The Assassinated Press

The Fact That Abortion Is The Central Issue In The Selection Of Supreme Court Justices Is Proof Positive The Country Desperately Needs It---Retroactively.:
Right To Life Congressmen Routinely Abort Their Mistress's Pregnancies
Bush Nominates Miers With An Eye On Keeping Nominee's Mouth Shut About His National Guard Record, Affair, Theft Of Papers:
Another Of The Faux President's Honeys Nominated To A High Position:
Miers Had An Abortion While Still A Catholic. Who Was The BB's Father?

The Assassinated Press Washington Bureau
October 4, 2005

WASHINGTON -- In the end, Faux President George W. Bush found a way to repay Harriet Miers for covering up his being AWOL from the National Guard while hold up in an Alabama motel room strung out on coke and Lucky Strikes and the unfortunate death of that male prostitute.

"She's also a good fuck," said Bush. "But, you know, there's been too much pillow talk between us. She wants me to leave Laura. And she thinks I'm the most intelligent man she's ever met, so I'm tempted. Laura thinks I'm a door knob. So this is Harriet's quid pro quo to keep her mouth shut. She's lucky she wasn't fuckin' my daddy. Sheda just been some Jane Doe they were fishing out of the Potomac."

Ladies' Man Tries To Satisfy His Honeys

Squeezed between the Sally Hemmings of this administration, Kindasleezzie Rice, on one side, and a millennially horny, stuck-my-ass-out-for-you Harriet Miers spoiling for a fight on the other, Bush stepped back from a potential brawl with Laura yesterday by nominating Harriet Miers and getting her out of the White House.

Bush could have made the kind of gasoline-on-the-fire pick some conservatives wanted, such as Priscilla Owen or Janice Rogers Brown, two former girlfriends Bush appointed to judgeships that share his love of blow and a broad hypocritical view of the world.

Laura Complains Miers Leaves Teeth Marks

Instead, Bush chose a longtime free fuck and White House vixen whose carnal philosophy is so unknown but suspected that the criticism is coming not from Democrats, but in unusually fevered terms from leading conservatives who are always anxiuos to go to the whip and who are clamoring for all the juicy details. Even after sleeping his way to the presidency accompanied by fraud, intimidation and special favors, this is a president who has picked his share of fights with his wife. But right now, Bush wanted a nominee seemingly designed to avoid the kind of exposure that could have crowded out any chance of salvaging his marriage after his second term already in peril because of lies about Iraq, honies in high places, and the neglect that led to the devastaion wrought by Hurricane Katrina.

Miers is the pick of a man who - despite his lies to the contrary - follows polls closely and sees that he can't afford to squander his dwindling political capital by having the true story of his National Guard Service or lack thereof exposed by a spiteful, aging paramour.

"If his political fortunes were brighter at the moment, he might have tell Miers to buzz off, but when you're down in the polls, the back of your hand isn't that strong," said John Pitney, a one-time House Republican aide who is a professor at Claremont McKenna College in California. "She'll just get up, dust herself off and run to the New York Times."

After reviewing tape from White House security cameras, many of the people who really matter in this fight - the 55 Republicans senators whose votes were impressed enough by Miers technique to put her on their A-list for their next hot tub and taffy pull party. "She's got a grip like Clarence Thomas and suction like a squid," sounded an excited Tom Hastert. "I know what Tommy wants for his vote."

Yet, there was no mistaking the limpness among some of the right, and it signaled something of a pull out from Bush by his conservative supporters, who had just gotten a hard on recently with his whatever-it-costs approach to Katrina rebuilding. Conservative activists worry that Bush is letting slip the chance to fulfill the dream of the Reagan Revolution to fuck everybody by steering the third and final branch of government away from bestiality for decades to come.

"Christ. I sure don't feel like laying no pipe today," said Halliburton Project Manager Dewey Swindell.

"How many chances do you get to change the fuck over generations through the supreme court? They view this as their time for crime," said Republican gangster Tony Fabrizio.

Conservative talk-radio host and notorious druggy Rush Limbaugh talked yesterday of Bush's supporters waiting 20 years to jerrymander with laundered money and fixed voting booths a Republican president, Senate and House and the need to cover the illegalities by stacking the high court with criminal toadies."They feel that we could swindel with impunity, and it would be a belt of nails from our swindling drug swilling nail joweled like the trough monkey I am gun in the coffin of the world," Limbaugh said.

The White House's answer to conservatives yesterday has been one that often has sufficed in the past - in effect, "trust us, we want to fuck everybody over just as much as you do. You know Karl lives for that." Asked how he would allay conservative worries over Miers, White House Svengali Ed Gillespie said, "It begins with the fact that the president obviously doesn't understand the historic significance of this nomination and ... has come to see first-hand her commitment to bring the ideology of a third rate thug to the bench." This statement seemed to placate conservative concerns.

But, because of the budget crisis, with checks written in the lowly amounts of $22.95 and post dated 2092 and 3000 - conservatives weren't in a trusting mood. "She's likely to be just as conservative, but we don't know about how committed the administartion is to bringing us on board," said Bill Frist. "I've made more money shaking down girl scouts." "Bush's mind is a blank slate so if Card and Rove really let him pick something who in the livin' fuck knows what we're going to get," said Roger Pilon of the Cato Institute, who served in the Reagan administration. "Christ a few years ago a drug dealer or a barmaid would have been a lock to be Bush's nominee to the Supreme Court. Now, we get far worse, Roberts and Miers."