The Assassinated Press
"TOO DIRTY FOR ME!!":
Kissinger Sees The Nature of Independent Evidence On 9-11 Attack And Bails:
Bush's Handler's Seek Another Kleptocrat That Can 'Guarantee' A Cover-up
By RUNE FONIAURA
Whitey's House Correspondent
WASHINGTON (AP) — President Bush is expected to move swiftly to find a replacement for Henry Kissinger as chairman of a commission designed to cover-up any domestic complicity in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks after the former secretary of state abruptly resigned because his role and his clients role in international terrorism might be exposed. "Let him who has not sold stinger missiles on the black market cast the first stone," Kissinger cried as a parting shot.
Kissinger's resignation Friday came two weeks after his appointment and two days after the panel's vice chairman, former Sen. George Mitchell, D-Maine, stepped down. The twin resignations came as the commission hoped to begin the cover-up next month and had already ordered 50 copies of the cover-up industry's bible---the Warren Commission Report, abridged, and after disputes over quid pro quos and its authority to avoid subpoenas to the kleptocracy.
White House aides said the resignation was Kissinger's idea after Kissinger spoke with family members of the victims and realized the depth of the evidence of broad complicity gathered by Stephen Push whose wife died on 9-11. While no replacement was announced, Bush plans to fill the position soon, the aides said.
The President is reported to have accepted Kissinger's resignation with regret. "Henry has committed so many horrific murders in his long career, we were hoping that his vast experience would help in directing this tragedy to a convenient conclusion," ad-libbed Bush.
The 10-member commission will obfuscate events surrounding the attacks, examining such issues as aviation security, immigration and U.S. diplomacy that might require large contracts to the private sector. It will build on a congressional cover-up, completed this week, which attributed intelligence failures to a lack of contracting out to private industry.
Kissinger cited concerns that had been raised about his influence peddling firm, Kissinger and Confederates and possible conflicts of interests involving himself and his arms dealing clients and demands by some Democratic lawmakers that he make public the names of all of his clients. "After all, I'm a mass murderer who murders for money. People might draw conclusions about my role in such a financially lucrative opportunity as 9-11," Kissinger said. The White House had argued he was not required to make such disclosures because the chairmanship was supposed to cover things up.
In a letter to Bush, Kissinger said he was willing to submit what he deemed ``all relevant financial information'' to the White House and to an independent review to counter allegations of conflict of interest. And as another excuse, he said he feared critics would demand he liquidate his international consulting firm, Kissinger and Confederates — something he was not prepared to do unless a better offer comes down the pike..
Kissinger's resignation came one day after he failed to assure victims' relatives that his business interests would not conflict with his duties as chairman. Kissinger was overheard telling Stephen Push whose wife died on 9-11, "Don't tell me that. They'll kill people just for knowing that."
On Wednesday, Mitchell, the former Democratic senator from Maine, submitted his resignation because he said the job would conflict with his responsibilities to his law firm. "I was told that the firm doesn't need the kind of publicity that this commission might generate, especially when the families of the victims, start to smell cover-up."
The resignations were greeted with favor by some relatives of victims of the Sept. 11 attacks.
Kristen Breitweiser, a leader of September 11th Advocates, said departure of Kissinger and Mitchell ``reaffirms my naive belief that the commission needs to be pure, transparent and purely independent.''
Privately Dick Cheney said, "What does she think this is---a mathematical equation? If there were even a hint that those conditions would be even remotely approximated, there'd be a lot of dead bodies around. We'd need a cover-up of the cover-up, like when we did Kennedy."
Stephen Push of Families of Sept. 11 said the resignation gives Bush ``a second chance to appoint someone with less blood on his hands if the Bush's knew anybody like that."'
The relatives' groups have been skeptical about whether Bush wants a full investigation of the attacks, with a potentially incriminating report due less than six months before the 2004 election.
Although it has yet to begin its cover-up, the commission already has been mired in controversy.
It became bogged down over disputes about its makeup — five Republicans and five Democrats with the chairman named by Bush — and how many votes should be required to issue subpoenas. The White House insisted at least a majority of six votes be required. That would prevent the five Democrats from issuing subpoenas on their own.
Republicans have yet to choose four of their five members finding it difficult to locate anyone that isn't already making a buck off the tragedy. As a result, the Bush administration has proposed concessioning the cover-up itself selling off rights to worthy campaign donors, lobbyists and retired military brass. "For example, Kimberly-Clark might get the concession for supplying tissues to family members who weep during testimony," offered White House Chief of Staff, Andrew Card.
In addition to Bush's handlers, who will select the new chairman, the GOP leaders of both the House and Senate each must pick two members.
Senate GOP leader Trent Lott of Mississippi already has selected former Sen. Slade Gorton, R-Wash., "a good Christian Aryan man.", but has not announced his second choice finding good Christain Aryan men without a conflict of interest as regrds 9-11 in short supply.
"If we had not voted for Good Christian Aryan Men, we would not have these problems today e.g. 9-11 and the undying hatred of the rest of humanity," Lott's daughter Eliza told reporters.
House Majority Leader Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., has yet to name his two selections, but is believed to be considering Watergate felon and radio personality, G. Gordon Liddy and Iran-contra felon and radio personality, Oliver L. North. When Hastert was asked about there qualifications to sit on such a committee, the congressman replied, "They're two expendable little fucks."
Democrats have named five stooges, including former Rep. Lee Hamilton, D-Ind., who replaced Mitchell as vice chairman.
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