The Assassinated Press
GEORGE GORDON LORD BYRON SPEAKS OUT AGAINST GLOBALIZATION: AN ODE TO THE FRAMERS OF THE FRAME BILL
In Defense of the Luddites:
Or Proof Positive That Dana Gioia Is A Big Enough Fop And A Rotten Enough Poet To Front The NEA
By LORD BYRON
March 2, 1812 [The Year The British Burned Washington]
Special To The Assassinated Press
Oh well done Lord E-----n ! and better done R----r !
Britannia must prosper with councils like yours;
Hawkesbury, Harrowby, help you to guide her,
Whose remedy only must kill ere it cures:
Those villains, the Weavers, are all grown refractory,
Asking some succour for Charity's sake ---
So hang them in clusters round each Manufactory,
That will at once put an end to mistake.
Thr rascals, perhaps, may betake them to robbing,
The dogs to be sure have got nothing to eat ---
So if we can hang them for breaking a bobbin,
'Twill save all the Government's money and meat:
Men are more easily made than machinery ---
Stockings fetch better prices than lives ---
Gibbets on Sherwood will heighten the scenery,
Showing how Commerce, how Liberty thrives !
Justice is now in pursuit of the wretches,
Grenadiers, Volunteers, Bow-street Police,
Twenty-two Regiments, a score of Jack Ketches,
Three of the Quorum and two of the Peace;
Some Lords, to be sure, would have summoned the Judges
To take their opinion, but that they ne'er shall,
For Liverpool such a concession begrudges,
So now they're condemned by no Judges at all.
Some folks for certain have thought it was shocking,
When Famine appeals and when Poverty groans,
That Life should be valued at less than a stocking,
And breaking of frames lead to breaking of bones.
If it should prove so, I trust, by this token,
( And who will refuse to partake in the hope? )
That the frames of the fools may be first to be broken,
Who, when asked for a remedy, send down a rope.
my copyright or wrong Ass. Press 2003