The Assassinated Press

America! Christ Killer!---Again And Again And Again...!
"I Can't Come Back! The CIA Would Kill Me!!" Christ Says:
Aristide Did Not Resign; U.S. Marines Kidnap Aristide, Lead Him Off In Handcuffs:
Powell And Rumsfeld Put Their Public Statements About Iraqi WMD On The Line To Bolster Their Claim That Aristide Is Lying; Mbeki Says Powell Never Called Him, Calls Powell A Fat Moca Colored Liar:
"America Is The Third World's Paternalistic, Bad Step-Father."--Desmond Tutu

By The Editors:
The Assassinated Press
March 1, 2004

Port Au Prince---Its like a remake of the Last Suffering where the nationalist is killed again and again for speaking out on behalf of the poor. Yes. America killed Christ again. This time in Haiti in the person of Jean-Bertrand Aristide led away in chains by American Marines who didn't want CIA mercs to make a martyr out of him by slaughtering him and his family in Port Au Prince. U.S. Ambassador James Creamhole Foley was heard to exclaim, "Jesus Christ! Don't let our guys murder him! The last fuckin' thing we need is another Jesus Christ on our hands!" in a clear reference to the populist's blood.

Yet another CIA coup has overthrown an elected nationalist hero who if allowed the ways and means would have, and to a large extent did, attempt to lead his people out of poverty. But no. Once again U.S. intelligence and the executive and legislative branches have bowed to their corporate handlers who saw the humble economic aspirations of the Haitian people to be detrimental to their bottom line. The core of those humble aspirations---a $2.65 an hour minimum wage.

But no. That would have cut into U.S. manufacturer profits and all of those self-absorbed blithering morons who have nothing better to do with their lives than go Chapter 11 buying clothes would have had to pay more, possibly so much that they would have stopped or ameliorated their conspicuous, and decidedly un-Christ-like, consumption.

Not likely. But why take a chance when a classic CIA/State Department run coup would do the trick. And we got yet another one. (Its an utter crime that at this point the Assassinated Press usually feels the need to reprise 15 or 20 of these former U.S. criminal coups because it can't trust that the average American will know of a single one.)

For a country that claims 70,000,000 born again Christians, it sure doesn't act like it. Consistently, born agains prove to be the most acquisitive and socially and politically ignorant members of American society, and, baby, that's saying something. They also help make up that part of the electorate that is against foreign aid, but aren't smart, or courageous or Christian enough to confront their government when someone like Aristide comes along who would, if allowed, put that foreign aid to good use helping the poor. He sure as hell did when he ran his orphanages and aid stations. The poor but powerless in Haiti revere him. The powerful, U.S. contracted light skinned Haitian elite with names like Hans and Edgar hate him for fucking with their profits. Same with the U.S. companies that contract the Haitians.

No wonder Fidel Castro doesn't succumb to the canard of elections. Aristide has been elected twice and the U.S. has overthrown him twice. The perpetually full of shit Clinton administration tried to re-educate Aristide to the American scripture of profit and trickle down. But when they returned Aristide, they found that his commitment was to God and the poor and not to NIKE and Tommy Hilfiger. So its back to the CIA and a second coup.

The U.S. at its paternalistic worst bellows its great charitable enterprises around the world. But in fact, what the American citizenry through their haze and self-absorption seem to sense is that this aid takes the form of bribes to elites to maintain healthy U.S. corporate bottom lines. Agencies and contractors, U.S. and otherwise, get the aid. Much of it is outright, straight up, downright stolen. Much of it is used to insure that corporate bottom line wins out over Christ's bequests. Virtually none of it reaches the poor. JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH! THAT'S WHY THEY REMAIN POOR!!!

Its in the average American's self-interest or so it would seem to combat the forces that make U.S. foreign aid a perennial pork issue with clear felonious intent. If Haitians would be allowed to earn a decent wage and feed their families, no legislator could make a case for foreign aid. "No. Forget the foreign aid, Senator Silvertongue. The Haitians are doing just fine. They may not be buying plasma TVs, but there's no more malnutrition. So Senator. If you and your cronies want to steal from MY Treasury, you're going to have to be more imaginative which I'm sure you and your corporate criminal friends will be." And Christ's struggle against greed will go on for those who think they'll miss the action if Haitians have food and generate the income for it on their OWN. And just think, all of you studied Washington Plutocrats leaking feces into your $2000.00 suits. All of this can be accomplished within the colonialist market framework.

Yeah. I know. Dream on Lefty. Our way works fine. As the kleptocracy, we're perfectly happy, actually overjoyed, giddy, with the way our system works. And we are perfectly content with the level of utter ignorance at which the general population operates at. But what chance do they have given that in the Washington Post's reporting on Haiti even the 'indefinite articles' were lies. It was demonstrated by the Church and Pike committees that the U.S. media was full of CIA agents. Not assets, agents. The Washington Post was most prominent among them. If you don't think that Pete Wilson and Kevin Sullivan aren't reporting the CIA's line then you better call home this morning, because you woke up on the wrong planet, Brother. It's better for most people to not read the Post or the Times etc., because those papers will beat their Christer little asses every time. Frankly, most Americans are not sophisticated enough to do battle with the U.S. kleptocratic media. Look at the slavishness of conservative Americans toward obviously anti-democratic, moneyed stooges like Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. To cross the line and admire those whores is not only hateful but it requires taking a sledge hammer to scripture not to mention Christ's bleeding palms. It must have occurred to some of you that the reason that Rush Limbaugh lost weight, besides his drug abuse, was so that he could fit that fat ass through the 'eye of the needle' along with all of his money. So yeah, those sophisticated Madison Avenue and K Street hucksters sure whup up on you average Joes. They can sell you anything. Christ. When it comes to health issues among others, the kleptocracy has convinced a majority of you to lobby for them to have the right to kill you. The average American is no match for its kleptocracy that's clear. If it got real contentious, the kleptocracy could take the U.S. citizenry right out as witnessed in microcosm from Waco to the Miami anti-Globalization march.

So what's to be done for the Haitians? Can't boycott or burn out the manufacturers. Most are already overseas. The rest provide jobs for low income people in textiles, plastics and retail. The little guy needs jobs given just how little he has become if you take into account Viagra sales. I guess, within Christ's shores of the U.S. nothing can be done. The people are too ignorant; too cowed by a much more sophisticated media kleptocracy; too afraid to protect their own self-interest much less that of the Haitian people.

Notice, how quiet the press has gotten about the overthrow of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela. That's in part because Chavez's people got a hold of a series of documents which, well, document that the CIA and U.S. State Department were pouring tens of millions of dollars into the propaganda coffers of Venezuela's elite and organizing a second coup. The American media doesn't want to have to report this, so they've chosen to report nothing at all. And this is after it has been demonstrated that the U.S. organized the first coup against Chavez.

If Christ were senior editor at the Post or Times is this the way he would want to see the patrons of the poor treated---the political equivalents of his clergy. If Christ were chief executive---well, the kleptocracy would have killed him long before he got that for, kind of like history repeating itself. We don't get Christs. We get Neros, Caligulas or worse.

America has become the world's premier Christ killer. No reprise of all the populists, nationalists, clergy, unionists etc. the U.S. government has killed in the name of its corporate tyrants. Jefferson came down hard on Haiti after it won its independence from the French and the U.S has been grinding on it ever since. U.S. foreign policy toward Haiti has been sadistic---I mean literally sadistic. Only in America could such sadism be called Christian. America is the third world's paternalistic, bad step-father. America better hope the poor's Real Father doesn't return.