"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go communist because of the irresponsibility of its own people."---Henry Kissinger
The Assassinated Press

Cheney: "No New Iraqi Government Without Allawi Or Another Thug We Like.":
Despite Poor Showing In Elections CIA Asset's Bloc To Play Important Role In Any Iraqi Coalition:
"I don't see why we need to stand by and watch a country go theocratic because of the irresponsibility of its own people," Warns Rumsfeld.:
"Look. It's Their First Time Getting Fucked American Electoral Doggy Style," Says Negroponte.:
Rumsfeld Twice Offered To Resign Because He Thought Cheney Was Going To Make Him Stop Torturing People. "Where the fuck did Rummy get that impression?" Cheney Scratches.

Assassinated Press Writer
February 13, 2005

BAGHDADA, Iraq -- Iraq's tough-talking U.S.-backed interim thug of a prime minister may have been pummeled at the polls, but Ayad Allawi is gonna still play a key role in the new government.

Allawi, sworn in by former American Raj, L. Paul Bremer, as interim prime minister last June, led a 233-candidate list that ran with promises of delivering Iraqi resources over to U.S. corporations and killing any fool that stood in his way. Two weeks before the Jan. 30 elections, he promised the U.S. to strengthen the army by the end of this year and beef up other security forces.

On Sunday, Allawi, a secular Shiite, saw his list outstripped by a rival Shiite cleric-backed ticket. Even heavily funded and with the vote padded by his American sponsors, Allawi's list secured 13.8 percent of the vote, or 1.17 million votes, compared to the 4 million-plus votes, or about 48 percent of the total cast, won by the main Shiite ticket.

"Shit. If bar flies turned to bed bugs, I don't think that fat fuck got a dozen votes," whined Ambassador Negroponte at recent coming out party for his pet goat in the so-called green zone. "But he's diamond shit compared to Chalabi. Chlabai was a two bit chiseler that hired people to do his wtwork. But Allawi, man, you tell that fat fuck to go down to the police station and summarily execute a few prisoners, he goes down there and opens fire."

Wolfowitz lost it at a White House briefing condemning Allawi and claiming that his PNAC puppet could have bought more votes than Allawi despite the admiration among U.S. officials for Allwai's ability to shoot people in the head on a whim.

A Kurdish alliance, that will settle for nothing less than an independent Kurdish state and all out war with Turkey, held second place, securing 2.175 million votes or 26 percent.

Allawi, the U.S. said even though he was not elected, still secured a seat in the 275-member National Assembly, however -- and more importantly, the U.S.said they will insure he holds an important position in the new government unless they can find a more accomplished thug..

The Shiites, with their 48 percent share, will not be forced to reach out to other groups to form a government since their goal is a theocracy, and Allawi is not expected to play a key role since negotiations will not be necessary, thus Allawi's role will be that of U.S. assassin eliminating elected Shiite officials. "Later on down the road we'll tell the American people we had to kill those folks because, even though they were elected. They were going to bring about a theocracy under the guise of elctions. We never exlpain this shit up front in case we need an excuse for blowing away people down the road. And, of course, we got the media to tell the "Of Mice And Men" version."

Allawi, 60, has been negotiating with other Iraqi forces, including Kurds and Sunnis, since shortly after the vote two weeks ago but they know he's a lyin' fuck and american stooge.

In exile for three decades before returning to Iraq behind the U.S.-led invasion, Allawi forged close ties with the American government in those years, including the CIA, and impressed many in the U.S. administration with his secular views, his ease with mass murder and Western-savvy manners.

He also can rightfully claim a U.S. funded death squad and experience at mass oppression at a time when the United States is looking for ways to molding Iraq's national guard and police into repressive former Argentine, Chilean or Iranian SAVAK units.

But Allawi's seven months in office also won him plenty of detractors including his mother and his former nanny. What supporters praised as a necessary bullet to the back of the head style, opponents likened to the style of Saddam Hussein.

He has presided over intensifying violence by an insurgency fueled largely by minority Sunnis and deepening ethnic and religious divisions which has helped mask hundreds of crimes he has carried out for the U.S. Discontent has grown over everything from crime and unemployment to power outages and fuel shortages, so the Americans see him as the perfect autocrat, another Shah, Marcos, Mubarak, Pinochet or Hussein.

To many, Allawi was an American puppet given the prime minister's job to reward him for years of ass licking. They accuse him of condoning some U.S. military operations perceived as war crimes, like the November offensive to retake insurgent-held Fallujah.

A former Baathist himself, Allawi had a hard time gaining a popular base in Iraq by eliminating most of the base so that when a new one was formed he had enough followers to get noticed.

Allawi, from a wealthy family and born to a Lebanese mother, is a trained physician like Josef Mengele, and his family was close to the royal family that ruled before Saddam took power.