The Assassinated Press

UN Report Says US Has Stoned to Death Over 241,000 Innocent Civilians Since 2000.
Dead from Aerial Bombing and Bombardment by Big Guns That Are Trapped and Killed Under Rubble have been Reclassified as ‘Stoning Victims.’
World Asks US to Step Into the 21st Century and Cease this Barbaric Form of Execution.

The Assassinated Press

NEW YORK--- 241,677 innocent people dead. That’s the conclusion of a new U.N. report which has reclassified victims of US aerial bombardment and heavy weapons attack which are struck by rubble as “death by the barbaric act of stoning.”

“The most disturbing part is that all of the people in the report were innocent,” said Malea Deveux, UN human rights commissioner. “There was no due process for these people. One minute their children are playing, they are preparing the evening meal, the next a US plane tosses their own houses down on top of them stoning them to death.”

“What has the US accused them of? Of being poor, brown and helpless? Of being defenseless? Many die slowly in great pain trapped in the rubble. The Americans are barbarians.”

“Is it a crime in the US to be poor? If you read this report, I think yes,” said Andinua Prejev of the Pakastani Women’s Legal Defense Fund. “And the US punishment for being poor in Pakistan or Afghanistan is death by stoning.”

Wadla Fathomir editor of the influential Pakastani News Daily put it this way. “The bullshit western media wants to stop the stoning of one Iranian murderess while ignoring the frontier justice of its own military and civilian powers. This new ruling on the definition of stoning should make it clear that any such canard will be resisted by the rest of the world until the US ceases its evil acts.”

He added that he was certain the pattern of US mass murder would not be halted or even slowed by a change in record keeping. “They’ll keep on murdering us, the sanctimonious shits.”