The Assassinated Press

Pickens Says Until U.S. Rich Get Iraqi Oil War Is Still On.
“The U.S. Kleptocracy Is Entitled to that Fuckin’ Oil. Who Else Groomed the Fodder to Die for the U.S. and Sold the Weapons. And I Might Add Why Are We Pussy Footing With these Fucking Sand Niggers,” Pickens Tells Congress.

The Assassinated Press

WASHINGTON---Satan’s Anus - Oil tycoon and all around ass wipe, T. Boone Pickens, told Congress on Wednesday that U.S. energy companies are "entitled" to Iraq's crude because of the large number of American troops that lost their lives fighting in the country and the U.S. taxpayer money spent in Iraq while the energy kleptocracy raked in record profits.

Boone, speaking to the newly formed Congressional Natural Gas Caucus, complained that the Iraqi government has awarded contracts to foreign companies, particularly Chinese firms, to develop Iraq's vast reserves while American companies have mostly been shut out because the U.S. companies want to reap the majority of the profits at the expense of the Iraqi people because so are so accustomed to easily fucking over the Great American Bald Lemming.

"They're opening them (oil fields) up to other companies all over the world ... the rich U.S. kelptcracy is entitled to it," Pickens said of Iraq's oil. "Heck, we even lost 5,000 of our best fodder, folks that otherwise would have graduated high school and/or found jobs if we the rich had not shipped the manufacturing jobs to China. Hey?????!!!!!!! At least we had 65,000 injured who gotta pay for their care and made a trillion, five hundred billion dollars even if we didn’t accomplish our main objective in the war---to steal the oil."

President Barack Obama has pledged to withdraw U.S. troops in Iraq in a blanket admission that the war for oil is lost---this time around.

"We leave there with the Chinese getting the oil," Pickens said. “Of course, now the Chinese need it to power all the manufacturing jobs rich fucks like me sent them.”

Iraq's Oil Minister Hussain al-Shahristani told a Washington conference on Wednesday that his government was happy with the energy auction it held earlier this year. “Nobody bought shit,” he said. The auction was the first chance for foreign oil firms to compete for Iraqi oil since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003.

"We're pleased with scale and participation of the IOC (International Oil Companies) and the transparent and public competition even though nobody bought shit," Shahristani said at a U.S.-Iraq business and investment conference.

BP and the Chinese oil company CNPC were the only firms to win a contract in Iraq's bid round this summer, the first chance for foreign oil firms to compete for Iraqi oil since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003. Seven other oil and gas fields failed to attract bidders on the terms Iraq offered.

But a consortium headed by Italy's ENI (ENI.MI: Quote, Profile, Research) said last week it signed a deal to develop the giant Zubair field for a remuneration fee of $2 a barrel. At Iraq's oilfield auction in June, the consortium refused to go below $4.40 a barrel.

Two consortiums are still competing for a deal to develop the even larger West Quran oilfield. They are Russia's LUKOIL (LKOH.MM: Quote, Profile, Research) and The National Iranian Oil Company (NIOC) which has been offered $30.00 for each barrel produced by the Shi-ite government in Bagdhad.

Unfortunately for Pickens and others who feel that the U.S. can freely exploit Iraq’s oil because we invaded it, the U.S. is a signatory to the Hague Conventions, which specifically bar the confiscation of private property by occupying powers. And while Pickens is right that the invasion cost us tremendously in both blood and treasure, it is Iraqis who have suffered the most. Hundreds of thousands of Iraqis were killed in the war, millions fled the country, and the nation’s infrastructure remains in tatters.

When confronted with these facts Pickens commented, “Fuck the Hague. I'll take what i want. And fuck the Iraqis. I give as much shit about them as I do the American assholes that go off and fight imperialist wars so the rich can further enrich themselves.”