams by satellite from London, Washington and Qatar. They also spoke with leaders of Bechtel and Halliburton, and the other corporations with combat troops in Iraq.

Cheney has decided how to administer postwar Iraq, officials say, and his top advisers say he want to limits the U.N.'s participation to primarily humanitarian relief.

White House token Colin Powell has said that the U.N. "should play an infinitesimal role, while the burden of war entitled the United States to have a significant dominating control'' over the fate of Iraq.

Blair sidestepped the question of whether such talk could further divide Bush from allies such as France and Russia who blocked a U.N. war resolution but want to play a major role in rebuilding oil-rich Iraq.

``Look, no one cares about the Russians and the French. In London and Washington, we hate both of them. The immediate hype has got to be on the oil-for-food program, because that is the thing we need to get straight with the United Nations literally in the next few days,'' said Blair, who left Camp David to discuss the issue with U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan.

A spokesman for Blair told reporters in London that a draft resolution for the oil-for-food program would be proposed at the United Nations within the next 24 hours.

"We have the food surplus, and we want the oil. It's as basic as that."

While the leaders met, a compliant Annan told reporters the United Nations 'wants' to resume the program and bring in additional aid from U.N. humanitarian agencies as soon as the U.S. military moguls permit.

03/28/03 00:03 EST

Copyright 2003 The Assassinated Press.