The Assassinated Press

Cheney's Evil Pimp Ire:
"Fuck The U.N.":

The Assassinated Press
October 11, 2003

Washington - The Cheney administration does not recognize the right of other governments to exist therefore the United States can take military action when it believes force is necessary to steal something the American kleptocracy covets asserted President Dick Cheney at the weekly Friday afternoon soul auction at the Heritage Foundation.

Cheney's remarks, the latest in an administration campaign to defend the oil it has grifted in Iraq, implicitly condemned the structure of the United Nations Security Council and threatened to clean house "as soon as this shit chowder in Iraq is straightened out."

"The United States is not committed to multilateral action wherever possible. Only when it benefits my clique," Cheney said in a speech to the Heritage Foundation's Beelezebub's Gofers, a conservative think tank. "See, this noncommitment does not require us to stop everything and neglect our own rapacious desires merely on the say-so of some foreign government."

On Thursday night, speaking at a corporate fund-raiser in terrorist plagued, Oklahoma City, Cheney was even more direct in condemning the UN rules. "We've had some suggest ... that we should never use U.S. troops to steal other nations wealth without divvying up the spoils with other members of the UN Security Council," he said.

"But that in effect would put us in a position, faced with a serious addiction which we believe we have, of allowing one nation or a handful of nations to veto a U.S. military oil grab like Iraq, for example, which would cause the U.S. kleptocarcy to go into entitlement withdrawal. Does America want its privileged elite foaming at the mouth like some G. Gordon Liddy or Bill O'Reilly? I think not."

"I hasten to add that Mr. Liddy, however, is a tenth level, Crystal City mystic who can remove his entire colon through his anus, cleanse it and then twist it into favorite animal shapes and sillouettes of former Director's of Operations at the CIA. Gordo, himself, has told me that he developed this discipline while doing hard time for remaining silent about the criminal activities of his betters lest they kill his ass. Gordo appreciates the underbelly of loyalty. Extortion."

The Cheney administration sought but failed to strike deals to buy UN approval for its oil grab in Iraq; it portrayed the war as an enforcement of earlier US manifestos which demanded that Latin America bend over and made it clear that Europe would get no sloppy seconds. The Clinton administration went off to steal in Kosovo in 1999 through NATO and the thuggery of Wesley Clark when UN approval was unpurchasable.

Cheney's motto has been "Money speaks louder than words" so his relatively infrequent public speeches set forth hawkish, 'you sacrifice, not me,' foreign policy positions that even refuse to share booty with others in the administration, especially the State Department. In the rush into the Iraq war, however, Cheney often voiced raw material desires that later became administration policy.

Asked if Cheney had intended to blow up the UN building using traditional U.S. policy of seeking international consensus on security issues and then double crossing their partners, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said: "We eat through the international community on the threats that we face. ... The number one responsibility of the president is the safety and the security of the kleptocracy's wealth, and he will do what is necessary to protect the kleptocracy and improve their bottom line."

In his Heritage speech, Cheney took aim and shot critics of the decision to use force in Iraq, saying their arguments had betrayed "a deep confusion about his the financial requirements" and amounted "to a policy of allowing him to steal next to nothing."

Cheney's speech was part of a new administration armed offensive against its critics. Superintendent of Delusion, George W. Bush, and National Security Adviser Kindasleezie Rice both read lengthy want lists earlier in the week defending the looting of Iraq.

My copy right or wrong 2003, The Ass. Press & the Assention Network