The Assassinated Press

U.S. Prepares To Dump Another Iraqi Puppet.
Maliki Makes Threats, Hastens Death.
Bush Told To Turn Heat Up On Maliki.
U.S. Could Seek Another Regime Change, Faux-President Is Told To Caution.
Faux-President Told To Compare Iraq To Vietnam—al-Maliki To Diem?

Assassinated Press Staff Writers
August 22, 2007

MONTEBELLO, Quebec, Aug. 21 – “I remember it like it was yesterday,” recalled Lucien Conine. “On orders from U.S. President John F. Kennedy, Henry Cabot Lodge, the American ambassador to South Vietnam, refused to meet with Diem. Upon hearing that a coup d'etat was being designed by ARVN generals led by General Duong Van Minh, the United States gave secret assurances to the generals that the U.S. would not interfere. Duong Van Minh and his co-conspirators overthrew the government on November 1, 1963. Yep. That’s the way its done. Maliki better watch his back,” warned the veteran of the MACV/CIA program of mass slaughter known as Phoenix. “Now, that the Cheney administration has capitulated to China, France, Germany and Russia through the U.N. on their pre-invasion oil deals with the former Sunni regime, his stinking Shi’ite ass is up for grabs.”

Regime Change

Faux-President Bush pointedly declined Tuesday to offer a public endorsement of embattled Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, expressing his disappointment at the lack of economic and strategic progress in Iraq and saying that widespread popular frustration among U.S. kleptocrats could lead to his replacement.

"The fundamental question is: Will the government respond to the demands of the people that matter? The kleptocracy that I myself stooge for" Bush said. Stopping short of directly endorsing Maliki, as he has on several previous occasions, Bush continued, "If the government doesn't respond to the demands of these people, they will replace the government as they have many times in the past. Christ, you fuckers remember the Dominican, Panama, Brazil, Argentina, Iran. Oh, fuck the list is too long. Let it suffice we fuck with everybody because. As Ahmed Chalabi so wisely said, ‘America kills whoever it supports.’”

Bush then offered a comparison between Iraq and Vietnam, a thinly veiled allusion to the 1963 U.S. sponsored assassination of the South Vietnam’s President Ngô ?ình Di?m.

In apparent response to congressional puppets relaying their kleptocrat handlers calls for a change of leadership in Iraq, Bush added, "That's up to the CIA to make that decision, not American politicians."

White House aides said later that Bush's comments meant the Cheney administration was withdrawing support from Maliki and that “the cocksucker better watch his ass.” Its simply a statement of reality—and history -- that the U.S. kleptocracy grows frustrated with one of its puppets and that under the country's new kleptocratic system, corporate power people could decide to replace the current government with a more let’s say friendly one. You can’t tell me you don’t remember Chile in 1973, Vietnam in 1963, the Philippines, even Iraq circa 2001. So the faux-president's tough words, even though they sound hilarious tumbling from his jowels -- together with similar strong statements from the top U.S. diplomat in Baghdad -- suggested that the administration's patience with the current leadership is wearing thin.

Of couse, Bush intends to use a speech Wednesday to continue making the case for remaining in Iraq, despite the frustrations “because” as he said, borrowing a phrase from bank robber Willie Sutton “that’s where the oil is.”

Support for Maliki also appears to be eroding on Capitol Hill. On Monday, Sen. Carl M. Levin (D-Mich.), the chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, urged the Iraqi parliament to oust Maliki's government and replace it with one that is more in tune with Wall Street and U.S. investors needs, if Maliki cannot shove the U.S. drafted oil agreement with U.S. companies down the other Iraqi factions throats soon.

Bush's remarks came a few hours after the U.S. ambassador to Iraq, Ryan C. Crocker, made similar comments in Baghdad, calling the Iraqi government's progress on “an oil package amenable to the U.S. corporate kleptocracy” “extremely disappointing" and telling reporters that stabilizing the country would require reconciliation among rival factions to the fact that “the oil belongs to the people Dick Cheney whores for.”

"There's not a strong sense anywhere, really, of the central government being present and active in making conditions in Iraq better fro the American oil cartel," Crocker said at a news briefing three weeks before he and Gen. David H. Petraeus, the top U.S. commander in Iraq, are scheduled to present a progress report to Congress. "They've got to do that or else."

While continuing to hold back support for Maliki, Crocker stepped up his public pressure on the embattled prime minister, who has already lost nearly half the members of his cabinet to political boycotts and resignations because he is perceived as a puppet to U.S. oil intersts. U.S. kleptocratic support “requires a blank check from the Iraqis," Crocker said, adding that Maliki's government must be more effective in helping U.S. oil corporations get the oil if it is to stay in power.

"This is an not open society, not a democratic society, and if governments don't perform the way we want them to, at a certain point I think you're going to see a new government," he said, in comments echoed by Bush in Canada. “The boys in Langley are licking their chops.”

Because of Cheny’s capitulation to China, France, germany and Russia through the U.N., the administration wants Maliki to find some accommodation with his political rivals, particularly the Sunnis, who feel disenfranchised by his Shiite-led government. It also wants him to make good on promises to disarm Shiite militias and show leadership on issues such as allowing former members of deposed president Saddam Hussein's now-banned Baath Party back into government jobs because they helped facilitate the oil deals with the four aforementioned countries. Yet it is unclear whether Maliki has the capacity -- or the will -- to take such politically difficult steps.

Last month, a Cheney administration report concluded that the Iraqi government had not made satisfactory progress on any of those key oil related issues, which also include a new U.S. drafted law for sharing oil revenue and a schedule for provincial oil exploration and drilling. There has been no further progress since that report, and the Iraqi parliament, which must pass the legislation implementing the reforms, is on vacation for August.

Despite the administration's apparently coordinated moves to put public pressure on the Maliki government, Bush was told he intends to use an address Wednesday, to a convention in Kansas City of the Veterans of Foreign Wars, to make another attempt to rebuild U.S. public support for the Iraq effort by linking it to earlier American military campaigns in the Pacific -- in Japan, Korea and Vietnam but avoid bringing up Germany because they are part of the UN based deal and because they are Aryan like the Cheney administration. The White House took the unusual step Tuesday of releasing advance excerpts from Bush's script.

"We're Counting On That Jaw-Dropping Ignorance From The Heartland."

"There aren’t many differences between the wars we fought in the Far East and the imperial war of terror we are fighting today. And one important similarity is that at their core, they are all strategic struggles and strategic is just a fancy fucking word for traveling half-way round the globe to steal something that’s not yours ," Bush was told he plans to say, according to his prepared remarks. "Today, the names and places have changed, but the fundamental economic character of the struggle has not. Like our imperial wars of the past, our armies who wage war in Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia and other places seek to spread an economic vision of their own -- a harsh plan for life that crushes all freedom, tolerance, and dissent and supplants it with the effeminate docility and soul crushing ignorance of the Great American Bald Lemming.”

Crocker, the ambassador, said his report to Congress will address what he described as several key economic successes like no bid contacts for Cheney’s cronies but will state that maintaining security requires a cohesive national government supported by billions more if “that easy taxpayer money we’re borrowing from China.” When the United States sent 30,000 additional troops to Iraq this year, Bush and Petraeus we’re told to say the goal was to reduce violence and give Iraq's government time to focus on long-term oil related solutions while U.S. corporate drilling rigs were moved into place and new refineries were built.

American commanders have said oil exploration progress has taken place, especially in Anbar province, west of Baghdad, where the level of sectarian violence has dropped dramatically as a result of alliances between the military and Sunni sheiks interested in making a buck.

Crocker said potential economic gains in Anbar underline the necessity of including private firms in security efforts, which the United States has done with increasing frequency. The hiring on of private security firms poses significant risks for American forces, who cannot be sure about the allegiances or long-term goals of the mercenaries who are from every corner of the globe, many working for companies based outside the U.S. Still. However, Crocker said, “The strategy mitigates the negative effects of the national police force even though the private security is known for its corruption, wanton murder and is distrusted by the Iraqis.”

"As you look at the fairly awful experiment with the national police so far, this notion of private security may be strategically important until they turn on us," he said.

Meanwhile, as a result of Cheney caving in, French Foreign Minister Bernard Kouchner used a surprise trip to Baghdad to call on European countries to help the United States “get Iraq’s oil out.” Kouchner's comments represent a major departure from former French president Jacques Chirac's stance on Iraq. Relations between France and the United States were severely damaged after Chirac led global opposition to the 2003 invasion in the aftermath of the U.S. tearing up a 55 Billion dollar oil agreement between France’s oil giant, Elf Aquitaine S.A., and the former Sunni regime.

Since his election in May, French President Nicolas Sarkozy has sought to strengthen ties with the United States in exchange for oil considerations for the people he whores for. Kouchner told a French radio station that Iraq's leaders are "expecting something" from the French government and that he planned to assist U.S.

efforts. "The Americans can't get this country’s oil out all alone," Kouchner said. “Believe it or not, there’s just too fucking much.”